trashmod: (Default)
garbage all the way down ([personal profile] trashmod) wrote in [community profile] hydratrashmeme2014-12-07 08:43 am

Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by [personal profile] greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.

Steve doesn't recognize him

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
At one point, there becomes a risk that someone might recognize the Winter Soldier, so some plastic surgery is in order. Now he's buffer, he's got a different face, and he speaks differently from Bucky -- so Steve doesn't recognize him (though maybe he thinks the Soldier reminds him of Bucky sometimes).

He's still sympathetic to this broken victim that Hydra has trashed, but he doesn't feel that special connection with him and won't move heaven and earth to take care of him in the same way.

Bucky, mean while, needs Steve. Some instinct in him tells him Steve could save him (but doesn't everyone feel that way about Captain America?). He's frightened all the time and his only memories are of what was done to him and what he was made to. He knows he needs Steve, but Steve sure doesn't need him and doesn't seem to want him that way.

Please some broken, desperately needy traumatized Bucky trying to win Steve over, slowly finding some of his old charm but generally thinking of himself as an unlovable, soiled mess. Give me heart break and trauma and bonus points for flash backs.

Re: Steve doesn't recognize him

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
oh god how terrible yes please yes

Re: Steve doesn't recognize him

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-13 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Steve doesn't recognize him

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-23 03:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Steve doesn't recognize him

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-24 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Steve doesn't recognize him

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-29 12:14 (UTC) - Expand

My desires are simple.

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
I want this. (https://31.media.tumblr.com/63ffb71b1129501dd84e2d6132943ba7/tumblr_inline_ngeqg0lLXV1rb0z5x.png)

Re: My desires are simple.

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
You want... Brock Rumlow being non-conned wearing a collar or non-conning someone wearing a collar? Or you want to make a commentary on tags? What?

Re: My desires are simple.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-13 08:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: My desires are simple.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-13 13:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: My desires are simple.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-13 13:48 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) Re: My desires are simple.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-13 14:18 (UTC) - Expand

Sam-Centric Trash

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 08:51 am (UTC)(link)
Okay there really isn't enough Sam trash on here so let's go with the simple things.

Maria Hill doesn't make it in time to rescue Steve & co. from Hydra. The trio is taken to Creepy Hydra Base #4 to be disposed of, but naturally trashy fun happens first.
Hydra knows all about Nat and Steve, but Sam's an unknown and it's kind of fun to watch the other two squirm in response to him being hurt.


+ dramatic rescue & emotional fallout because I'm a sucker for fics that attempt to patch up characters after breaking them horribly

Re: Sam-Centric Trash

(Anonymous) 2014-12-29 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Oh this is amazing!

Rumlow/Bucky - most awkward aftermath ever

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
After the movie, Bucky is on the road to speedy recovery with Steve, everything seems to be going great. One big issue, that Bucky keeps to himself because he's ashamed, is that Bucky can't seem to be able to get aroused anymore unless violence/humiliation is brought to the table, in the form of humiliating dirty possessive talk (not necessarily physical violence, since that's one thing he would rather not relive).

Having no idea how to coerce any partner into this, he resolves to finding Rumlow (who had been living low-key hidden somewhere) to find out if the reality would get him off for real, or not. Rumlow would be the best bet, because he has a strong dominating perosnality and Bucky half remembers some of the shit he used to say to him during ops.

Cue Bucky and Rumlow having consensual D/S sex, with all the boundaries decided in advance, where the sex itself is fantastically hot and satisfyng to both, but the resulting aftermath is HORRIBLE GUILT (because Bucky feels awful for wanting this, and Rumlow is actually feeling pretty guilty when it comes to what has been done to the WS).

Even better if they decide to meet many times because they both just can't resist how perfectly compatible they turned out to be for each other, thanks to Hydra's dehumanazing training.

op

(Anonymous) 2014-12-13 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Still OP:

I wanted to precise that what Bucky wants from the sex is to be treated like a doll, a thing. No violence is necessary, just the degrading assumption that he can't choose what he wants to do during the sex. He can just receive and take and do what others tell him to do.

I know, I feel pretty trashy rn, but I swear I've had this prompt in mind for months and I MUST try to write it down so that I can somehow free my brain from it.

Re: op

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-13 17:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rumlow/Bucky - most awkward aftermath ever

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-14 17:10 (UTC) - Expand

New Years Eve At HYDRA

(Anonymous) 2014-12-14 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
How do they ring in the New Year? Does Winter get dressed up as Old Man Time or the New Years Baby? Are there drunken kisses and resolutions that never get upheld? Is there a special execution at midnight? A giant orgy?
Just show me the festive holiday trash fun when the ball drops on New Years Eve.
3-2-1!

Bucky in an iron lung

(Anonymous) 2014-12-14 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Hydra using a negative pressure ventilator/iron lung during the brainwashing process. Either they lie and say he needs it because he can't breathe on his own but one day they'll be able to fix that just like his arm, or it's for pure torment to drive home the idea that he's no longer in control of his body and dependent on Hydra.

So be good for goodness sake

(Anonymous) 2014-12-14 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
Storytime: I was wrapping Christmas presents and we ran out of gift tags, so I started affixing sticky notes to remind me what item is in what box. My roommate came in and was very concerned at the strangely shaped package simply labeled "Bucky".

So, who at HYDRA is getting a trashy surprise wrapped up under their Christmas tree? (And did they remember to put in airholes?) Imagine the Soldier bound and restrained in a dark box, trying to remember his training about being buried alive, and most of all attempting not to panic as he has no idea how long it will be until he is unwrapped.

Teeth.

(Anonymous) 2014-12-14 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
So there's this thing called vagina dentata (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata).

Imagine if Bucky had a version that was like, rectus dentatus. How would that affect our beloved trash party?

Basically, I want Bucky with ass teeth.

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) 2014-12-14 07:50 am (UTC)(link)
okay, mindreader, I was just thinking about this tonight. literally just a few hours ago. except mine was more along the lines of: what if Hydra was having a hell of a time getting their operatives to stop raping the asset, even though it fucked up his programming, so they performed a series of surgeries to make him unfuckable. rectus dentatus (??? latin!), sharpened teeth in his mouth or rows of teeth extending way back into his throat, spiked cat dick. skin that feels all rough and sandpapery so you can't even rub off on him. and then touch-starved, horny bucky being miserable in recovery. anyway, sorry if I hijacked your prompt, just wanted to share that apparently horrible minds also think alike!

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 22:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 02:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 09:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 10:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 14:36 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 00:51 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 02:56 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 13:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 14:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 19:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 19:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 02:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 23:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Teeth.

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-14 22:24 (UTC) - Expand

Bucky/Pierce - Operation: Dinner Out

(Anonymous) 2014-12-14 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
So, yes, I was one of the people in the Spy Game groupwatch last night and, oh, is that movie bunny fuel. And now I need a fix of some Young(er) Pierce acting as Bucky's field handler/contact during the Cold War.

But then I got thinking about the restaurant scene in Nikita (http://youtu.be/4vcT4r7Tljk & http://youtu.be/Hxg_DjlkaMA). 'Cause Pierce would be the type of bastard to give Bucky a Nice Thing after cryo (expensive clothes, a meal at a posh restaurant, a wrapped gift) only expect him to pull off a public assassination with crap exit/escape information instead, 'cause Nice Things don't happen to Bucky.

That's sort-of the prompt. I'd like something where Pierce earns Bucky's trust through covert ops, treats him like a friend, a collaborator and a mentor. Pierce dusting the rough edges off Bucky's Soviet programming, easing his transition from long-range sniper to close-quarters assassin. Then Pierce whisking Bucky away, cranking up the charm, luring him into a false sense of security annnnnd dropping Bucky into an impossible operation.

And if that isn't trashy enough, I'm all for Pierce taking advantage of Bucky at the rendezvous point while Bucky's grimy, scorched and crying but he's not sure why. I mean, really, just all the false apologies and rough sex, please?

I have a mighty need for action-trash.

Winter Soldier dirty talk

(Anonymous) 2014-12-15 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes, fucking a stone-faced Winter Soldier can get a little boring or weird. Some of the agents prompt him to talk, to describe how he's what they're doing to him feels, and coach him on what words they want to hear and what isn't sexy enough to voice. The Winter Soldier gets fucking good at dirty talk during his own rapes.

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk

(Anonymous) 2014-12-15 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
Hell yes

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 06:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 06:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-15 11:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk Part 2

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 02:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk Part 2

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 03:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Winter Soldier dirty talk Part 3

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 06:14 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 07:54 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-17 04:54 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-17 06:26 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-17 14:57 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 04:36 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2017-06-05 19:57 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: Talk Dirty to Me

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-20 17:16 (UTC) - Expand

Plot twist: the soldier accidentally instigated the trash parties

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 08:50 am (UTC)(link)
Over the years, the Soldier has been trained into a devastatingly powerful predator- with handlers holding the leash by controlling his access to basic needs and creature comforts. The first trash party started by accident when he attempted to use sexual favours to get in the good graces of his handlers. Unfortunately for them, when he is soliciting someone, he does it with the same hunter's focus and intensity he uses in the field. Give me the Soldier coming onto his entire team with that same relentless heat we see him apply to his fighting.

Re: Plot twist: the soldier accidentally instigated the trash parties

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 10:55 am (UTC)(link)
shit I didn't know this was a thing I wanted but now I want nothing else.

Winter Soldier is the new head of HYDRA

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
So this is somewhat inspired by a (sadly unfinished) fic on a03

Through the years of brainwashing and having his brain electrocuted, Bucky winds up a bit twisted after the events of CATWS. He gets his memories of Steve back, he gets his autonomy back, he becomes an actual person again and it's great. Except he now identifies with HYDRA's goal. So with the decades of HYDRA knowledge he has, he worms his way up to the top since Pierce is gone and takes over. ("Ya know, it's kind of funny. Since Zola's gone now, I'm technically the oldest living member of HYDRA.")

Steve is still searching for Bucky and trying to take out what remains of HYDRA. Until he finds out that the two are the same. Bucky is absolutely thrilled because he remembers now and Stevie is his best friend. Steve is just trying to talk some sense into Bucky. So at some point Bucky captures Steve and holds him captive, trying to help him stop being stupid and see that Bucky's doing the right thing. Cue lots of trash where Bucky decides to start up where they left off before the war in the hopes of bringing Steve to his senses.

Re: Winter Soldier is the new head of HYDRA

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
HOLY MOLY I LOVE THIS

link to the inspiration?

Re: Winter Soldier is the new head of HYDRA

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-16 18:54 (UTC) - Expand

Someone didn't finish high school

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
so with the dumpster's collective boner over stun batons being used in trash parties I had a thought

In the middle of a trash party, some moron gets the idea to zap the asset or Steve while they're still inside him and learns a very valuable lesson about the laws of physics.

Re: Someone didn't finish high school

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
OH NICE

Re: Someone didn't finish high school

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-21 15:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Someone didn't finish high school

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-28 22:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Someone didn't finish high school

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-30 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Someone didn't finish high school

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-27 03:08 (UTC) - Expand

Fill - Nepotism Hurts [1/1]

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-14 17:01 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill - Nepotism Hurts [1/1] - link to ao3

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-14 18:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill - Nepotism Hurts [1/1] - link to ao3

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-14 18:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill - Nepotism Hurts [1/1]

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-19 06:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill - Nepotism Hurts [1/1]

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-22 03:32 (UTC) - Expand

Rumlow/Sharon Carter - noncon payback

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
When Brock Rumlow gets out of the hospital after the events of TWS, I think it's likely that he's going to have a grudge. He can't get at the people most directly responsible for the failure of Project Insight, but when he has the opportunity to extract some payback from that chick who gave him trouble in the control room, he takes it. The fact that she's Peggy Carter's niece makes it all the sweeter.

Bonus for affably evil, sadistic bastard Rumlow and defiant Sharon, because both are my jam.

Re: Rumlow/Sharon Carter - noncon payback

(Anonymous) 2014-12-17 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, shit. There's another one for my ever growing list of doomed rare-pairs. Thanks for that.

FILL: Sharon/Rumlow A Little Payback

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-14 05:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Sharon/Rumlow A Little Payback

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-14 05:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Sharon/Rumlow A Little Payback

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-17 17:08 (UTC) - Expand

Aftermath sex

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't care whether it's Steve or Bucky as the party favor, I just... have this shameful need for painfully gentle, consensual sex in the immediate aftermath of noncon, with the person who was raped initiating. The more disturbingly too-soon the better. Give me one of them still all bruised and sore and dripping with his rapists' come, and insisting that the form of comfort he wants most right now is to be fucked by someone he loves and trusts. Your choice whether that's actually a terrible idea or not, but the other one takes him at his word and agrees to it.

Optional bonus twist: the person who got whumped was sacrificing himself to protect the other or secure a chance for them both to escape.

I'd also be up for an extra-trashy 100% noncon version where one of them does the rounds as a party favor, and afterwards, once he's totally fucked-up and wrecked from what assorted Hydra goons have done to him, the other is forced to fuck him.
tenlittlebullets: (Default)

Hallowed Ground [1/6]

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets 2015-04-06 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
(You ever want something so badly that when your prompt doesn't get filled, you go "okay then dag nammit I'll write it myself"? Yeah. This is that. It's also a first draft that will probably get some revisions before it goes up on AO3, so con crit is more than welcome.)

-

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate--we cannot consecrate--we cannot hallow--this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.

-

Anyone but Bucky would think Steve was being all Captain America about it.

It's a two-mile hike from the flaming ruins of the Hydra storage facility to the abandoned building where a couple of Bucky's ex-KGB contacts have agreed to pick them up. Steve doesn't say a word or break stride the entire time. He's got himself all wrapped up in his dignity like it's an extra set of clothes that can't be torn off him, marching along with his back straight and his shoulders square and not the slightest hitch in his gait. And sure, Bucky gets why people look at Steve and think "inspiring national icon." It's a look that sits well on him. But right now, all Bucky can see when he looks at Steve is the grimy, bloody-nosed fourth grader Bucky scraped out of a back-alley garbage heap after Billy Myers beat the snot out of him. Defiant little twerp wouldn't even let Bucky lend him his jacket to hide the mess. Walked home with his head held high and his shirtfront smeared with ash and blood and dog shit, and stared down anyone who looked at him funny like he was daring them to ask how he came by his red badge of courage. "Okay, so I got in a fight and lost. So what?" he'd said later. "You tell someone your grandpa lost a leg at Antietam, they gonna care what color uniform he was wearing?"

Bucky doesn't remember what he told Steve's dumb ass in reply. Probably that a missing leg wasn't like going out in public with dog shit on your collar.

Which, for the record, is a principle he's still willing to stand by, and the stains in question right now are arguably even grosser than dog shit. It's not about which is worse. Given a choice between losing another limb and letting another pack of Hydra mooks pass him around like a fleshlight, Bucky would take the dishonorable way out any day. But only one of those makes him feel sick, and even sicker at the thought of anyone else seeing it. Steve can clutch his dignity as tight as he wants if it helps him cope, but that doesn't...

Christ.

Steve shouldn't have to figure out how to cope with this.

It's just plain fucking wrong. It should've been Bucky. It's his shady past, after all—he should've been the one sneaking down into the bowels of the building, past the cryo tank and the chair prototype, to grab the documents they needed on the creation of the Winter Soldier. But he'd let Steve pack him off with the C-4 to rig the whole place to blow—hell, he'd practically jumped at the chance to wipe that shithole off the map himself—and left Steve to tackle the basement alone.

Should've realized it was all too easy. Should've picked up on the signs that the base wasn't as abandoned as it looked. Should've gone right back in when Steve missed the rendez-vous instead of waiting around with his thumb up his ass. Giant pile of should'ves.

He can still almost see the afterimage when he closes his eyes. Like it's seared onto his retinas. All he'd had to do in the end was follow the trail of blood and bodies, but at the end of it was Steve's shield, propped casually up against the cryo tank. A pack of beat-up ex-STRIKE thugs looking murderous and a gaggle of scientists arguing in Russian about what should go in the IV drip. Steve in that fucking chair thrashing against the super-soldier-grade restraints. And behind him, meticulously laid out for display on a steel table, a greatest-hits compilation of the tools they'd used to break Bucky down and keep the Winter Soldier in line.

It's a single frozen moment in Bucky's memory: the split second after he'd rounded the corner into cryo storage and before he'd started mowing them down like the well-trained killing machine he still is. He hadn't even been able to take it all in at first. Which he knows because after the last body fell and he snapped out of it and saw the state Steve was in, he had to rewind to that first moment and force himself to make sense of the details. The chair backrest lowered to horizontal, the legs spread wide apart and locked, and some Hydra rat in a lab coat standing between them. And Brock fucking Rumlow holding a cloth over Steve's nose and mouth and pouring water on his face. The guy in the lab coat was dead on the floor with his dick still hanging out of his pants, but Rumlow wasn't among the bodies. Bucky doesn't even remember how he escaped.

The carnage itself is kind of a blur. He'd been on autopilot. Most of his brain had been taken up by the steel table, the awful specificity of it, and the gut-churning realization that whatever trap Steve had walked into, it'd been laid out with Bucky in mind. Obviously they hadn't turned up their noses at the prize they'd caught instead, but it should've been Bucky in that chair.

Would've been old hat for him. Giant nasty headache of an old hat, especially when he'd just been starting to let himself get possessive about his body again, but that's just more proof that he can bounce back from it.

And Steve? Who the fuck knows how Steve is doing under that look of pensive determination. Not even Bucky can tell, and that's saying something.

Up ahead he can see the stream Dmitri told them about when he gave them directions. All they have to do now is follow along beside it for another mile or so. Steve pauses on the bank when they reach it, staring into the water.

"I can keep lookout," Bucky says, hanging back. "If you wanna wash off."

Steve stays transfixed a few seconds too long, and the pause stretches out into awkwardness before he shakes his head and turns away. "Nah. Probably just melted last week. I'll wait until I can get a hot bath."

Right. A hot bath. Bucky hasn't known Steve all that long in the future, relatively speaking. But he does know that after a lifetime of kitchen bathtubs in shitty tenements with a five-minute supply of warm water on a good day, Steve loves modern showers. It'd been the subject of their first domestic squabble of the 21st century, a surreal experience for both of them. Bucky lets out a humorless laugh. "Bet you never thought you'd thank me for vetoing the apartment that didn't have a tub, huh?"

Steve actually smiles. It's faint, and it doesn't reach his eyes, but it's there. "Did you hear someone thanking you?" he says, just to be an ass. "You should get your hearing checked out. It was a nice apartment."

"Yeah, with a postage stamp for a bathroom."

To Bucky's surprise, Steve closes his eyes, mumbles, "Jerk," with obvious affection, and pulls him in for a quick kiss before setting off again. Huh. He would've expected that to be off the table entirely. It's a close-mouthed press of the lips, and even that much contact has left Steve's ears burning and the rest of his face pale, but just like the subject of their first lovers' spat, it's the normalcy of it that's bizarre. Especially with Steve staring at the water like it's an enemy he has to square off against.

They tramp along beside the stream for a few more minutes before Bucky can bring himself to say, "I still get twitchy, sometimes. About having water dumped on my face. Don't know if you guessed that's why I didn't want the one with just the shower stall. Rumlow always loved that fake drowning shit—I think he heard stories off a buddy at Gitmo and wanted to join the fun."

That brings Steve up short. "Rumlow waterboarded you?"

"Yeah, after I went rogue on a mission in Newark and couldn't remember where I'd been. The docs called off the questioning after a while, said it was some dissociative fugue state memory thing. Too much brain damage. I think it was just Jersey."

"I trained with him," Steve says, picking up his pace and not looking at Bucky, his voice tight with suppressed anger. There's a small wet patch on the seat of his pants. Bucky hurries to keep up so he doesn't end up staring at it. "He knew exactly how long I could hold my breath. Hauled me out of the Piscataqua once, when I got my first lungful of cold water since the Valkyrie and kind of blanked out. I figured that was why he went straight for the ice water once he was done with my ass. But I guess it wasn't really that personal."

Bucky's heart sinks. So Rumlow'd had a turn too. It had been naive to hope that the fuckface in the lab coat had been the only one. Even if he'd shot his load in sheer terror when Bucky stormed in, one guy couldn't really account for the mess Bucky glimpsed before he found the release switch for the restraints. He'd been hoping anyway, because gang rapes are the fucking worst, a whole different level of demoralizing than some lone pervert deciding to take advantage, but why is he surprised? It's STRIKE; all those bastards think of their dicks as just another weapon.

The reminder of the Valkyrie thing must be fucking Steve up real bad, if he'd rather carry the residue of that around with him than get near the water. Bucky isn't even going to pretend to understand. He remembers most of his near-death experiences fondly, the way he remembers his escape attempts. And the cryo-freezing process, well, it's no picnic, but it was usually a reprieve from everything else. Sure, some distant part of him still remembers the terror of freefall and the agony of Bucky Barnes' mortal remains clinging to life in a frigid mountain gorge. The rest of him is busy looking back at that broken body and going, You poor sucker, you don't even know how much you're gonna regret waking up.

Maybe the water's got nothing to do with it, though, and this is just another round of Billy Myers and the garbage heap. Steve picks himself back up, spits on anyone who thinks he should be ashamed of the mess, and walks away none the worse for wear. Must be nice. Sorry for thinking the gang rape might've fucked you up, Steve. Sorry for fixating. Sorry for letting them break me and put me back together wrong, a little nastier, a little more violent and corrupted. But shit, if it's the opposite, and Steve only looks fine now because it's too horrific for him to even start dealing with yet, what would he say if he could hear Bucky thinking about it so casually?

Everything would be so much simpler if it had been Bucky instead. What's one more round to someone who's already lost count a long time ago? It could've stayed his sordid little issue to wrestle with in private and try not to let it sully anything he had with Steve. None of this was ever supposed to touch Steve.

Hallowed Ground [2/6]

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 06:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hallowed Ground [2/6]

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 06:33 (UTC) - Expand

Hallowed Ground [3/6]

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

Hallowed Ground [4/6]

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 06:26 (UTC) - Expand

Hallowed Ground [5/6]

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 06:28 (UTC) - Expand

Hallowed Ground [6/6]

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 06:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hallowed Ground [6/6]

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 06:42 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 07:07 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 07:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Hallowed Ground [6/6]

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 06:58 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 07:27 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 07:02 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 07:54 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 08:06 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 08:52 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 10:16 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-06 11:54 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 20:37 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-08 03:39 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-06 21:07 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-08 03:43 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] minim_calibre - 2015-04-08 00:46 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] tenlittlebullets - 2015-04-08 03:44 (UTC) - Expand

Aftermath of the 'Bucky's doing just fine until he's not' variety

(Anonymous) 2014-12-16 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
After a few months, maybe even mere weeks Bucky comes home/lets Steve and Sam find him, and he's doing fine, considering the circumstances (like: he's perfectly capable of making decisions for himself/functioning like a human being rather than a human weapon and has even regained some important memories of before).

It's so much better than anyone could have hoped for, really, and Bucky is happy for the first time in a long, long time and he's also pleased and relieved that Steve gets so much joy out of having him back and seeing him be happy.

So, naturally, when little/weird/nonsensical things result in severe anxiety/panic attacks/flashbacks/a state of terror/make him lose time or have him sick to his stomach, he hides and tries to ignore it.
It's just little things, after all, nothing he has any right to react to so strongly when he can deal with all the horrors he's suffered and inflicted on others as the Winter Soldier so well, right? (Wrong, but it takes a while until someone notices what's going on while Bucky tries to convince himself that really, having the occasional flashback to trashy horror times, torture and murder in perfectly mundane situtions and hide it, too)

Bucky's sense of what is considered "tmi" is ... faulty

(Anonymous) 2014-12-17 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
In the aftermath of everything Hydra put him through, Bucky's sense of what is appropriate to share and when is severly screwed up.

Like, maybe he'd never even dream of asking for food even when he sits at a set table full of various delicious-smelling dishes - much less eat unless being offered anything at all - he has no problem whatsoever chiming in to a discussion about fun ways to spend the holidays with the suggestion that Steve & friends could have their way with him like so many of the teams he worked with under Hydra, if they were into that sort of thing?

Re: Bucky's sense of what is considered "tmi" is ... faulty

[personal profile] trashbaby1918 2014-12-17 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
please god, just give me this one

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-14 00:10 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-14 00:14 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-14 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-16 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-16 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-16 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-16 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-19 02:13 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-19 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-19 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-22 12:50 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-22 12:58 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-22 12:59 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-22 13:02 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-24 13:37 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-24 13:41 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-24 13:42 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-24 13:43 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-24 13:54 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-27 00:10 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-29 01:37 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-29 23:01 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-01 21:05 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 16:49 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 19:00 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 16:27 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 17:04 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-04 00:16 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-03 16:55 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-14 23:30 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-07 22:07 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-08 13:16 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-07 22:27 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-10 15:42 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-12 01:55 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-16 22:12 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-16 22:14 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-16 23:33 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-16 23:40 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-17 00:08 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] stoatsandwich - 2015-02-17 00:10 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-17 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] stoatsandwich - 2015-02-17 00:17 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-17 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-19 23:09 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-19 23:22 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-20 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-20 03:16 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-20 05:19 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-20 07:35 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-21 01:19 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-28 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-17 00:12 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-17 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-06 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-06 13:06 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-06 13:35 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-06 16:22 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-06 18:13 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-23 21:13 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-23 21:23 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-23 21:26 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-23 22:33 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-14 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-23 22:40 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-23 22:44 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-29 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-08 01:25 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-08 01:25 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-11 02:32 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-11 02:34 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-11 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-11 04:53 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-11 04:54 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-11 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-12 18:22 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-16 21:38 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-16 21:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Windmills, author's note

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-26 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-26 00:10 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-26 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-26 01:53 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-26 21:51 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-27 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-16 22:13 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-16 22:15 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-17 13:59 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-17 14:02 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-29 01:51 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-29 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-30 13:44 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-30 14:05 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-30 14:55 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-30 15:40 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-30 22:42 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-02 17:26 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-03 22:45 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-04 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-18 17:00 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-04 12:56 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-03 20:59 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-03 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-18 15:48 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-18 15:30 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-06-18 15:22 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-08-06 22:15 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-08-07 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-02 22:11 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-13 11:01 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-13 14:46 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-20 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-20 09:20 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-21 16:40 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-14 00:12 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-14 03:17 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-12 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-13 06:26 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-13 18:50 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-14 04:17 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-18 23:52 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-18 23:58 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-19 00:04 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-19 00:09 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-21 06:41 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-10-21 06:44 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-11-03 18:03 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-11 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-11 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-14 07:56 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-11 23:56 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-11 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-20 20:19 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-09 00:55 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-09 00:59 (UTC) - Expand

...

[personal profile] undomielregina - 2016-02-09 01:00 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-09 01:21 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-09 15:20 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-10 14:44 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-10 20:49 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-11 03:19 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-11 18:02 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-11 19:53 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-17 07:25 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-09 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-20 07:40 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-20 18:13 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-20 07:49 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-20 08:16 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-20 08:24 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2016-04-22 20:54 (UTC) - Expand

Honeypot Operation

(Anonymous) 2014-12-17 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes being sent on honeypot operations. To root out homosexuals (for some reason idc)? To locate/seduce a specific target? In the comics, Bucky was 16/17 when he fell, so this could be comics!canon of actual underage Bucky running around doing the seduction (one of the reasons the Winter Soldier was so valuable was that he could pass for American, after all) or it could be MCU!canon Bucky. Underage is okay by the OP.

FILL: Honeypot Operation

(Anonymous) 2014-12-21 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
http://archiveofourown.org/works/2815013
In from The Cold

Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) 2014-12-17 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Remember when Bucky got thrown in the gulag and Natasha had to come save his ass?

Give me what happened during the day, in between the fights. Give me Bucky's enemies hate fucking and beating the shit out of him, the wardens taking advantage of the fact he can't fight back or he'll be stuck there forever.

For extra bonus points, have Steve find out what's happening and be powerless to stop it, or else start an international conflict. Hell, maybe they send Steve a tape of Bucky's "prison rehabilitation".

Re: Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) 2014-12-20 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
(da) AHEM, in case anyone hasn't read the comics and is looking for extra inspiration on this: http://i.imgur.com/zZmkFw3.jpg

Re: Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-21 08:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-22 05:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-22 07:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-27 20:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Gulag, pursued by a bear

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-09 07:15 (UTC) - Expand

Pierce/Bucky, gilded cage

(Anonymous) 2014-12-18 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
(I guess this could either go as a "Hydra wins" situation or just Pierce liking to take the Winter Soldier out every once in a while and play with him??)

Pierce keeps Bucky like a treasured exotic pet. Jeweled collar, gold leash, dressed up all pretty, nothing to do all day but sleep in featherbeds and be petted and hand-fed at meals. You know, the works.

(And Bucky can't understand why Steve or anyone would want him to leave Mr. Pierce, who's such a good master to him. )

Re: Pierce/Bucky, gilded cage

(Anonymous) 2014-12-18 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
This is everything I've ever wanted

Re: Pierce/Bucky, gilded cage

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 06:08 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Pierce/Bucky, gilded cage

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 14:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Pierce/Bucky, gilded cage

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-19 18:57 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-20 13:47 (UTC) - Expand

Unprompted fic: Poe Was Wrong

(Anonymous) 2014-12-18 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
Hi, dumpster friends. Love what you’ve done with the place. I see you’ve decorated for the holidays with burned-out, rat-chewed Christmas lights and moldy fake snow.
I did a bad trash thing that no one asked for, so I’m just gonna leave it here tucked under an old prescription bottle filled with broken used lancets and a slimy banana peel. Gaslighting, non-con drugging, emotional manipulation, and sexual abuse galore(including opportunistic manipulation involving past sexual abuse and prostitution). Basically this is pure evil, from the perspective of the awful person who did it and is now pretending to feel bad about it, so that makes it even more gross. I almost had Winter Soldier gaslighting Steve on a mission, but I couldn’t do it, so … this happened.

Basically: HYDRA tries to fuck with Steve to destabilize him and they pick a random agent to do that, which he tries to accomplish by taking advantage of Steve’s situation to befriend him, date him, and ultimately gaslight the hell out of him. POV is anonymous. Author is very sorry and regrets pretty much everything.

Unprompted fic: Poe Was Wrong [1/3]

(Anonymous) 2014-12-18 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for clearing your schedule for me. I know it’s short notice. I heard you’re the best, though. It’s just … the dreams are getting worse, and … Look, I have kind of an awkward confession to make. Wait, this is confidential, right? I seem to recall a number of forms that I signed … Ah, good. Whew. Okay, then.

Okay, so it’s like this. HYDRA … made you do things … you didn’t think were possible. Things you didn’t know you could achieve. They pulled the absolute best out of people, brought their potential to new heights. The visionaries were made luminous. Promise was reality.

But the flipside to that … is that they showed you the absolute worst you had to offer, too. They showed you first, actually. What an animal you really are, what you’re capable of without guidance. You scare yourself into believing their hype, thinking they can make you better, give you structure. Bring order to the chaos.

I’m not proud of everything I did under HYDRA. I mean, I’m not as ashamed as I should be, I know that, and there’s a part of me that’s still kind of impressed by some of it in a morbid way, but it bothers me a little now, or else I guess I wouldn’t be seeing you.

This is one of those things I’m never sure how to feel about. On the one hand, if I’m going to be totally blunt about it, I mean, no hedging, not drag it out, I’m not going to couch this in sanitary, euphemistic terms –
Okay, okay. Point taken.

I raped someone. There. I’ve never said it out loud, but it’s been tossing around in my head for the past two years and I know what it is. Some of the guys I worked with, they didn’t call it that, but I don’t need to pretend. It’s what I did. It’s what I am now, I guess. A rapist, even if I never do it again.

I think … I think I need to just … get it all out there, you know? Is that okay? You won’t get sick or anything, will you? I know you said you’ve heard some fucked-up shit, but this is pretty fucked up.

I wasn’t with HYDRA long. They started putting out feelers in my direction before Cap got defrosted, but I didn’t hear the call until just after New York. The world was getting crazy and, fuck, I had family there, you know? Nephew lost a leg when a chunk of falling building crushed it, my sister died when one of those Chitauri scooter things lost power after the portal closed and the momentum propelled it right into her. Died instantly. It put things in perspective for me. I had training, I had guts, I wanted to fucking *do* something, and SHIELD just wasn’t fucking doing it. SHIELD was impotent. They were useless. I saw that then.

And that’s when Rumlow sent flowers to Diane’s service and a handful of the guys chipped in to get Jake tickets to the game, right by the field, make him feel better about the leg. Let him forget for a little while. They were nice guys.

I keep doing that, you know. Keep forgetting that they’re murdering rapist perverts.

Keep forgetting that I’m a murdering rapist pervert.

Anyway, Rumlow asked me if I could smell what was in the air, if I felt the change coming on the breeze. I was ready to hear whatever he had to say. Diane wasn’t in the ground six months before I’d killed my first dissenter. Eight months and I was moving up in the ranks.

You can’t really get into the inner circle, though, with the true believers, until they’re sure about something. Until they’re sure how far you’re willing to go. That you can be honest with yourself about what a low creature you are, how you can be broken and made better in HYDRA’s image if you give in and let them show you the way. How you need them.

Nine months and I took a dick up my ass for the first time. It wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t great, but they had lube. Kind of. All I could smell for two weeks was WD-40. They told me, “This is what you can do for us,” and I was glad to.

It would have been nice if they’d asked first, instead of jumping me, pulling a bag over my head, and cuffing me to a pipe. But you have to be prepared for all eventualities in this business, and I told that voice in my head to shut the fuck up and trust them, and it worked out okay.

No, no, you misunderstand. That wasn’t rape. That was a trust exercise. A ritual, if you will.

You know what? Fuck you. You’re missing the point of my story. I’m no one’s victim. I was powerful. How the fuck else do you think I fucked Captain America? By being a victim? Buddy, I don’t think so. Let me get to the important thing.

Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you yet who it was I raped, did I? Well, that’s him. The big guy himself. He doesn’t know about it, I don’t think. He was pretty …

I’m getting ahead of myself, getting derailed by bullshit psychobabble victim garbage.

What happened was this: they said, “This man is dangerous. This man is unpredictable. This man is sharp.” And they said, “Make him unpredictable, but blunt.”

And I did that. I was the guy they counted on to do that. I sneaked into his apartment and moved things at first, your basic gaslighting, trying to make him doubt himself, maybe convince himself the seventy-year freeze had fried his brain a little, but it didn’t really work. I think he guessed from the start that people would be in his place no matter what and he probably couldn’t stop it. It was kind of depressing, actually, to realize that. Guy had no expectation of privacy. Nothing to call his own. I had to go home and make love to my wife that night, I was so bummed out. Kiss my kids goodnight, read them bedtime stories, the whole nine yards.

But I had a job, and he was in the way of progress. Humanity is – sorry, *was* poised on the very edge, a tipping point, and he was holding us back. It wasn’t hard to paint him as the enemy.

I started following him around, never close enough to be seen, even with his skills (which I underestimated, but got lucky and wasn’t caught), and then I’d back off for a while, give him some space to doubt that I’d been there. Never threatening. Just around. Always with an excuse at the ready should it become necessary, but it never did.

Clearly, this wasn’t new for him either. He was familiar in the ways of impersonal espionage and long-distance sabotage. Every little angle I tried, he wasn’t even fazed.

I stepped up my game.

I joined STRIKE. Went out for a few beers with the guys, Rumlow hassled Cap into coming out with us, and I took a chance. I pulled him aside to tell him something that had been bothering me.

“Steve,” I said, real gutted with regret and shame, looking him in the eye like Captain America would want and calling him by name to ingratiate myself, “I need to clear the air here. My last mission … It was about you. It was surveillance on you. I washed out, though. It didn’t feel right, I didn’t bring back good intel, so they bumped me out. Luckily Brock was able to plead my case for me, give me a second chance. There’s some people with actual scruples and brains calling the shots over on this side. But there’s parts of SHIELD, man, they’re no good. I just couldn’t do it, knowing you don’t deserve that. I’m really sorry. I understand if you want me off the team.”

I waited.

“No,” he said, real slowly. He was looking at me like he could just taste where he’d seen me before, just feel it out, and then he kind of relaxed, almost relieved. I know, I couldn’t believe it either. Guy was desperate for people he could trust. “I appreciate you telling me this. I … know that sometimes we get tasked with unpleasant missions. It’s good to know you’d have my back. Unfortunate that you’re bad at surveillance, but luckily that’s not what STRIKE’s for, so. Yeah, thanks. Tell the truth, it’s not a surprise.”

He didn’t say any more at the time, but his trust in SHIELD was already shaky. My job was to spin it like sugar until it cracked under the weight of its own lies and justifications.

And that’s how I got Cap to trust me, by pretending to come in from the cold, do the right thing, agonize over my moral failing, my mistake. Mea culpa, I said, and all was forgiven, if not forgotten. Play the good informant, tell him things are rotten in the state of Denmark, be the guy who has his back and lets him know what’s up. It’s not safe here, man. They’re telling you lies; I’m the honest one. We’ll look out for each other. You and I, we’ll do the right thing.

I was a stand-up guy. That was my way in.

People say I look like that Barnes guy. I used to think, sometimes, the more I got to know him, how absolutely distrustful he could be, that maybe that was the only reason it worked for as long as it did.

He’s kind of closed-off, is the thing. You get to know him, and then the buck stops. You can only get so far. He does a lot of thinking, a lot of mental calculations, constantly adjusting, recalibrating, and you can kind of tune into the rhythm of his suspicion, but at a certain point, you just have to accept that he’d never really trusted SHIELD to begin with. There was only so much crippling of that relationship that I could do when it was born without legs. It was never going anywhere without help.

SHIELD he couldn’t turn to. He didn’t have conventional friends. But you’d get the impression that he was used to relying on himself anyway, so I realized, that was what had to go.

So I had to get closer. More personal. It wasn’t enough to be his work friend. Wasn’t enough to be trusted in the field, even; he’d been trusting strange soldiers with his life since before I was born.

You know something not a lot of people know about Captain America? He’s into men. More people should know this, ‘cause he’s not that subtle about it, doesn’t really try to be once you know he’s looking, but still, no one seems to catch it.

I caught it.

Unprompted fic: Poe Was Wrong [2/3]

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 05:10 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 08:37 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 11:39 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 13:11 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-18 13:29 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-21 01:37 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-21 08:48 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-17 17:21 (UTC) - Expand

Rumlow/Steve (or Steve/Rumlow) - Sex pollen/fuck-or-die, post-CA:TWS

(Anonymous) 2014-12-19 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
Post-CA:TWS, Steve is looking for signs of Bucky in an abandoned HYDRA base but runs into Rumlow instead, and the ensuing fight triggers an old sex-pollen booby trap. Whoops, now they're stuck in a fuck-or-die situation with the last person on Earth they'd actually want to get intimate with.

- No forcible rape, please. Rumlow can't overpower Steve, and Steve won't force himself on Rumlow. Neither of them wants this, but they agree to do what's necessary to survive (making it mutual non- or dub-con; sex pollen makes consent questionable even if they both say yes).

+ Hate-sex, abusive dirty talk, Rumlow's emphatic heterosexuality slash fragile masculinity, Steve being a snarky punk who's not putting up with any shit, fighting during fucking, maybe one or both enjoying it more than they'll admit.

Re: Rumlow/Steve (or Steve/Rumlow) - Sex pollen/fuck-or-die, post-CA:TWS

(Anonymous) 2014-12-20 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
Oooh, great prompt! I may have to fill this. Especially with Rumlow's fragile masculinity/emphatic heterosexuality and snarky Steve, yessss.

Rumlow's monster cock

(Anonymous) 2014-12-19 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Before the events of CA:TWS, Steve and Rumlow were dating. Rumlow iniated their relationship as a way to get in Steve's head/control him/fuck with him/whatever. Steve, on the other hand, thought Rumlow genuinely cared about him. I want Rumlow devirginizing Steve with his absolutely huge dick, not caring that he's hurting Steve, and Steve being in pain but thinking it's normal/he can take it/etc.

Pecker gag/muzzle as asset-taming equipment

(Anonymous) 2014-12-20 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
So after a trash party, someone notices that the asset seems to calm down when there's something in his mouth. This information is relayed to the techs and, well... eventually, the HYDRA pecker-gag muzzle is born. (Crack? Serious fic? YOU decide.)

Comeplay

(Anonymous) 2014-12-20 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
More specifically, the Winter Soldier licking come off the ground or out of someone's hand. Docilely. Like a well-trained pet.

*burrows back under several pieces of grease-stained crumpled-up newspapers*

Re: Comeplay

(Anonymous) 2014-12-25 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Would you accept an art fill for this because. I might be drawing it.

Re: Comeplay

(Anonymous) - 2014-12-29 05:07 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 05:33 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 05:49 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 05:50 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 09:28 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 22:47 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 22:50 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-16 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

...

(Anonymous) - 2015-02-09 07:16 (UTC) - Expand

SHORT FIC

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 13:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: SHORT FIC

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-10 22:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: SHORT FIC

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-11 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: SHORT FIC

(Anonymous) - 2015-01-16 02:57 (UTC) - Expand