trashmod: (Default)
garbage all the way down ([personal profile] trashmod) wrote in [community profile] hydratrashmeme2014-12-07 08:43 am

Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by [personal profile] greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 2/?

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I think one of my favorite things about this update was their difficult but honest communication (in huge and hilarious contrast to your other fill). You really get across how hard this is for them through body language; Steve, ashamed of himself but addressing his speech to the table; Bucky with his rag, obsessing over the cleanliness of his hand (and that helped create the powerful impact of the "I want you" line, by showing that Bucky had stopped paying attention to the rag). This is a very difficult, painful conversation for them both, but nevertheless they really try to express themselves and to understand where the other person is coming from. It's practically... healthy??

Another nice touch for their growing honest communication is that Bucky was able to command Steve not to touch his hands or wrists. That's a very tragic trigger -- I will admit that after you posted this I spent a lot of time thinking up scenarios for what could have created that trigger -- okay I know I put it in the prompt but I didn't really think it through then, it just seemed SAD, ANYWAY -- but I loved that he actually told Steve his hands were off-limits, instead of doing yet another little dance to hide it. It seems that now the trash cat is out of the bag, he's more willing to be open about what is and isn't okay for him.

But as for what is still unhealthy, the way Bucky talks about himself is still so sad. Not just that he "got used," which is language that distances itself from the reality of what to done with him, but also that he thinks it would be perfectly understandable that Steve might not want to go "where everyone's been." Like he doesn't quite see himself as a person who has inherent value that can never be taken away. And there's a lot of layers of implication in his line that Steve might not want to "deal with that": deal with what, exactly? Deal with having something tarnished, with whatever feelings of disappointment or disgust Bucky imagines he'll have? Or deal with Bucky's problems, deal with what Bucky's already dealing with inside himself?

Also they HUGGED and Steve TUCKED HIS FACE INTO BUCKY'S SHOULDER and I am EMOTIONAL.

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 2/?

(Anonymous) 2015-02-04 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
It was important to me to write characters who at least understand the concept of talking to each other, not least of all because I can't stand stories whose entire plot could be averted if only they would act like grown ups have a conversation. Also, it was really difficult to see Steve going ahead with things before getting the whole... consent question cleared up. Now, will this solve things? Only time will tell.

This fill has made me spend a lot of time thinking about the... nexus of intimacy and control and how those might have been used. I didn't want to derail things into a very special episode titled Bucky Sets A Boundary, but that's part of why he's so assertive there. Sure, Steve says he'll listen, but what will he actually do when told no? I don't think Bucky really believed it up until then. And he's still very much in a place of feeling like he's been changed into... a thing for someone else's pleasure. He knows better than to reiterate it in the cold light of day, but he meant the broken toy line too.

Well. I had to give them at least a little sweetness after everything else. :P

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 2/?

(Anonymous) 2015-02-04 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I want to cry whenever stories who try to shoehorn in superficial drama by having characters hide important information for literally no reason. Bad communication can be great if there's a real reason for it, but otherwise good communication is so good for character work! And then you can get down to the real shit!

Now, will this solve things? Only time will tell.

/rubs hands together like a supervillain gloating over live footage of the hero being lowered into the bear pit

nexus of intimacy and control

The nexus where my heart lives. I'm so happy you're exploring this kind of thing! Control of the kind Bucky was subjected to -- violational, abusive, lengthy -- is inherently intimate, really! He would have had no defenses to guard himself from his abusers, and they would have seen (and then been able to do what they wished with) every part of him, physical and emotional. He was so stripped bare and vulnerable. Also you were talking earlier about how Bucky's thinking is still skewed in some serious ways, and you've done a good job getting that across here, too, with his self-perception. AND, apparently, the fact that he really wasn't sure that Steve would take no for an answer, which is so... traumatic.