It's another to think about the idea that your oldest and dearest friend (with whom you have recently begun a sexual relationship) has been raped so often and for so long that it's become his dominant experience, and as part of his abuse has had his sexual response re-wired for maximum humiliation on his part/pleasure on his rapists'.

I feel incredibly sorry for Steve and Bucky and really excited about this fic.

It makes me happy that Bucky was in fact consenting, and also I love that you see Bucky as having wanted to hide this shit forever but then, when it came out, accidentally talking about it in the degrading language that's been ingrained in him, and then being pissed with himself for that. This is just a good.