The worst part of it isn’t that Bucky’s there for all of it, because he is. He’s there for Rumlow’s fingers in his hair, practically gentle like he always was, and Rumlow’s come leaking out of him, because Bucky had always been there for it. Not always remembering context or thinking about much, but there.
The worst part of it isn’t that he’s there for it. Rumlow had never been particularly creative or cruel, and he only had so much time. Compared to some of them, Rumlow had been practically a reprieve. Bucky had looked forward to Rumlow as much as he’d looked forward to anything, then. This time is hardly anything.
The worst part isn’t that the rest of them know before they even see him, because Bucky just knelt there obediently and let Rumlow walk away. There’s not a mark on him and they know before they even seem him kneeling there with come leaking out his ass. Steve, Natalia, Sam, Barton, even if they don’t know the rest yet, they know he’ll follow orders, they’ve seen him left kneeling there, they’ve seen that it’s all just been playacting these past few months. He’s just gotten better at pretending. Sam and Natalia suspected, and this is just confirmation.
When the team asked for his approval to bring Rumlow, Bucky couldn’t decide if it would be worse facing Rumlow if the bastard had told all first or kept it all to himself. It was fine, he was fine, until the bastard started talking, because no one else knew and Bucky was fine so long as he pretended it would stay that way.
Because of course Steve and Nat and Shield wouldn’t have let Rumlow near him if they knew, because Bucky wouldn’t have been in the field to begin with. Not if they knew how easy Bucky would follow orders.
Would always follow orders. Because if it happened again, Bucky knew he’d do the same again. Follow orders. Not fight back. Kneel. Let Rumlow walk away.
But now they’ve seen, and after Rumlow and Hydra took everything else, that’s the worst part. Even after everything Hydra’s taken, there’ll always be something new to take as long as Bucky chases normal. Steve’s knees crack on the concrete beside him and Bucky lets himself be folded into Steve’s arms, because it’s no worse than anything else that happened, and Rumlow’s right.
Re: Fill: Reunion Tour (3.5/3.5) complete
The worst part of it isn’t that he’s there for it. Rumlow had never been particularly creative or cruel, and he only had so much time. Compared to some of them, Rumlow had been practically a reprieve. Bucky had looked forward to Rumlow as much as he’d looked forward to anything, then. This time is hardly anything.
The worst part isn’t that the rest of them know before they even see him, because Bucky just knelt there obediently and let Rumlow walk away. There’s not a mark on him and they know before they even seem him kneeling there with come leaking out his ass. Steve, Natalia, Sam, Barton, even if they don’t know the rest yet, they know he’ll follow orders, they’ve seen him left kneeling there, they’ve seen that it’s all just been playacting these past few months. He’s just gotten better at pretending. Sam and Natalia suspected, and this is just confirmation.
When the team asked for his approval to bring Rumlow, Bucky couldn’t decide if it would be worse facing Rumlow if the bastard had told all first or kept it all to himself. It was fine, he was fine, until the bastard started talking, because no one else knew and Bucky was fine so long as he pretended it would stay that way.
Because of course Steve and Nat and Shield wouldn’t have let Rumlow near him if they knew, because Bucky wouldn’t have been in the field to begin with. Not if they knew how easy Bucky would follow orders.
Would always follow orders. Because if it happened again, Bucky knew he’d do the same again. Follow orders. Not fight back. Kneel. Let Rumlow walk away.
But now they’ve seen, and after Rumlow and Hydra took everything else, that’s the worst part. Even after everything Hydra’s taken, there’ll always be something new to take as long as Bucky chases normal. Steve’s knees crack on the concrete beside him and Bucky lets himself be folded into Steve’s arms, because it’s no worse than anything else that happened, and Rumlow’s right.