I'm sorry if this idea is, like... so sad, but here goes:
I love all these fics where Bucky can only get off in a specific way, and he and Steve go through agony trying to make it work, and then finally they get it right and it's beautiful. But because I'm a terrible person, lately I've been wondering: WHAT IF THEN STEVE DIED
So what I'm looking for here is a post-Stucky story where Steve is gone and, like a rotten cherry on top of all the grief, Bucky has to renegotiate how to have sex without the guy who'd figured it out with him.
IDEALLY:
+ this broken dick fic is of the 'needs to be hurt' variety, or otherwise 'can only come with penetration,' if the author of Smash All Your Mirrors wouldn't mind?
+ it's Sam Bucky finally propositions when he wants to have sex, but it's more friends-with-benefits than romantic; Sam is the only person he trusts with this
ADDITIONALLY:
+ all of Bucky's resigned shame revealing such intimate details about himself to a friend: what he needs to get off, how to work around his triggers and trauma symptoms, and by extension all the rape and torture he endured
+ a dynamic where Bucky's learned to cope with his sexual needs but only with Steve, and the emotional hangup for him is letting Sam in, letting him see not just what's 'wrong' with Bucky but also what had been a secret & important part of the Stucky relationship
+ compounded grief at Steve's loss: they're working around the hole Steve left, this drives home everything Steve was to Bucky, etc
Bucky's broken dick; sad friend sex; Bucky/Sam + Bucky/Steve
I love all these fics where Bucky can only get off in a specific way, and he and Steve go through agony trying to make it work, and then finally they get it right and it's beautiful. But because I'm a terrible person, lately I've been wondering: WHAT IF THEN STEVE DIED
So what I'm looking for here is a post-Stucky story where Steve is gone and, like a rotten cherry on top of all the grief, Bucky has to renegotiate how to have sex without the guy who'd figured it out with him.
IDEALLY:
+ this broken dick fic is of the 'needs to be hurt' variety, or otherwise 'can only come with penetration,' if the author of Smash All Your Mirrors wouldn't mind?
+ it's Sam Bucky finally propositions when he wants to have sex, but it's more friends-with-benefits than romantic; Sam is the only person he trusts with this
ADDITIONALLY:
+ all of Bucky's resigned shame revealing such intimate details about himself to a friend: what he needs to get off, how to work around his triggers and trauma symptoms, and by extension all the rape and torture he endured
+ a dynamic where Bucky's learned to cope with his sexual needs but only with Steve, and the emotional hangup for him is letting Sam in, letting him see not just what's 'wrong' with Bucky but also what had been a secret & important part of the Stucky relationship
+ compounded grief at Steve's loss: they're working around the hole Steve left, this drives home everything Steve was to Bucky, etc