What it says on the tin. Because of frequent mind-wipes, Bucky doesn't remember being raped, despite it happening quite frequently.
So every time they rape him, as far as he recalls, is the first time - with all the pain, shock, horror, humiliation and panic that comes with it...because he thinks he never had anyone fuck him before.
Even when he gets to the point where he's obedient and no more struggles, in his mind he's still equally shocked, and his body reacts like it's a new trauma.
Bonus points if at some point he begs them not to fuck him "because he's still a virgin there" (even though he was raped often before) and tries to bargain with them offering to suck them off. They take him up on the offer, then laugh and rape his ass anyway. And/or variations on that for subsequent rapes.
Extra bonus point if after he's free and starts regaining his memories, he breaks down crying finally remembering just HOW MUCH and how often he was raped, and not being able to deal with it.
Extra super bonus points if he BEGS Steve to fuck him, just so that he can have the experience of being fucked consensually even if it's just once, but he still feels all that pain, shock, horror, humiliation and panic all the while of being fucked, despite it being consensual. He cries all the way through, but still keeps begging Steve to keep going until it's finished. Steve is horrified by feeling like a violator, but in the end it does seem to give Bucky some sort of twisted sense of catharsis.
Every rape is the first rape (as far as Bucky knows)
So every time they rape him, as far as he recalls, is the first time - with all the pain, shock, horror, humiliation and panic that comes with it...because he thinks he never had anyone fuck him before.
Even when he gets to the point where he's obedient and no more struggles, in his mind he's still equally shocked, and his body reacts like it's a new trauma.
Bonus points if at some point he begs them not to fuck him "because he's still a virgin there" (even though he was raped often before) and tries to bargain with them offering to suck them off. They take him up on the offer, then laugh and rape his ass anyway. And/or variations on that for subsequent rapes.
Extra bonus point if after he's free and starts regaining his memories, he breaks down crying finally remembering just HOW MUCH and how often he was raped, and not being able to deal with it.
Extra super bonus points if he BEGS Steve to fuck him, just so that he can have the experience of being fucked consensually even if it's just once, but he still feels all that pain, shock, horror, humiliation and panic all the while of being fucked, despite it being consensual. He cries all the way through, but still keeps begging Steve to keep going until it's finished. Steve is horrified by feeling like a violator, but in the end it does seem to give Bucky some sort of twisted sense of catharsis.