(OP) Aw, I love these rollercoaster sex scenes. You emotional-whiplash me so good. I love their hot making-it-work sex and it was especially effective with the adorable banter (they're both such shits, especially Bucky with his "everyone'll believe that," omg I love them), and then -- well, I can't provide you with a series of emojis on here, but it would start with an angry face and end with crying. I feel bad for Bucky all the time, of course, but something about this fic makes me go POOR STEVE. Bucky's so guarded, and so ready to defend his fortifications, at the drop of a hat, with verbal acid -- okay I'm back to crying over him, there's something about characters who mess themselves up trying to protect themselves that gets me, this is such great characterization, but ANYWAY, STEVE -- and Steve just has no idea how to handle it.
I think it's really interesting character work; Steve has such willpower and he tends to bulldoze his way through problems, but he can't smash through the barbed wire surrounding Bucky without hurting him. It's the perfect terrible/great position to put him in. Steve just wants to talk it through and instead he keeps tripping Bucky's defense mechanisms. It's too sad to read about shit like Steve feeling dread the moment sex goes sideways, and Bucky kicking the door shut, and Steve sadly remembering affectionate snuggles, and falling asleep hugging something that smells like Bucky, like wtf? Why are you hurting my heart, I need it to live??
I will mention that I LOVE that Bucky feels dirty after sex. I am all about the complicated headspace you imply where he wants sex but sometimes it makes him feel the bad kind of nasty and it's tangled up with the interwoven aftereffects of his rapes and sometimes it seems like he wants to get those stories off his chest and other times he reacts like Steve is attacking him. It is so good. I love it so much.
Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 9/?
I think it's really interesting character work; Steve has such willpower and he tends to bulldoze his way through problems, but he can't smash through the barbed wire surrounding Bucky without hurting him. It's the perfect terrible/great position to put him in. Steve just wants to talk it through and instead he keeps tripping Bucky's defense mechanisms. It's too sad to read about shit like Steve feeling dread the moment sex goes sideways, and Bucky kicking the door shut, and Steve sadly remembering affectionate snuggles, and falling asleep hugging something that smells like Bucky, like wtf? Why are you hurting my heart, I need it to live??
I will mention that I LOVE that Bucky feels dirty after sex. I am all about the complicated headspace you imply where he wants sex but sometimes it makes him feel the bad kind of nasty and it's tangled up with the interwoven aftereffects of his rapes and sometimes it seems like he wants to get those stories off his chest and other times he reacts like Steve is attacking him. It is so good. I love it so much.