hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Holy shitballs, look at us go. Welcome to Captain America fandom's resident wretched hive of scum and villainy: ROUND THREE. AKA Bad Guys Do Dirtybadwrong Things To Your Faves, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Round 2] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by

greenkirtle)] [Round 3 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 3 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 4.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Thank you!

Thank you for this comment! And, um, you meant hugs from Benny, right? I promise that evil giggling you hear is totally not me writing the next chapter...

Ahhhh, thank you so much for this comment! <3 Yeah, I kinda imagine Benny as a less intense version of fragile-masculinity!Rumlow, who is totally not gay, Bucky's just so pretty and totally asking for it! He's also absolutely a predator, and is going to take as much advantage as he can of this situation.

I do have one question for you, though: I've ended up planning out two possible endings, one of which is very Stucky, and one of which is more vague/Bucky remains just pining. I'm leaning towards the Stucky ending, but if you have a preference I can go with the other one!

Yay, so glad this is back! I love all the detail and the intensity of the contrast between Bucky's incredibly well-adjusted outer life and miserable inner one. How, and why, he's terrified of being ignored. How he still gets off on praise and doesn't know how to handle it. How well he hides everything from Steve.

Oh Bucky! His anxiety is so palpable. I am both excited and terrified about where this is going to go. It's incredibly well written. Bucky, you are wonderful and you deserve nice things!

OP here: eee thank you. :D I'm camping out! And scoping out some other prompts to fill, in time...

THAT LAST LINE OMG. This is so, so beautifully written. Bucky's pleasure in being good and understanding of the inevitability of eventually slipping up and being not good is so painfully, intimately recognizable—seeing it teased out here with such clarity and compassion is cathartic! This story is a gift.

I just reread this fic and reminded myself how beautiful and utterly devastating it is. If there is ever more that would be awesome, but even what is here already is already such a gift to the dumpster.

(a!a) Thanks so much, that's lovely to hear! <3 A thousand apologies for the long delay. I do intend to return to this story, because I have more to say! :) Although I can't guarantee exactly when that will be - and although your kind comment suggests no such thing, lol sorry - I did want to take this chance to note that, despite the suspicious timing, the hiatus is not due to the commenter who objected to the characterization of Sam, or the ensuing discussion. I said what I needed to about that at the time, and have no bad feelings about it. In other words: I'm not sulking! ;) It's been a pleasure writing this story and chatting about it with the lovely readers, and I certainly don't intend to leave poor James unconscious in David's bed forever.

did nobody seriously fill this i'm tearing up help me

(da) That's so great to hear! This is really one of my favorite fills in all dumpsterdom and I'm so excited to see what happens next!

more different anon

omg that's so good to hear. Love you, a!a -- keep doing what you're doing!!

(And hey, it took Up Close Ache 22 months to update, so ... you're in good company! <3333)

OP here!

i continue to ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS.

the tension here is so palpable and terrifying, i can really sense how things are escalating for Bucky

i can't wait to see what's coming next. thank you so much for your wonderful writing!

dear author! i've just read the whole story and it's great and beautiful and devasteting, and i loved it so much! thank you so much for writing it. it literally made me cry. i hope that you won't left bucky and steve and sam in this dark place, and that they will somehow overcome all this. thank you once again anyway.

Rage festered in Bucky’s belly the next day, and the next. He pasted on smiles for Steve, but luckily Steve had picked up some hours over the weekend too, so the shaky quality of his mask got passed off as tiredness each night, or too much drink that he let Steve scold him for. He never thought he woulda been grateful for the dumb punk’s workaholic attitude towards his healthier days.

All too soon Monday rolled around again, which meant going back to work.

He nearly turned around and headed home three times on the way to the office. Without the money from work, though, he and Steve would have to move back in with his folks.

A missed day could mean a missed job. His boss probably wouldn’t bat an eye at giving his job to one of the dozen or more kids Bucky’s age who grew up into a shit economy and were willing to do anything for work. There were more jobs these days than there had been a few years ago, before the war in Europe started up, but Bucky didn't think he'd ever feel secure without at least a few months rent stashed away. With Steve's constant health problems, that wasn't happening any time soon.

If he lost his job, the next guy’d be someone less queer, probably, who wouldn’t be fooled by the pretty face of an animal like Benny. A guy who wouldn’t even notice Benny had a pretty face at all.

By the time he made it to the office, Bucky's shoulders had taken up permanent residence around his ears, his heart felt like it was trying to pound nails through his ribcage, and his shirt was starting to stick uncomfortably to his back and under his arms.

“Hey Bucky, get up to anything fun this weekend?”

Bucky whipped around and nearly slammed right into Benny’s chest. “Whoa there,” Benny said, eyes crinkled up in laughter. “Wouldn’t wanna go giving anyone else in the office the wrong idea now.”

Bucky jerked back, head turning like the ears of a frightened rabbit to scan the dingy brown hallway. The yellow lights overhead left no shadows, and all the rooms were empty this early in the morning. Bucky’d gotten to work earlier than anyone else in the building, and for nothing.

“Get the fuck away from me,” he meant to say, but the words got turned around somewhere between his head and his mouth. What came out instead was a disgustingly quiet, “What do you want?" Benny reached out a hand to run a finger over Bucky’s collar. He repressed a shudder, and his own sweat slick palms clenched into fists.

“I was just asking my friend about his weekend.”

Hysterical laughter nearly strangled any other response. “Friend?” he finally asked. He was proud that the word came out biting this time.

“Well yeah,” Benny said, still infuriatingly calm. “We’ve been friends for a while. Don’t tell me you’ve just been playing me this whole time?” He widened his eyes and frowned in an exaggerated pout. Bucky wanted to punch him. Bucky wanted to run. Bucky’s feet felt glued to the floor.

“This ain’t about that roommate of yours is it? Don’t tell me I got him mad at you. I’d hate to be the cause of trouble in paradise.”

Bucky flinched at the mention of Steve. Before he could think better of it, he was running his mouth like an absolute moron. “Steve wanted to invite you to dinner,” he said. The words rang in the air between them. He’d never wanted to cut off his own tongue so badly before.

xXx

Bucky spent the rest of the week almost hoping for Steve to catch one of his infamous colds so he could have an excuse to rescind Benny’s dinner invitation. He watched Steve like a hawk, brought him water and cold cloths at every cough and sniffle. By Thursday night, Steve snapped.

“I’m fine, Bucky!” Steve jerked away from the hand Bucky was using to take his temperature. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but I’d appreciate if you cut the mother hen act. It’s kinda freaking me out.”

Bucky’s ears burned red. “I’m just tryin’ ta look out for my best pal,” he said to the floor through gritted teeth. “But fine, I’ll back off.”

Soft footsteps signaled Steve’s approach. He was so short that even looking at the floor, Bucky could see most of him when he got up close in Bucky’s space. “If there’s something you want to talk about, Bucky, then talk to me. But don’t hover over me like I’m about to drop dead at any second. You know how much I hate that.” Bucky looked up to share a tentative grin with Steve, but his heart sunk right into his feet three seconds later. “Besides, your guy’s coming over tomorrow night for dinner, yeah? I was kinda hoping I could meet him properly without fighting with you.”

Bucky pasted an earnest look on his face. “If you want me to reschedule, I can,” he said, trying to keep the hope from his voice. “I have been worried about you; you’ve never gone this long without being sick before and Benny and I aren’t that serious, anyway. I wouldn’t want you to exhaust yourself trying to accommodate me bein’ a queer.”

“You jerk!” Steve said, but he was smiling. “If anyone’s gonna be “exhausting” themselves tomorrow, it’s you. You better not do it on our couch again, though!”

The thought of letting Benny fuck him again took all the fight out of Bucky. “Yeah,” he said, shoulders slumping forwards. “I won’t do that again.”

Steve frowned at him. “Good,” he said, but the playful mood was ruined.

Bucky spent the whole next day on edge, even got yelled at twice by his boss for messing up some numbers. By the time he got home, he was a nervous wreck and dead on his feet from dodging Benny all day. It had been such a pointless endeavor, too. Benny was going to be spending the entire evening with him and Steve. This dinner was the worst idea Bucky’d ever had. Worse than all of Steve’s bad ideas put together, even.

The smell of Mrs. Roger’s potato stew was thick in the air when a knock sounded at the door. “I’ve got it!” Bucky snapped, abandoning Steve by the stove to dive at the door. Benny stood on the other side, holding another bottle of whiskey and wearing an ugly smile. “Hi,” Bucky said, gripping the doorknob too tightly to stop his hands from shaking.

Benny grinned at him and raised one dark eyebrow. “Ain’t you gonna invite me in?”

Bucky forced his feet to step back. The cheap wood flooring squeaked under his heavy movements, painfully loud in his ears.

Benny followed after him easy and relaxed, like cigarette smoke clinging to his clothes. “Hi Steve,” Benny said, smiling over Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky resisted the urge to punch his shiny teeth in. “It’s nice to finally meet you properly. Bucky talks about you all the time.”

A blush made its way up Steve’s ears and down below his collar. “Um, why don’t you take your shoes off? Bucky can take your coat, and you can put the whiskey on the counter.” He pointed to the kitchen while shooting Bucky a reproachful look. Bucky swallowed down the desire to tell Benny where else he could shove his whiskey and grabbed the coat that was handed to him. The hook by the door nearly went through the cheap fabric, but Bucky gentled his hands at the last moment. Steve would never let him live down rampant destruction of a guest’s belongings.

“I ain’t ever been invited to dinner by a fella before,” Benny said, standing far too close to Steve in the kitchen. “It’s real nice of you, Steve, to be so understanding about Bucky and me.” Bucky grit his teeth and forced a smile onto his face. The whole apartment felt smaller than usual. The space that Steve and Bucky rattled around in with room to spare barely held in the presence of Benny, who loomed taller and broader than either of them.

“Steve’s a real good guy,” Bucky said.

“I can tell,” Benny said, with a much more genuine smile.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Are we gonna eat, or what?”

xXx

“How’d you two get together?” Steve asked later, putting his spoon down in an empty bowl.

Benny slung an arm around Bucky’s shoulder, smiling wide and easy. “Buck here’s a pretty unsubtle flirt, so I called ‘im on it,” Benny said. “He tried to deny it at first, real cute it was.” Benny squeezed Bucky’s shoulder; Bucky tried not to puke into his own still-full bowl of stew. “My momma didn’t raise a quitter, though, so I got him to admit he wanted me, and now here we are.”

A frown flashed across Steve’s face and was gone, quick enough Bucky might have imagined it. “That does sound like Bucky,” he said. “Obvious and oblivious at the same time.” Benny laughed.

The screech of wood on wood drew everyone’s attention as Bucky twisted out of Benny’s grip and stood. “Who wants whiskey?” he asked, already moving. “I’m gonna get some glasses.”

“Uh, sure, Buck,” Steve said, frowning. He missed the slap Benny laid on Bucky’s ass, but he didn’t miss the way Bucky jumped. His ears flushed red again.

“I’ll have some too,” Benny said, leering. Bucky wanted to take a bath.

A whiskey bath for his stomach would have to do. If he did end up puking, maybe Steve’d believe it was just the drink.

xXx

When Benny finally left, Steve waited about three seconds to start lecturing. “You feeling ok, pal?” He stood up on tiptoes to place a hand against Bucky’s forehead. “You’re a little clammy, but not feverish. Which is odd, cause you were being pretty rude all night. To your date.”

Bucky, bleary from whiskey and exhausted by the week, pulled away and refused to meet Steve’s eyes. He could still feel every piece of himself that Benny had touched, every place his hands had brushed possessively over Bucky's skin, the bruise from his elbow colliding with Bucky's side as he laughed at something Steve said, the memory of sticky slime his thighs had left where they'd been pressed to Bucky's on the couch. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said, slurring his words on purpose. “Just had a long week, I guess.” He shuffled towards their bedroom. “Was about to fall over right in my dinner all night. We can talk tomorrow if you want, but I’m beat.”

He could feel Steve’s eyes on his back. “You coulda told me if you weren’t feeling well, Buck,” Steve said. The lecturing tone grated at what remained of Bucky’s nerves. “We coulda rescheduled. You should apologize to Benny. You were a real jerk, and he seemed like he was tryin’ real hard to be friendly.”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, glad Steve couldn’t see his face. “Yeah, Steve,” he said. “I’ll see him at work on Monday. I’ll apologize then.”

This is fucking amazing.

This is utterly heart-rending. Bucky baby how long you gonna keep this up? :(

DDDDD:

And there's 3 more parts to this delicious torture?! Poor Bucky!

(:DDDDDD)

This continues to be amazing!! I love how *real* the anxiety feels. Poor Bucky baby. So glad to see you're still working on this!!

Holy shit. holy shit. I just found this and read the entire thing in one sitting and HOLY SHIT. You are amazing. Your characterizations and the way you build tension and just I am blown away. This is so fucking good.

:) :) ahhh thank you!!! i'm so happy to provide chest-bursting heart sensations/shrieking impulses/good death. steve is beyond in over his head and falling for bucky's Everything's Good act much more than he thinks he is.

thank you!!! steve is determined to give his weird sad knife-trick-loving husband the most entertaining knifeplay experience he can

thank you; i intend to eat these pained whale noises for breakfast tomorrow so that my desire and ability to effect pained whale noises in others will grow ever stronger

thank you!!

thank you so much!! happy to bless

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Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

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