Bucky basically just expects horrible things to happen to him post CATWS. He just expects Steve to rape him until he bleeds. He feels like the whole nice thing is an act. Hence why he's been trying to flee from Steve. So when he's finally caught by Steve and Sam, who unfortunately have to restrain him, he's trembling and just falls to his knees and waits for his punishment. Maybe he's tired and hungry and he just accepts that he'll be captured by Hydra or by the Avengers or someone eventually. So he gives in. But then Steve doesn't punish him. Sometimes the handlers would just let Bucky suffer his guilt at disappointing them. So he would get to the point where he would just break down and beg for his punishment.
And then Steve doesn't punish him, so Bucky is left to his own devices because he desperately needs it. True, he didn't kill Steve, but he almost did. Steve is now his handler and Bucky needs punishment or order will collapse.
+ Bucky tying a rubber band around his balls for a certain period of time. + Bucky filling himself with something big, only using the barest bit of lube so that he's still 'functional' but will be reminded of his failure. +Bucky choking himself with a belt in private. + Having an orgasm from his punishments and then feeling even worse because he didn't get permission to come and he's not supposed to enjoy punishments!!
++++ Steve finding out (OF COURSE). Preferably Bucky tearfully confessing his failures. Preferably in front of Sam also.
Bucky - trashy self punishment
He just expects Steve to rape him until he bleeds. He feels like the whole nice thing is an act. Hence why he's been trying to flee from Steve.
So when he's finally caught by Steve and Sam, who unfortunately have to restrain him, he's trembling and just falls to his knees and waits for his punishment.
Maybe he's tired and hungry and he just accepts that he'll be captured by Hydra or by the Avengers or someone eventually. So he gives in. But then Steve doesn't punish him.
Sometimes the handlers would just let Bucky suffer his guilt at disappointing them. So he would get to the point where he would just break down and beg for his punishment.
And then Steve doesn't punish him, so Bucky is left to his own devices because he desperately needs it. True, he didn't kill Steve, but he almost did. Steve is now his handler and Bucky needs punishment or order will collapse.
+ Bucky tying a rubber band around his balls for a certain period of time.
+ Bucky filling himself with something big, only using the barest bit of lube so that he's still 'functional' but will be reminded of his failure.
+Bucky choking himself with a belt in private.
+ Having an orgasm from his punishments and then feeling even worse because he didn't get permission to come and he's not supposed to enjoy punishments!!
++++ Steve finding out (OF COURSE). Preferably Bucky tearfully confessing his failures. Preferably in front of Sam also.