Steve has various ways of coping with stuff -- throwing himself into his work, running really fast around the mall, but I feel like a pretty major one is getting himself into dangerous situations where he might get hurt. So during Bucky's recovery -- he can't exactly do that with the same abandon, so he turns to various ways of self harm as a way of coping with the self-blame and anger that comes from whatever Hydra Horrors Bucky mentions, and also the stress of just trying to help Bucky.
Of course, with the super serum, any cuts heal pretty fast, but they can still be briefly painful. And maybe he breaks his finger bones before going to bed, and they're still healing and tender the next day, so he has to say he slept on his hands funny. (And during the next day's training he still insists on punching things super hard)
Just... Steve bleeding on himself because he doesn't want to bleed on other people, and all sort of unhealthy self-blame stuff.
+ Steve inflicting any pain on himself that HYDRA had inflicted on Bucky. A sort of self-castigation of sorts. Anything from whipping to stun batons to large dildos in his butt -- as long as Steve is feeling miserable and relishing every moment of it. Because it's Steve's fault that Bucky had to deal with it (because Steve didn't go back to find him.)
++ Hiding EVERYTHING from Bucky and making himself distant and wearing long sleeves and withholding touch from Bucky, at a time when Bucky really needs it.
+++ It all gets outed in a weirdly public way, like medical records going public showing waaay too many bone fractures, or a last-minute mission going south
++++ But at first people assume that it was cause he'd recently gotten captured by HYDRA, but Steve has to admit to his self harm, because in spite of everything, Steve takes responsibility for his actions.
Steve + Self Harm (during Bucky's recovery)
Of course, with the super serum, any cuts heal pretty fast, but they can still be briefly painful. And maybe he breaks his finger bones before going to bed, and they're still healing and tender the next day, so he has to say he slept on his hands funny. (And during the next day's training he still insists on punching things super hard)
Just... Steve bleeding on himself because he doesn't want to bleed on other people, and all sort of unhealthy self-blame stuff.
+ Steve inflicting any pain on himself that HYDRA had inflicted on Bucky. A sort of self-castigation of sorts. Anything from whipping to stun batons to large dildos in his butt -- as long as Steve is feeling miserable and relishing every moment of it. Because it's Steve's fault that Bucky had to deal with it (because Steve didn't go back to find him.)
++ Hiding EVERYTHING from Bucky and making himself distant and wearing long sleeves and withholding touch from Bucky, at a time when Bucky really needs it.
+++ It all gets outed in a weirdly public way, like medical records going public showing waaay too many bone fractures, or a last-minute mission going south
++++ But at first people assume that it was cause he'd recently gotten captured by HYDRA, but Steve has to admit to his self harm, because in spite of everything, Steve takes responsibility for his actions.