Steve was staring at Bucky's hand. "Explain to me again how you got this... er... upgrade?"
Bucky shrugged. "I was just chatting with Tony about this and that." It was hard to explain to Steve how chatting with Tony worked. They were ostensibly testing out Tony's new hack of the Howling Commandos video game. But somewhere between talking about weapons systems and the new Starbuck latte, they also ended up talking about sex and long term relationships. Somehow by the end of it Tony had gotten it into his head that Bucky was looking to spice up his sex life, and managed to convince Bucky that the upgrade would only take 5 minutes. It took eight.
Steve looked a bit skeptical. "And... how will this be different from all the other implements we tried?"
"Well, this is going to be *me*, much finer control, and much more powerful. I should be able to stimulate your prostate enough to jerk you off without interacting with your cock." And oh god Bucky wanted to be the one to make Steve orgasm. He remembered how sex worked, from before. The way the girl's legs would tense around his head, the way they would moan and twitch as he hit all the right spots in the right rhythm with his cock. The pleasure of bringing someone else to orgasm was almost as good as getting there himself --- and if it felt that good with the girls he was dating, Bucky wanted that tenfold with Steve.
Steve looked dubious. "And what about ejaculation? You'd still end up seeing or smelling it..."
Bucky smiled and pulled out a small vial. "Something I picked up from Clint -- temporarily blocks my sense of smell. I think maybe he wheedled it off of Bruce? Anyway, he uses it whenever he has to clean out his fridge. Lasts 30 minutes for him, so probably only 10 minutes for me. But it should be enough if we apply it at the right time."
Steve grinned. "Then what are we waiting for?"
They ended up opting for the bed this time. As they got ready, Bucky tried not to think of the box of failed sex implements under the bed, and instead concentrated on the mission: jerk Steve off.
After some maneuvering, they ended up with Steve lying face up and Bucky to the side. Steve discretely covered his cock with a blanket, and Bucky stayed in his jeans. They started with the usual kissing and grinding, which soon escalated to nips all along the torso, until finally Bucky slicked up his left hand and slipped it under the blanket. At the same time, Steve opened the vial and held it to Bucky's nose, and Bucky inhaled deeply. They were ready.
It was easy enough to find Steve's hole, and after a few gentle probes he pressed one finger all the way in. He knew he found the right spot when Steve suddenly arched and moaned into Bucky's neck. When Bucky turned his hand on, Steve's moans turned hurried, desperate. "Please, Bucky." Steve moaned. "Let me kiss you." Bucky leaned in and .... tasted nothing.
And that's when Bucky realized the horror of his situation: in order to be present for Steve's orgasm, he had to dull his senses so much that he might as well be in the other room. He couldn't even enjoy it.
When Steve came he shuddered and screamed into Bucky's shoulder. Bucky just pulled his finger out and held Steve close while he waited for his senses to come back. He tried to respond appropriately to Steve's eager kisses, but as Steve calmed down into nuzzling Bucky's shoulder, Bucky closed his eyes to stop the tears. This wasn't what he wanted.
By this point Bucky had resigned himself to not being able to bring himself to orgasm. Hydra took plenty of other things from him, and he'd long since decided that he'd rather work around those issues than dwell in self-pity. But he gave himself a small moment here. Was it really to much to want to experience orgasm with Steve? To truly be present for the pleasure and the touch? Did Hydra have to take that, too?
As if in answer, Bucky's senses suddenly came back full blast, and he had to hurry out of the room to avoid the smell of ejaculate hanging in the air. He took some extra time drinking water in the kitchen and composing himself, so by the time he returned, Steve was all cleaned up and sitting nervously on the bed. "Bucky? Was that ...? Did that work for you?"
Bucky sat down heavily on the bed and thought about what Tony said that afternoon about things you keep from your partner. Then he thought back to what Steve had said at the beginning of this endeavor: relationships, and sex, required honesty. "No. Not exactly. I wanted to feel you, Steve. But with all these extra layers ... I couldn't. Not properly." He couldn't bear to look at Steve -- they'd both been trying so hard.
Steve moved to the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Bucky, and Bucky leaned gratefully into it. This, he could feel. At least he had this. He wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore. He had friends. He had Steve. Things are generally all right. After a moment, he remembered to say, "At least you came pretty hard -- so that worked."
"Well, yes." Steve shrugged. "But it was mostly physical. If you aren't enjoying it, it doesn't really do it for me."
Bucky sighed and looked at his hand. "Well, I can't really put this in the failed sex toy box...."
Steve took Bucky's hand and examined it, then suddenly perked up. "Bet you can make a mean smoothie with that." He leapt up from the bed and started pulling Bucky toward the kitchen. "Come on, let's try it out. I'll chop up some bananas. You should wash it first, though."
Bucky smiled at the welcome distraction. "What, you *don't* want shit in your smoothie?" Make lemonade out of lemons. Right.
Fill: Horizontal Tango [4/6] Re: The sex is just never going to be okay (but Bucky sort of is)
Bucky shrugged. "I was just chatting with Tony about this and that." It was hard to explain to Steve how chatting with Tony worked. They were ostensibly testing out Tony's new hack of the Howling Commandos video game. But somewhere between talking about weapons systems and the new Starbuck latte, they also ended up talking about sex and long term relationships. Somehow by the end of it Tony had gotten it into his head that Bucky was looking to spice up his sex life, and managed to convince Bucky that the upgrade would only take 5 minutes. It took eight.
Steve looked a bit skeptical. "And... how will this be different from all the other implements we tried?"
"Well, this is going to be *me*, much finer control, and much more powerful. I should be able to stimulate your prostate enough to jerk you off without interacting with your cock." And oh god Bucky wanted to be the one to make Steve orgasm. He remembered how sex worked, from before. The way the girl's legs would tense around his head, the way they would moan and twitch as he hit all the right spots in the right rhythm with his cock. The pleasure of bringing someone else to orgasm was almost as good as getting there himself --- and if it felt that good with the girls he was dating, Bucky wanted that tenfold with Steve.
Steve looked dubious. "And what about ejaculation? You'd still end up seeing or smelling it..."
Bucky smiled and pulled out a small vial. "Something I picked up from Clint -- temporarily blocks my sense of smell. I think maybe he wheedled it off of Bruce? Anyway, he uses it whenever he has to clean out his fridge. Lasts 30 minutes for him, so probably only 10 minutes for me. But it should be enough if we apply it at the right time."
Steve grinned. "Then what are we waiting for?"
They ended up opting for the bed this time. As they got ready, Bucky tried not to think of the box of failed sex implements under the bed, and instead concentrated on the mission: jerk Steve off.
After some maneuvering, they ended up with Steve lying face up and Bucky to the side. Steve discretely covered his cock with a blanket, and Bucky stayed in his jeans. They started with the usual kissing and grinding, which soon escalated to nips all along the torso, until finally Bucky slicked up his left hand and slipped it under the blanket. At the same time, Steve opened the vial and held it to Bucky's nose, and Bucky inhaled deeply. They were ready.
It was easy enough to find Steve's hole, and after a few gentle probes he pressed one finger all the way in. He knew he found the right spot when Steve suddenly arched and moaned into Bucky's neck. When Bucky turned his hand on, Steve's moans turned hurried, desperate. "Please, Bucky." Steve moaned. "Let me kiss you." Bucky leaned in and .... tasted nothing.
And that's when Bucky realized the horror of his situation: in order to be present for Steve's orgasm, he had to dull his senses so much that he might as well be in the other room. He couldn't even enjoy it.
When Steve came he shuddered and screamed into Bucky's shoulder. Bucky just pulled his finger out and held Steve close while he waited for his senses to come back. He tried to respond appropriately to Steve's eager kisses, but as Steve calmed down into nuzzling Bucky's shoulder, Bucky closed his eyes to stop the tears. This wasn't what he wanted.
By this point Bucky had resigned himself to not being able to bring himself to orgasm. Hydra took plenty of other things from him, and he'd long since decided that he'd rather work around those issues than dwell in self-pity. But he gave himself a small moment here. Was it really to much to want to experience orgasm with Steve? To truly be present for the pleasure and the touch? Did Hydra have to take that, too?
As if in answer, Bucky's senses suddenly came back full blast, and he had to hurry out of the room to avoid the smell of ejaculate hanging in the air. He took some extra time drinking water in the kitchen and composing himself, so by the time he returned, Steve was all cleaned up and sitting nervously on the bed. "Bucky? Was that ...? Did that work for you?"
Bucky sat down heavily on the bed and thought about what Tony said that afternoon about things you keep from your partner. Then he thought back to what Steve had said at the beginning of this endeavor: relationships, and sex, required honesty. "No. Not exactly. I wanted to feel you, Steve. But with all these extra layers ... I couldn't. Not properly." He couldn't bear to look at Steve -- they'd both been trying so hard.
Steve moved to the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Bucky, and Bucky leaned gratefully into it. This, he could feel. At least he had this. He wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore. He had friends. He had Steve. Things are generally all right. After a moment, he remembered to say, "At least you came pretty hard -- so that worked."
"Well, yes." Steve shrugged. "But it was mostly physical. If you aren't enjoying it, it doesn't really do it for me."
Bucky sighed and looked at his hand. "Well, I can't really put this in the failed sex toy box...."
Steve took Bucky's hand and examined it, then suddenly perked up. "Bet you can make a mean smoothie with that." He leapt up from the bed and started pulling Bucky toward the kitchen. "Come on, let's try it out. I'll chop up some bananas. You should wash it first, though."
Bucky smiled at the welcome distraction. "What, you *don't* want shit in your smoothie?" Make lemonade out of lemons. Right.