(OP) I feel so bad for Steve in this chapter. This is such painful stuff to be privy to, and the way he's hearing it makes it so much worse. He has to worry about Bucky's obvious agony and about Natasha's and Natasha didn't even give him permission to know this, so it must be so difficult for Steve all around, and he's still being so great. I love your description of him squaring up to the challenge while comforting Bucky.
The memories Bucky details are absolutely horrible and also absolutely in line with my trash passion for Bucky being dehumanized and belittled during his rapes, like his impression that for some of the men he was just a possibly-distasteful object to relieve their boredom on. Wonderful! I love how Steve accidentally reinforces that, and that, even when he's being so good about shifting the blame away from "Natasha," Bucky has difficulty accepting it. Because he sees Natasha as a hero, and he can't see himself that way.
Also Bucky's disgust with himself for crying in the past -- and then he ends up crying in the present day. So good <3
Re: Fill: Giving the Blame (4/?)
The memories Bucky details are absolutely horrible and also absolutely in line with my trash passion for Bucky being dehumanized and belittled during his rapes, like his impression that for some of the men he was just a possibly-distasteful object to relieve their boredom on. Wonderful! I love how Steve accidentally reinforces that, and that, even when he's being so good about shifting the blame away from "Natasha," Bucky has difficulty accepting it. Because he sees Natasha as a hero, and he can't see himself that way.
Also Bucky's disgust with himself for crying in the past -- and then he ends up crying in the present day. So good <3