Bucky waited for a moment, feeling a little sick. He thought about running away, but he knew that wouldn't work. Steve knew now that he had lied, and he was going to be in trouble.

He could have run away. He could slip away before Steve found him. He could ... delay the inevitable for a few minutes, maybe a few hours. And then it would end. And any hope that had happened before was gone. He'd ruined it. He'd lied, and now Steve knew he'd lied.

Feeling like the room was shaking, he cleared his throat, and Steve turned towards him. Steve's expression was furious, his lips pressed together in thin lines, and he stared at him.
"Get out." He said, his voice soft. It felt like a punch to the gut.

Bucky turned and walked out of the room. He felt dizzy, and he curled up in the corridor outside, trying to form a plan. This felt just like it was when he had been too long without going into the ice. His mind was confused, and he wasn't sure what to say now. He'd ruined it all. Steve wouldn't want to touch him any more.

"Barnes." Something clinked down beside him, and he looked to see a glass of water there. Romanoff had come to sit beside him, and he turned to face her. "What were you thinking?"
"That it'd be easier." He admitted. "That I could tell him-"
"You have to tell him the truth." Natasha rested her hand on his arm. "All of it. And don't you ever, ever, use my life to tell your stories, you understand?"

Bucky nodded, his insides feeling twisted. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Natasha was right.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"Prove it." She told him. "Fix this." She stood up and walked away, and Bucky leaned his head back against the wall.

There was no way forwards with this, but there wasn't a way back either. He had to do this. He made himself stand, making his way over to the door and knocking. He took a breath, and then another, feeling like he was going to throw up but knowing that this was his only choice now.

"Steve?" He called out. "Can I come in?"
For a few seconds there was no reply, and his heart hammered in his chest. He was worried he wouldn't even get a chance to explain. But then he heard the door open, and Bucky looked up to see Steve standing there, his eyes cold and angry.
"Come in Bucky."

Bucky walked in, his head bowed. He was shaking a little, feeling sick, terrified. He had ruined it all. It had been meant to make things easier, but this wasn't easier. This was worse.

"Why would you like about something like that?" Steve asked, frowning. "Why... Why did you lie?"
"I... I wasn't thinking." Bucky whispered. "I can never... never...I wanted to see how you'd respond."
"You were testing me." Steve said coldly. "You were testing me, and you decided to hurt Natasha to do it. That... you disgust me."

Bucky flinched at that, knowing that Steve had every right to say what he had done. He swallowed, trying to find words, but there was nothing good enough that he could say.

"You..." Steve took a deep breath. "You have to tell me something. One question, and I want you to answer me honestly. Will you do that for me Bucky?"
Bucky nodded, and Steve looked into his eyes.

"What did she mean, when she said you were told to practice with her?"

The question hung in the air between them for a few moments, with Bucky realising that there was nothing he could say to hide what he had done, no way he could erase his sins.
"The Soviets asked us to have sex together. They were curious as to whether or not I was capable. And... we had sex. Once, under orders-"
"You raped her." Steve said softly. "You raped her on their orders."

Bucky swallowed and nodded his head.
"I did." He agreed. "I did it because we were under orders..."

Steve nodded slowly, averting his eyes.
"I understand. I think... maybe you should stay somewhere else tonight Bucky."
"Yes." Bucky whispered. "I think you're right." This was his worst fear come to life, but he knew that he deserved it. He turned his back, heading towards the door. He was exhausted, feeling like he had been beaten. His head spun.

"Bucky... James." Steve called him back, and he turned, looking over his shoulder.
"Yes?"
"Why... why did you lie about all this... Why did you make this up?"

Bucky knew there was no reasonable answer he could give to that, so he turned and walked away in silence.

"Sergeant Barnes?" Jarvis called from the ceiling. "I can prepare one of the spare bedrooms for you."
"Thanks." Bucky stumbled his way down the stairs, and made his way to the room Jarvis had selected. He stripped and stood under the shower, trying to turn the water up as hot as he possibly could. He felt dirty. He'd lied, and now he'd lost Natasha and Steve. Everyone he cared about, and he closed them off.

He shuddered, wrapping his arms around him. He felt bile rising in his throat. It was burning his skin, and he felt like collapsing. He tried to blink back his tears. He had no right to cry. Not after everything he had done.
"Sergeant Barnes?" Jarvis called down from the ceiling. "Captain Rogers is outside. He is requesting a meeting with you."

Bucky fought back the urge to retch.
"Let him in." He turned the water off, fumbling for the towel and wrapping it around himself. He felt naked, dirty, and he made his way to the door, resting his forehead against the wood for a moment, taking slow deep breaths.