Bucky arrives home in a rush. He calls out Steve’s name—no answer. Then he runs up to Steve’s room. He can hear something beeping, the quiet, calm voice of the AI that manages in the tower, but he ignores it.
Steve has told him enough times that if he ever has an emergency, Bucky should come straight to him. No matter what the circumstances, if Bucky is ever really upset, Steve wants to know.
And this is pretty much as upset as he can remember being.
He’s questioned a lot of his memories. He’s had to, given the fact that he can’t trust his own mind, that seventy years for him went by in a haze of false memories and conditioned apathy, but he never questioned that he could have hurt Steve.
It’s not like Bucky thinks he’s a good person. He knows he’s a bad man, a murderer. But he’d never touched anyone like that, he’s sure of it.
He thought he was sure of it.
He finds Steve’s door closed and locked. When he knocks, there’s no answer. So he does the only thing he can think of to do. With his metal arm, he reaches out and rips the door cleanly off its hinges so he can step into the room.
He stares in blank confusion into the room. What he’s seeing doesn’t make any sense.
Steve is kneeling in the middle of the room. His arms have been deactivated (that can’t be right, Steve is real, his arms can’t be turned off. His arms have been bound somehow, though, behind his back.) Stark is behind him, fucking him, while Banner uses his mouth. The Widow is standing too close to him, while the rest of the team watches, visibly erect, turned on, waiting for their turn with him.
Bucky knows what this is. The memory of it is in every cell of his body.
The Avengers are having a party, and Steve is the favor.
It doesn’t make any sense. Steve is a person—not an asset, a thing, a fucktoy. He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, especially not when Bucky has been spared this kind of use since he found Steve again.
But Bucky doesn’t have time to think about why this is happening. The possibilities run lightning-fast through his mind. Maybe he’s been physically subdued. Unlikely, given his enhanced strength, but Bucky knows too well that even a super-soldier can be beaten into submission. Maybe he, too, has been implanted with codewords, trigger phrases that make him a helpless prisoner in his own mind. Maybe they’ve simply blackmailed him, threatening an innocent civilian in order to ensure his compliance.
And he does look compliant there. He’s not struggling at all, but rather actively participating, sucking Banner’s cock further into his mouth, forced to be complicit in his own humiliation.
This was never supposed to happen to Steve, sweet good Steve, who never deserved to be hurt like this.
How many times has this happened to him before? How many times has he been used like this, without Bucky even knowing?
No wonder he was so understanding when Bucky finally spoke of his own rapes. No wonder he wasn’t disgusted the way Bucky expected him to be. He knows what it’s like to be helpless like this—and Bucky never saw.
But he can’t just stand around worrying about this. All these thoughts have raced through his head in a few mere moments, and now it’s time to act.
First possibility: physical force. He can’t count on Steve to be able to fight at all. Indeed, if he’s been brainwashed, it’s possible Bucky might have to fight Steve himself to get to the others, or even that Steve has been conditioned to hurt himself if they’re interrupted. Ruling that plan out.
Second possibility: plea for mercy. Ludicrous, it’s never worked before and it won’t in the future. He thought that some members of the team, Falcon in particular, were becoming friends and allies, but obviously that’s untrue. They’re all here hurting Steve. Dismissed.
Third possibility: allow this to go on, and take revenge later. It’s a very neat plan, but he doesn’t have the capability to walk away and let them hurt Steve. It’s what the Soldier would do, but Bucky can’t do it.
Fourth, and the only possibility that makes any sense. He steps into the room. He deactivates his arm so they’ll know he comes in peace, letting it whir helplessly to his side. He bows his head.
And he speaks.
“Let Steve go. Take me instead.”
He’s relieved to see that at once they’re letting Steve go—no, they’re not, because Stark is still holding onto him tight so he can’t escape, but they’re not fucking him anymore. They’re listening.
“Bucky, listen to me,” the Widow begins, but he can’t stop.
He wants to obey orders, he knows that will please them, but first he has to explain. “He isn’t trained for this. Conditioned for it. Not like I am. Whatever he’s doing for you, I’ll do it better, a thousand times better. I have a lot of experience with—whatever you like. I promise. I’ll do it so well.”
They keep trying to talk over him but he won’t let them, he can’t let them. This is his chance. He’s never had to do this before. They’ve made him beg for it in the moment, but he’s never had to convince handlers to use him before. But he’ll do it.
For Steve, he’ll do it. “You can’t do to him what you can do to me. He’s your Captain, he needs to be out in the field. I don’t. I can just be your toy. You can use me any way you want to, and I’ll do anything you want. If you want me to fight I’ll give you just as good a fight as he could. If you want me submissive I’ll do that. You can cut me open and I won’t fight you only please, you have to let Stevie go. He doesn’t deserve this. You don’t understand. He’s good, he’s not like me. I’m made for this. Let me trade places with him. Please.”
places [4/5]
Steve has told him enough times that if he ever has an emergency, Bucky should come straight to him. No matter what the circumstances, if Bucky is ever really upset, Steve wants to know.
And this is pretty much as upset as he can remember being.
He’s questioned a lot of his memories. He’s had to, given the fact that he can’t trust his own mind, that seventy years for him went by in a haze of false memories and conditioned apathy, but he never questioned that he could have hurt Steve.
It’s not like Bucky thinks he’s a good person. He knows he’s a bad man, a murderer. But he’d never touched anyone like that, he’s sure of it.
He thought he was sure of it.
He finds Steve’s door closed and locked. When he knocks, there’s no answer. So he does the only thing he can think of to do. With his metal arm, he reaches out and rips the door cleanly off its hinges so he can step into the room.
He stares in blank confusion into the room. What he’s seeing doesn’t make any sense.
Steve is kneeling in the middle of the room. His arms have been deactivated (that can’t be right, Steve is real, his arms can’t be turned off. His arms have been bound somehow, though, behind his back.) Stark is behind him, fucking him, while Banner uses his mouth. The Widow is standing too close to him, while the rest of the team watches, visibly erect, turned on, waiting for their turn with him.
Bucky knows what this is. The memory of it is in every cell of his body.
The Avengers are having a party, and Steve is the favor.
It doesn’t make any sense. Steve is a person—not an asset, a thing, a fucktoy. He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, especially not when Bucky has been spared this kind of use since he found Steve again.
But Bucky doesn’t have time to think about why this is happening. The possibilities run lightning-fast through his mind. Maybe he’s been physically subdued. Unlikely, given his enhanced strength, but Bucky knows too well that even a super-soldier can be beaten into submission. Maybe he, too, has been implanted with codewords, trigger phrases that make him a helpless prisoner in his own mind. Maybe they’ve simply blackmailed him, threatening an innocent civilian in order to ensure his compliance.
And he does look compliant there. He’s not struggling at all, but rather actively participating, sucking Banner’s cock further into his mouth, forced to be complicit in his own humiliation.
This was never supposed to happen to Steve, sweet good Steve, who never deserved to be hurt like this.
How many times has this happened to him before? How many times has he been used like this, without Bucky even knowing?
No wonder he was so understanding when Bucky finally spoke of his own rapes. No wonder he wasn’t disgusted the way Bucky expected him to be. He knows what it’s like to be helpless like this—and Bucky never saw.
But he can’t just stand around worrying about this. All these thoughts have raced through his head in a few mere moments, and now it’s time to act.
First possibility: physical force. He can’t count on Steve to be able to fight at all. Indeed, if he’s been brainwashed, it’s possible Bucky might have to fight Steve himself to get to the others, or even that Steve has been conditioned to hurt himself if they’re interrupted. Ruling that plan out.
Second possibility: plea for mercy. Ludicrous, it’s never worked before and it won’t in the future. He thought that some members of the team, Falcon in particular, were becoming friends and allies, but obviously that’s untrue. They’re all here hurting Steve. Dismissed.
Third possibility: allow this to go on, and take revenge later. It’s a very neat plan, but he doesn’t have the capability to walk away and let them hurt Steve. It’s what the Soldier would do, but Bucky can’t do it.
Fourth, and the only possibility that makes any sense. He steps into the room. He deactivates his arm so they’ll know he comes in peace, letting it whir helplessly to his side. He bows his head.
And he speaks.
“Let Steve go. Take me instead.”
He’s relieved to see that at once they’re letting Steve go—no, they’re not, because Stark is still holding onto him tight so he can’t escape, but they’re not fucking him anymore. They’re listening.
“Bucky, listen to me,” the Widow begins, but he can’t stop.
He wants to obey orders, he knows that will please them, but first he has to explain. “He isn’t trained for this. Conditioned for it. Not like I am. Whatever he’s doing for you, I’ll do it better, a thousand times better. I have a lot of experience with—whatever you like. I promise. I’ll do it so well.”
They keep trying to talk over him but he won’t let them, he can’t let them. This is his chance. He’s never had to do this before. They’ve made him beg for it in the moment, but he’s never had to convince handlers to use him before. But he’ll do it.
For Steve, he’ll do it. “You can’t do to him what you can do to me. He’s your Captain, he needs to be out in the field. I don’t. I can just be your toy. You can use me any way you want to, and I’ll do anything you want. If you want me to fight I’ll give you just as good a fight as he could. If you want me submissive I’ll do that. You can cut me open and I won’t fight you only please, you have to let Stevie go. He doesn’t deserve this. You don’t understand. He’s good, he’s not like me. I’m made for this. Let me trade places with him. Please.”