Post-civil war, Bucky has more or less processed his trash past. He hasn't opened up about it to anyone, but he remembers them and knows it wasn't his fault. But many nights, he'll wake up from a very vivid dream of being raped by some faceless stranger his brain concocted with a raging hard on. Maybe he's even cum in his sleep from it and he's so embarrassed by it and he thinks there must be something wrong with him

If he's seeing someone, he doesn't know how to tell them about this, or whether or not he wants to, but he's paranoid they'll find out anyway and think he's messed up

***if when he's masturbating, whatever fantasy is playing in his head eventually turns into a rape fantasy - cue more shameboners