Despite all Steve’s best intentions, he went rigid as soon as Bucky closed the cuffs over his wrists and forearms again.

“Shhh, I got you,” Bucky murmured. “And you’re not goin’ anyplace I don’t want.”

Flexing against the magnetic cuffs, Steve tested the restraints again before sagging into them in relief. “You have me,” he confirmed and let himself sway on his feet.

“What do you say if you want me to stop?” Bucky demanded.

Immediately, Steve got his feet under himself to take his weight. “Please,” Steve said. The cuffs opened. Steve didn’t move.

“Good,” said Bucky, reaching up to close them one-handed. They locked automatically. “That’s right.”

Steve shivered.

“I’m gonna do what I want with you,” Bucky reminded him, ghosting a hand up Steve’s bare abdominals. He chuckled when Steve jumped at the cool metal. “You’re gonna let me.”

At Steve’s nod, Bucky dropped back to his knees and picked up his paper again. “Are you gonna get hard for me, Stevie?” He looked up with that new smile when Steve’s cock twitched in answer. “I like seeing the proof of your desire. I’ve coaxed plenty of reluctant stiffies out of men who were bored or scared or disgusted.”

Thankfully, Bucky ignored Steve’s unhappy exhalation. (Don’t worry about getting it up. That’s the asset’s problem.) Steve did his best to force down the confused swirl of shame and gratitude.

“Being looked at like a man who can give a lover something they really want is more of a Bucky-thing and I want that. The asset is good for a lot of things, but it’s not a man.”

It was hard to guess what the best response to that would be. Fortunately, Steve had a good reason not to say anything. He gritted his teeth and stayed silent. They could talk about it later.

“You should know exactly how long I’ve been waiting to get my mouth on you for real,” Bucky breathed as he rubbed the top of his nose against the underside of the length of Steve’s growing erection, making Steve jerk involuntarily. “First time I went down on a girl, I wished I could do it with you too. Didn’ know how it would work, but I wanted t’ try it with you. I always thought, if our lives were different, maybe… And here we are.” His cheek brushed the head of Steve’s cock as he nuzzled Steve again.

“Here we are,” Steve gasped, only realizing he’d repeated it aloud when Bucky laughed in pleased surprise.

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed. “So now after seventy-something years I’m gonna try it.” He kissed the tip, making Steve’s entire body jerk, and grinned up at him. “We’re gonna try it.”

With that, he tossed the paper aside and swallowed Steve down.

Or tried to.

“Really?” he sputtered, once he’d pulled off and regained control of his breathing. “I’ve done this about a million times. I’ve sucked your cock prob’ly fifty or a hundred times. What the hell?”

“Oh,” blurted Steve, still working on his own breathing.

Bucky glared up at him in half-hearted dismay. “Okay. What?”

A wide incredulous relieved smile broke across Steve’s face. They could do this. It would be okay. The asset Steve had known before wouldn’t have struggled. Maybe Bucky was healing enough that they could do this without HYDRA hanging over them every moment. Even if he was furious about it, at least they could have their awkward first times again.

“Maybe you’ve lost your muscle memory of this,” Steve told him, unable to stop beaming. “You’re out of practice.”

As predicted, Bucky scowled and huffed out, “I earned those skills, Steve. They are not rusted.” He sat back on his heels and glared at Steve’s dick like it was calling him out.

Steve shrugged as well as he could while hanging from the cuffs. “Yes, Buck.”

“And don’t smile like that,” Bucky snapped.

A distant stinging sensation and the sudden tang of blood made Steve realize he was biting into the inside of his cheek.

“Fuck it,” muttered Bucky. “I’m prob’lly overthinking it.” With that, he dove right back in and this time didn’t seem to have any intention of coming up for air.

“Ah,” Steve gasped. “Buh… Bucky” He wished he had a hand free so he could set his teeth against his fist or the back of a wrist. “Fuuuuck.” Nothing but hands on his dick for months and now Bucky’s mouth was on him and he couldn’t stay quiet. Had Bucky been practicing somehow? He had to be even better than before.

It was more than a little ironic that Bucky putting himself on his knees made Steve helpless in ways that had nothing to do with Steve being strung up from the ceiling.

Bucky pulled off with an exaggerated wet pop, shuddered all over, and shuffled forward to press his forehead to Steve’s inner thigh.

Steve bit back a whine.

“I changed my mind,” Bucky mumbled. “Make all the noise you like. Jus’ lemme know it’s you.”

“Bucky,” Steve said immediately. “Bucky. Okay there, pal?”

Long hair tickled his sensitive wet genitals as Bucky shook his head. “Stevie?”

“Yeah, Buck. What do you need?”

“I don’t want it like this.”

“Okay, Buck.” Steve slowed his pulse the best he could. Steve’s erection sure wasn’t getting the message. “Anything you want, you got it.”

They sat there for a minute or so. He wondered if Bucky was as hard and uncomfortable, but wasn’t sure what he hoped. He could look down and try to determine what was going on under Bucky’s pants, but the fact that Bucky was still wearing them was a damn good hint Bucky didn’t want him to do that. Bucky didn’t have to get off just because he wanted to get Steve off. If he even wanted to get Steve off.

Eventually, Bucky said, “Can’t we try it the other way? Tell me something you don’t want.”

Well, that finally had an effect on his errant anatomy. This conversation. He didn’t say it, but Bucky didn’t let him get away with silence either.

“No, Steve. Fair’s fair. Tell me something you don’t want to do with me.”

More than a little worried about what fair’s fair meant in this context, Steve answered with something he really didn’t want, but knew he could deal with if Bucky needed to prove a point. “Shower sex. I don’t want shower sex. Never again.”

“Okay. I was kinda lookin’ forward to it, though, not gonna lie. Kinda reassuring to see everyone else naked.”

Steve flexed his hands in the cuffs. Jesus. Everyone else? Did Bucky think that was an actual possibility now?

“I can’t do it, Buck.”

Cheekbones pressed to Steve’s knee, Bucky sighed. “Fine.” There was another silence. “Keep talking,” Bucky reminded him.

“What don’t you want?”

Bucky said nothing.

“Fair’s fair?”

“Fuck you, Rogers.”

Unable to help himself, Steve snickered. “Damn. I was kinda lookin’ forward to it, though.”

“You’re a goddamn punk.”

“I thought we just took that off the table?”

Bucky glared.

“Yeah, okay. Seriously, though. How do I not hurt you again?”

Bucky ducked his head so his hair fell over his face and mumbled something quiet and muffled enough he had to know even Steve’s hearing couldn’t pick it up.

“What?”

“I said don’t share me. Ever. With anyone. Even if I…” Hesitating, he pressed his face higher into Steve’s thigh. “Even if I offer.”

Bucky might never be able to stop testing him.

“I’ve never wanted to share you with anyone,“ Steve said, but then realized it wasn’t true strictly true. “Well, Peggy, maybe. But that was just a fantasy.”

“I still like women. That okay?”

“Yeah, of course. So do I.”

“You’re not worried I can’t be loyal?”

Laughter punched itself out of Steve’s chest. “Bucky, you’re the most loyal person I’ve ever known and that’s an evil stereotype anyway. I don’t want anything you don’t want to give me, though. You’re not my possession.”

“What if I need to be? At least a little.”

“You can be mine without being a thing I gotta keep under control.”

Bucky sat back on his heels and smirked up at him. “Can we agree to believe that? No take-backs.”

“Sure thing, pal.”

There was a beat of awkward stillness until Steve shifted on his feet, trying to settle his body again.

“Right then,” Bucky said. “Back to the suck job, but I need you to keep talking. Shouldn’ be a problem. Time was, I couldn’t stop you from running your mouth if I tried.”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut at the first touch of lips and tongue. “Yeah,” he grit out. “I don’t know what even happened.”

No reply. Bucky had his hands on Steve’s hips as he pressed forward. The head of Steve’s dick brushed Bucky’s tonsils. Steve shouted and turned his head as much as he could to muffle the cry in his bare shoulder before he remembered. “Bucky. Bucky. Puh- Fuck. Bucky.”

Bucky pushed his hips away, backing off to take him more shallowly. Barely more than the head was inside now and Bucky’s efforts became slower as he licked and sucked at it. The motions were completely unlike anything he had done to Steve before, graceless and sloppy in a way that felt both right and wrong.

The asset didn’t touch him like this. It wouldn’t control his movement. It always did its best.

A rush of overwhelming fondness and gratitude left Steve breathless in a way he could fight even less than the pleasure. “Bucky. You’re so…” he choked out. “I love you. Thank you. I love you,” he babbled.

This was the asset. Bucky was the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier was Bucky. Everything was deliberate, calculated for maximum effect. The target was Steve’s emotions instead of his body. Bucky was really really good at hitting targets. Steve wished he knew more Russian endearments. Endearments he could be certain lacked any bad associations. Endearments he could use to prove his love for all of his most important person.

To his embarrassment, he only realized he had said that part when Bucky laughed at him a little. He didn’t pause or pull off, so the vibrations went straight to Steve’s aching balls.

The skin-warmed metal of Bucky’s left hand came away from the hip it was holding back and wrapped around the exposed section of Steve’s cock. He looked down to watch Bucky’s metal hand jerking him off more roughly than an unenhanced man could probably enjoy.

“C’mon,” Bucky said thickly, pulling back for only a second. “Come whenever you’re ready, Stevie. Not gonna make you wait.” The metal grip of his hand stroked over Steve’s entire length, once, twice, again, and then let go to return to Steve’s hip. Bucky inhaled and then caught the tip of Steve’s cock on his tongue and swallowed him all the way down in a single smooth movement.

“Christ. Fuck, Bucky. You’re so. Fucking. Incredible. Bucky,” Steve more whimpered than said. There was nothing fumbling about this now and there couldn’t be anything awkward either.

Bucky pulled Steve’s orgasm out of him like he’d been holding it on a string all along. It blindsided Steve. His legs gave out.

“Bucky,” he breathed. Ignoring the ache that had grown in his muscles, he hung limply from the cuffs and let his head roll on his neck. “Bucky.”

 

“HYDRA happened,” Bucky said later, once he’d freed Steve’s pliant form and carried him to bed. Waiting for him was a damp handtowel long since gone cold, but that was fine. Going anywhere near the bathroom would have ruined all sense of comfort. “Might always be in bed with us. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Steve mumbled into Bucky’s shirt. “M’sorry.”

“Shut the fuck up, Steven Grant,” Bucky sighed. “That wasn’t what I meant.”

“Still sorry.”

“Stop saying that or I’ll have to add sorry to the list.”

Steve chuckled weakly and tried not to burst into tears. “I don’t deserve you.” He hid his burning eyes against Bucky’s clothed chest and tried to even his breathing.

They lay quietly together for a long time.

 

“Hey, Steve?”

With great effort, he lifted his head and hummed to indicate his attention.

“That part at the beginning when I fucked up sucking you?”

“Mm,” said Steve.

“You know I was fakin’ it, right? I never lose skills. Lost. Never lost.”

“Sure, lover-mine,” said Steve, vaguely attempting to merge his cheek with Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky made a noise of disgruntlement. “I’m not sure I like that.”

“Huh?” He had to unstick his thoughts from Bucky’s skin. “I really do get what... Oh. Shit. Sorry. Too possessive?”

“What did I say ‘bout sorry, Steve? Lover. It’s not the right word.”

“Hmm?” Steve reluctantly propped himself up. “Better idea?”

“Haven’t I always been your partner?”

That didn’t take any brain power to answer. “Partner, then.” He groped for Bucky’s nearest hand and brought it to his lips to kiss the knuckles. He held it between them instead of releasing it. It was the metal one, but Bucky didn’t seem to mind.

A minute later, Bucky ventured, “Was it good for you? Do you want to do more?”

Steve snorted. “Always, Buck.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Steve squeezed his hand and kissed him, soft and gentle, but not tentative.

“So, what haven’t you done that you still want to do? I mean, you were pitcher, not catcher, right?”