Title [if applicable]:BARFing Out Hurt Pairing: Fairly Stucky but could be seen as one sided love Completion status: WIP Text of prompt:Bucky (due to prompting by Steve/his therapist, or maybe just for himself in one of his notebooks pre-CW) starts jotting down all of the things that he can’t bring himself to tell Steve ... including all of the HYDRA trash-related things; torture, medical abuse, sexual abuse, etc, and his (shameful, conflicted, unspeakable) feelings related to all of the above. The list starts out mundane/soft/less graphic and gets more and more heartbreakingly dirtybadwrong as it goes on. This could be a sign of Bucky healing and coming to terms with everything, or of him nearing a mental breakdown as he becomes increasing unable to cope with what he remembers. Up to you whether Steve ever sees the list or not, or if the list is a framing device or a fill all by itself. Resolve however you want.
I’d really love to see transitions in style and content as the list progresses, such as:
-Entries gradually becoming more/less coherent -The dirtybadwrong becoming more or less TMI, depending on whether or not Bucky realizes how fucked-up the abuse was and how guarded he is at any given stage (he’s opening up more as he’s healing, or becoming more ashamed and disgusted as he realizes the wrongness of everything, or losing the ability to censor himself as he falls apart, or whatever else you can come up with). -Descriptions becoming more detailed as Bucky remembers more, or becoming more fragmented as he nears a crisis point
The Steve/Bucky can be as gen or as shippy as you like.
Any level of explicit content is fine, but I’m mostly here to be emotionally destroyed, so no PWP.
***Bonus points if you can make the vaguer entries even more horrifying than the more descriptive ones. Link to fill: https://hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.org/2271.html?thread=6063583#cmt6063583
Author Notes- I am staring into the abyss with this one. In this fill: Child murder-torture-hinted rape as part of Red Room bullshit, watersports, all the usual Bucky and agents rape and Trashiest of party favors, sensory deprivation, Tony Stark wants to hate Bucky but winds up just pitying the poor bastard. I used Tony as the vehicle for reactions, because honestly if someone with working empathy started reading this I don't think they could finish reading the first page of this without needing to be violently ill, let alone be able to power through it all.
Unless they happen to be SGR. Then they might. But that is a bit too much for me to write. (Yeah, I know, hush.) I give full permission for someone to take the entries and run with them though, if they speak to you.
But please do be aware of your own safety. Even for the Trash Meme- the Red Room stuff can be- a bit much.
Bucky writes down all of the things he can't tell his best friend
Pairing: Fairly Stucky but could be seen as one sided love
Completion status: WIP
Text of prompt:Bucky (due to prompting by Steve/his therapist, or maybe just for himself in one of his notebooks pre-CW) starts jotting down all of the things that he can’t bring himself to tell Steve ... including all of the HYDRA trash-related things; torture, medical abuse, sexual abuse, etc, and his (shameful, conflicted, unspeakable) feelings related to all of the above. The list starts out mundane/soft/less graphic and gets more and more heartbreakingly dirtybadwrong as it goes on. This could be a sign of Bucky healing and coming to terms with everything, or of him nearing a mental breakdown as he becomes increasing unable to cope with what he remembers. Up to you whether Steve ever sees the list or not, or if the list is a framing device or a fill all by itself. Resolve however you want.
I’d really love to see transitions in style and content as the list progresses, such as:
-Entries gradually becoming more/less coherent
-The dirtybadwrong becoming more or less TMI, depending on whether or not Bucky realizes how fucked-up the abuse was and how guarded he is at any given stage (he’s opening up more as he’s healing, or becoming more ashamed and disgusted as he realizes the wrongness of everything, or losing the ability to censor himself as he falls apart, or whatever else you can come up with).
-Descriptions becoming more detailed as Bucky remembers more, or becoming more fragmented as he nears a crisis point
The Steve/Bucky can be as gen or as shippy as you like.
Any level of explicit content is fine, but I’m mostly here to be emotionally destroyed, so no PWP.
***Bonus points if you can make the vaguer entries even more horrifying than the more descriptive ones.
Link to fill: https://hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.org/2271.html?thread=6063583#cmt6063583
Author Notes- I am staring into the abyss with this one. In this fill: Child murder-torture-hinted rape as part of Red Room bullshit, watersports, all the usual Bucky and agents rape and Trashiest of party favors, sensory deprivation, Tony Stark wants to hate Bucky but winds up just pitying the poor bastard. I used Tony as the vehicle for reactions, because honestly if someone with working empathy started reading this I don't think they could finish reading the first page of this without needing to be violently ill, let alone be able to power through it all.
Unless they happen to be SGR. Then they might. But that is a bit too much for me to write. (Yeah, I know, hush.) I give full permission for someone to take the entries and run with them though, if they speak to you.
But please do be aware of your own safety. Even for the Trash Meme- the Red Room stuff can be- a bit much.