anyone wanna talk about shame/dealing with real life trash interests (all consensual though dw abt that) because I struggle to get off without having some element of trash (for lack of a better term) and ppl usually say oh but 'it won't be that way when you are with another person!' except lo and behold I couldn't get off when with another person and only found myself sexually enjoying it (my experiences as a whole have been...pleasant, if not arousing) when I hurt them/ think about trashy stuff

people always tend to reiterate that as long as you stick to fiction you aren't a bad person so like, what does that make me if it is part of my real life, and I can't get off without this stuff? idk this is probably tmi