I can tell you take a lot of care writing Steve, because he always reads as very Steve to me. And I think he's a particularly difficult character to get right (or at least, he is for me), partially because his characterization is inflected with these subtle notes like his sadness smiles, but also because he's such an action hero. He's a straightforward, righteously good person who shows up in the movies to lay waste to Nazis, and here we are, throwing him into complicated sexual nightmares that are impossible to action-hero his way out of. So it must require a lot of thought to get Steve right, and you do.

Oh wow, I was reading the "got picky" line as being about who fucked him, but if it's about how they fucked him, it is actually much worse! Like he could take whatever they did to him -- and now doesn't get that he could because he had to, it's not like he could bail out. Bucky must be going through hell right now trying to figure out why he could endure that but not this. Aw god

Like you said earlier, it's a hard topic for both of them, but GODDAMMIT BABIES TALK TO EACH OTHER. idk yo there is so much sweetness in this fic thanks to their love for each other and how hard they keep trying, and it's great to know they're gonna make it work, but at the same I am HAVING A BLAST with their agony in getting there.