Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

[trashmod]

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.

Comments

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 5/? -- ERROR FREE

[(Anonymous)]

Whenever I write Steve I feel like I have a banner scrolling in my head that just says "word choice" over and over, because that's one of the clearest ways to communicate his POV – he's not disconnected from the modern world, but he probably relates to it a little differently. But year, he really is very lost here – and frankly Bucky is a big part of that. "So you seem to be coping badly with the trauma you don't want to talk about and this is both concerning and upsetting to me" is a pretty hard topic to tackle, though.

While Steve's right that this isn't something you can bull-head your way through, they both have a lot of determination and affection, which is what's going to see them through to making it work. But in the meantime...
As I mentioned upthread once I realized I could make them talk right then and there I couldn't pass it up. There was also, for me, something about the fact that either of them could break the glass without hardly trying, neither of them was going to, both of them knew it, and Bucky still pressing the door shut.
I don't want to detail too much about what's going on in Bucky's head since I may... detail that in a later installment like a real writer, but you've nailed a lot of it. The internal version of that "I was never picky" comment probably goes something like "You've done this fine before, and now you bug out if every little thing isn't right?" A big part of what he sees as humiliating is having Steve there to see the whole thing – and being asked to talk about it on top of that. He definitely hasn't untangled participation from consent, nor has he untangled his own anger and shame from the objective truth. That example is totally an attempt to kick it in Steve's face, make him uncomfortable or disgusted or upset enough to back off, but unfortunately/fortunately for Bucky Steve is just about impervious to intimidation.
And yes, someone finally said the thing, not in an ideal way but probably in a way at least one of them needed to hear. Bucky's technically right, he doesn't have to talk about anything – he just really, really should.

Finally it means the world to me that you pointed out the characterization because I possibly agonized over it even more than usual this time around. I hope to have further installments reasonably soon!

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 5/? -- ERROR FREE

[(Anonymous)]

I can tell you take a lot of care writing Steve, because he always reads as very Steve to me. And I think he's a particularly difficult character to get right (or at least, he is for me), partially because his characterization is inflected with these subtle notes like his sadness smiles, but also because he's such an action hero. He's a straightforward, righteously good person who shows up in the movies to lay waste to Nazis, and here we are, throwing him into complicated sexual nightmares that are impossible to action-hero his way out of. So it must require a lot of thought to get Steve right, and you do.

Oh wow, I was reading the "got picky" line as being about who fucked him, but if it's about how they fucked him, it is actually much worse! Like he could take whatever they did to him -- and now doesn't get that he could because he had to, it's not like he could bail out. Bucky must be going through hell right now trying to figure out why he could endure that but not this. Aw god

Like you said earlier, it's a hard topic for both of them, but GODDAMMIT BABIES TALK TO EACH OTHER. idk yo there is so much sweetness in this fic thanks to their love for each other and how hard they keep trying, and it's great to know they're gonna make it work, but at the same I am HAVING A BLAST with their agony in getting there.