So basically I want a story where Bucky and Steve weren't together pre CA:TWS.
For all we know, Bucky was genuinely into ladies.
But Hydra makes it into a sport of it to see if they can "rape him gay", which they do in fact succeed in, over the years, at least on the physical side. They train Bucky to enjoy sucking cock, and taking it up the ass. Perhaps he's only ever allowed to come or feel pleasure when he's being penetrated. Part of it would have also been verbal humiliation calling him gay slurs.
Fast forward to the aftermath trash. After his return, it becomes clear that Steve has feelings for Bucky. Bucky reciprocates them, or at least *thinks$ he does...but he's not sure, he *can't* be sure, because there's a nagging feeling it might be because of his "training". I mean, he never quite felt *love* for a man before, so he can't be sure either way.
Cue angst about uncertainty on Bucky's side, and Steve's horror when he finds out.
+ if Bucky lets himself be fucked by Steve long before he got the chance to figure this shit out.
++ if Bucky actually *hates* that he *enjoys* it and the mere fact he now gets off on man-on-man sex voluntarily leads to self-loathing and he finds himself disgusting.
+++ if pre-war homophobic attitudes play a part in his shame
++++If he loves Steve either way, but can't figure out if it's " best friend love" or romantic love, but maybe making Steve happy is more important than figuring that out.
Up to the writer what "the truth" is. Was he actually bi to begin with but did what happen to him make him doubt forever? Was he straight before but did the corrective rape actually work? Does he come to a point where he decides it doesn't really matter or will there forever be nagging doubt? Do he and Steve make this dysfunctional shit work or does it end in tears? Or first tears then comfort?
Reverse corrective rape
For all we know, Bucky was genuinely into ladies.
But Hydra makes it into a sport of it to see if they can "rape him gay", which they do in fact succeed in, over the years, at least on the physical side. They train Bucky to enjoy sucking cock, and taking it up the ass. Perhaps he's only ever allowed to come or feel pleasure when he's being penetrated. Part of it would have also been verbal humiliation calling him gay slurs.
Fast forward to the aftermath trash. After his return, it becomes clear that Steve has feelings for Bucky. Bucky reciprocates them, or at least *thinks$ he does...but he's not sure, he *can't* be sure, because there's a nagging feeling it might be because of his "training". I mean, he never quite felt *love* for a man before, so he can't be sure either way.
Cue angst about uncertainty on Bucky's side, and Steve's horror when he finds out.
+ if Bucky lets himself be fucked by Steve long before he got the chance to figure this shit out.
++ if Bucky actually *hates* that he *enjoys* it and the mere fact he now gets off on man-on-man sex voluntarily leads to self-loathing and he finds himself disgusting.
+++ if pre-war homophobic attitudes play a part in his shame
++++If he loves Steve either way, but can't figure out if it's " best friend love" or romantic love, but maybe making Steve happy is more important than figuring that out.
Up to the writer what "the truth" is. Was he actually bi to begin with but did what happen to him make him doubt forever? Was he straight before but did the corrective rape actually work? Does he come to a point where he decides it doesn't really matter or will there forever be nagging doubt? Do he and Steve make this dysfunctional shit work or does it end in tears? Or first tears then comfort?