This was, start to finish, such a beautiful fill. It was 100% more than I could have expected from the prompt in terms of amazingness (and about twice as long as you said it would be -- it was like a surprise christmas every time you updated and the numbers had ticked up again). But if it had to end, you ended it perfectly.
Everything about the choice Bucky made is awful. You talked about chasing him to the hill he's willing to die on and then burning it down, but... somehow I still was not prepared for how thoroughly they were going to trash his sense of self. OH MY GOD. I can understand and forgive his choice; he's been raped, dehumanized, manipulated, blamed, shamed, fucked with in every way. But he's never going to be able to forgive himself. Never. Sometimes when thinking about this fic I would ponder how fucking impossible it would be for post-CATWS!Bucky to ever explain how they broke him -- but explaining the rapes would be easy as pie in comparison to admitting this.
And it's so sad because it was so pointless. They were never going to release Hanson so he could tell the world Bucky was alive; Steve wasn't even around to report to; the shame of everyone knowing would have been SO MUCH BETTER than being the Winter Soldier; and finally, I like to think that if information of his whereabouts had leaked, Peggy would have stormed in to rescue him singlehandedly. Poor Bucky. Just... poor Bucky.
The final detail that just adds shine to this burning trash heap is the change in address at the end. Throughout the fic, he has called himself Bucky, and he has been called Sergeant Barnes by others, a small nod of respect, acknowledgment of his identity, even as he endured systematic dehumanization. Mueller's efforts have culminated in a destruction of identity so total that Bucky's name is dropped, and he is just 'the soldier' now, in Mueller's address and in his own narration. Amazing -- just amazing. Bucky's growth -- well, his decay -- from the first section to this last; unbelievably well done.
Thank you so much.
P.S. "the pleasure was all mine" hAHAHA FUCK YOU KARPOV???
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
This was, start to finish, such a beautiful fill. It was 100% more than I could have expected from the prompt in terms of amazingness (and about twice as long as you said it would be -- it was like a surprise christmas every time you updated and the numbers had ticked up again). But if it had to end, you ended it perfectly.
Everything about the choice Bucky made is awful. You talked about chasing him to the hill he's willing to die on and then burning it down, but... somehow I still was not prepared for how thoroughly they were going to trash his sense of self. OH MY GOD. I can understand and forgive his choice; he's been raped, dehumanized, manipulated, blamed, shamed, fucked with in every way. But he's never going to be able to forgive himself. Never. Sometimes when thinking about this fic I would ponder how fucking impossible it would be for post-CATWS!Bucky to ever explain how they broke him -- but explaining the rapes would be easy as pie in comparison to admitting this.
And it's so sad because it was so pointless. They were never going to release Hanson so he could tell the world Bucky was alive; Steve wasn't even around to report to; the shame of everyone knowing would have been SO MUCH BETTER than being the Winter Soldier; and finally, I like to think that if information of his whereabouts had leaked, Peggy would have stormed in to rescue him singlehandedly. Poor Bucky. Just... poor Bucky.
The final detail that just adds shine to this burning trash heap is the change in address at the end. Throughout the fic, he has called himself Bucky, and he has been called Sergeant Barnes by others, a small nod of respect, acknowledgment of his identity, even as he endured systematic dehumanization. Mueller's efforts have culminated in a destruction of identity so total that Bucky's name is dropped, and he is just 'the soldier' now, in Mueller's address and in his own narration. Amazing -- just amazing. Bucky's growth -- well, his decay -- from the first section to this last; unbelievably well done.
Thank you so much.
P.S. "the pleasure was all mine" hAHAHA FUCK YOU KARPOV???