garbage all the way down (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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hydratrashmeme2014-12-07 08:43 am
trashmod) wrote in hydratrashmeme2014-12-07 08:43 am
Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop
Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.
Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.
[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained bygreenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]
Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.
Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.
[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by
greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.
FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-03 03:33 am (UTC)(link)“It was a pleasure to see you again.” Müller extended a hand.
“The pleasure was all mine, I assure you, Hauptmann Müller.” After shaking Muller’s hand, Karpov stroked his fingers through Bucky’s hair where he lay limp across the desk. “We will meet again, malchik.”
“Allow us to escort you out,” said the older Hydra officer. He stood and ushered the Russians from the room, followed by the scientist. Neumann closed the door behind them, leaving only Müller, his four guards, and Hansen. On the mantle, a clock chimed the hour.
Bucky curled onto his side. His muscles felt loose and heavy in the wake of his orgasm, but his heart was light. He’d won. He hadn’t allowed himself to be distracted from his plan, and he had accomplished what he meant to. He’d been perfectly obedient. Now Müller would have to hold up his end of the bargain, wouldn’t he? Feeling a sudden cold stab of fear, Bucky whipped around to face Müller.
Müller stood a few steps away, head tilted slightly as he regarded Bucky. “You did very well, Sergeant. I’m impressed.” He settled his hands around Bucky’s ribs to help him sit up properly, perched on the edge of the desk with his legs dangling. “Despite your assurances, I wasn’t certain you were sincere in your wish to cooperate.”
“I did what you wanted.” His throat felt sore and his jaw ached, but his voice was steady.
“Yes, Sergeant. You obeyed perfectly. You did everything we wanted, and you let yourself enjoy it, too.” Müller’s eyes drifted down Bucky’s body to where semen coated his belly.
Bucky scrubbed at it with his hand, but only succeeded in smearing the mess. When he looked up again, Müller had turned away.
“Lieutenant, do you not think he did an admirable job?” Müller asked.
Graf tugged the gag out of Hansen’s mouth and stuffed it in his pocket.
“Yeah.” Hansen moved his jaw side to side, working out the stiffness as he glared at Bucky. “A real admirable job of whoring himself out to the enemy.”
Graf stepped over to whisper something to Lange, and they both chuckled.
“No need to listen to him.” Müller settled onto the edge of the desk and rested his arm over Bucky’s shoulders. His touch felt warm and solid in the chill of the room. “He doesn’t understand what you’ve been through, the choices you’ve had to make. This was the only smart decision, wasn’t it, Sergeant Barnes?”
“Yes.” It had been. Bucky had done what was necessary every step of the way. If that meant he’d ended up here, sitting naked in a room full of squid Nazis while his stretched asshole leaked come onto a polished wooden desk, so be it. He had a plan. It was working. He’d beaten Müller at his own game, had called his bluff. Müller had bet Bucky wouldn’t be able to rise to the challenge, but he had. He raised his chin when he looked at Müller. “I did what I had to do.”
“You did so well.” Far from seeming perturbed by Bucky’s defiance, Müller flashed his polite smile. “Everything we expected and more. I’m proud of you, Sergeant.” He gave Bucky a quick squeeze, then let go, pushed to his feet, and strode over to drop a hand on Hansen’s shoulder. “And so, you’ve earned a choice. It is in your power to spare Lieutenant Hansen. We can have him set free.”
“Thank you.” Bucky let out the breath he’d been holding. Müller hadn’t lied. He was going to hold up his end of the bargain.
“Yes.” Müller’s smile widened. “Our operatives will release him directly to Captain America. He can deliver a full report on your condition. Your sessions have been well documented, and of course Lieutenant Hansen has seen your activities firsthand, so he should be equipped to give Captain Rogers the complete details. Isn’t that right, Lieutenant?”
“I’ll tell him what he needs to know,” Hansen said, but he watched Bucky with a furrowed brow.
“However, if you feel a second-hand report would be insufficient, I am happy to arrange for some visual documentation to send with Lieutenant Hansen,” Müller continued. “There are some photographs. Unteroffizier Werner has one he keeps at his desk, in fact. Very popular.”
Bucky hadn’t known that. He didn’t remember a camera, though there had been strangers present at times, and Bucky hadn’t always been fully aware of his surroundings. He hadn’t seen the photographs, but he could imagine what they showed: him on his knees for Hydra, making himself come while letting his captors use him.
“Perhaps we could even procure a film reel,” Müller went on, his smile brightening. “Would that be preferable? Photographs can leave out important details, but film is a more intimate medium. It is up to you, Sergeant Barnes. Say the word, and I will release this man.”
“I…” No words could get past the lump forming in his throat. He couldn’t breathe. From his place on the desk, he could see Hansen’s eyes, wide and dark as they fixed on him. He’d seen what Bucky had done. He knew.
“For God’s sake, Barnes—“ Hansen began, but Müller talked over him.
“It’s really quite simple, Sergeant. Do you wish all of your actions to be reported to Captain Rogers? He would receive an explicit account of how you’ve decided to occupy your time since you’ve been with us. I am sure Lieutenant Hansen would give a thoroughly factual report.”
“I…” Bucky’s eyes slid away from Hansen to stare down at his own body, pale and wasted, marked with bruises that would heal in a day’s time and stained with evidence of the orgasm he’d achieved while trying his best to pleasure an enemy officer.
“Say something,” Hansen snapped. “Speak up, dammit. What are you waiting for?” He struggled in his bonds. “Snap out of it!”
“What would Captain Rogers think of what you’ve allowed to happen? Would he rush to mount a heroic rescue? Would he approve of the decisions you have made?” Müller was closer, now, his mouth to Bucky’s ear, his tone measured and hypnotically calm beneath the descant of Hansen’s shouting. The Luger was cradled in his hand. “I leave the choice to you, Sergeant. Do you want me to spare him?”
“Barnes, you spineless queer!” Hansen pulled against the ropes, rocking the chair he sat in. “Quit stalling!”
“Sergeant?” Müller asked, voice perfectly even. “Yes or no?”
“No,” Bucky breathed.
Müller lifted the gun and pulled the trigger. Hansen’s head snapped back, and then his whole body slumped forward, held up only by the rope securing him to the chair.
He watched the body crumple and felt himself falling. Strong arms caught him as he collapsed to the floor. His eyes stayed fixed on the corpse, slack in its bonds. Gradually, as the buzzing ring in his ears subsided, he became aware of a high, thin sound—air whistling through his teeth as he sucked in breath—and firm, reassuring pressure—Müller’s hand stroking through his hair.
“There, there, soldier. You’ve done so well. That man will not bother you anymore.” Müller tightened the comforting ring of his arms, which quelled the shaking. “I am so proud of you, soldier. You did the right thing. “
“Did I?” he asked. That didn’t seem right, somehow, though he’d known, he’d known with a knife-sharp clarity a moment ago that this was the only thing to do.
“Yes. I do not lie to you, do I, soldier?”
“No.” Müller had always done what he’d said. Müller had left the choices up to him. He had made the decision on his own.
“That’s right.” Müller placed two fingers beneath his chin to tilt his head up and look into the soldier’s eyes. “You have done so very well. Now you are ready to begin your real training.”
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-03 03:40 am (UTC)(link)SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMING THIS IS MORE HORROBLE THAN ANYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR OH GOD. OH GOD. OH YES. HE WORKED SO HARD AND THEN. AND THEN
FLAILING
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-03 03:49 am (UTC)(link)THIS IS MORE HORROBLE THAN ANYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR
That is music to my ears.
HE WORKED SO HARD AND THEN. AND THEN
At the trash party, even when you win, you cannot win. :D Thank you for your flails!!!
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-03 05:24 am (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-03 05:21 am (UTC)(link)I love the way you showed Bucky slowly losing more and more of himself! It was so patiently done, and Muller was perfect in giving Bucky just enough rope to hang himself with. Also, the way the prisoners were brought to Bucky (the first nearly worshipping him, so that he felt attatched and then horrified when he was killed, the second still viewing Bucky as a person but less enamored, and then the third being a total douche bigot) felt like Hydra was letting Bucky grow less and less attatched to his own side. Was that on purpose???? You motherfucking genius.
Excuse me while I go cry about the fact that this beautiful fic has ended
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-09 03:52 am (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-03 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)This was, start to finish, such a beautiful fill. It was 100% more than I could have expected from the prompt in terms of amazingness (and about twice as long as you said it would be -- it was like a surprise christmas every time you updated and the numbers had ticked up again). But if it had to end, you ended it perfectly.
Everything about the choice Bucky made is awful. You talked about chasing him to the hill he's willing to die on and then burning it down, but... somehow I still was not prepared for how thoroughly they were going to trash his sense of self. OH MY GOD. I can understand and forgive his choice; he's been raped, dehumanized, manipulated, blamed, shamed, fucked with in every way. But he's never going to be able to forgive himself. Never. Sometimes when thinking about this fic I would ponder how fucking impossible it would be for post-CATWS!Bucky to ever explain how they broke him -- but explaining the rapes would be easy as pie in comparison to admitting this.
And it's so sad because it was so pointless. They were never going to release Hanson so he could tell the world Bucky was alive; Steve wasn't even around to report to; the shame of everyone knowing would have been SO MUCH BETTER than being the Winter Soldier; and finally, I like to think that if information of his whereabouts had leaked, Peggy would have stormed in to rescue him singlehandedly. Poor Bucky. Just... poor Bucky.
The final detail that just adds shine to this burning trash heap is the change in address at the end. Throughout the fic, he has called himself Bucky, and he has been called Sergeant Barnes by others, a small nod of respect, acknowledgment of his identity, even as he endured systematic dehumanization. Mueller's efforts have culminated in a destruction of identity so total that Bucky's name is dropped, and he is just 'the soldier' now, in Mueller's address and in his own narration. Amazing -- just amazing. Bucky's growth -- well, his decay -- from the first section to this last; unbelievably well done.
Thank you so much.
P.S. "the pleasure was all mine" hAHAHA FUCK YOU KARPOV???
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-09 04:21 am (UTC)(link)You talked about chasing him to the hill he's willing to die on and then burning it down, but... I still was not prepared for how thoroughly they were going to trash his sense of self.
Sorry! Yeah, this ending was basically the very first thing I wrote, so I knew where this was going to end up, but... still... Bucky was not really prepared for how this could go wrong. I think for me, in the end, the last hill he's willing to die on, the thing he has to preserve even to the detriment of his safety, his morals, and his future, is Steve's regard for him. Like, Steve has always believed in him, and he cannot let that be destroyed, even if the alternative is death. If Steve hated him, life wouldn't be worth living, anyway. And of course, Bucky's thinking, Steve will hate him if he finds out what he's already done.
Sometimes when thinking about this fic I would ponder how fucking impossible it would be for post-CATWS!Bucky to ever explain how they broke him -- but explaining the rapes would be easy as pie in comparison to admitting this.
I.... Yes. This is very true. I am trying to imagine him explaining this to Steve (probably as part of a, "Um, yeah, Sam is right, I'm not the type you save" argument), or Steve reading reports about this and trying to puzzle out what the fuck happened. Just... uuuuugh.
And it's so sad because it was so pointless.
You asked earlier when Bucky was going to learn Captain America was dead. Yeah, probably later in the process when they can't use Cap against him anymore, and want to show him exactly how pointless this betrayal was. So, y'know, at the most painful point possible. Also, YES Peggy would totally have rescued that shit out of him.
The final detail that just adds shine to this burning trash heap is the change in address at the end.
:D :D :D I am so happy this worked for you. Müller's been purposely encouraging him to identify as Sergeant Barnes all this time, and of course Bucky now believes Sergeant Bucky Barnes is a terrible, horrible person. So how much more comfortable would it be just to be an entirely new entity, one that doesn't have to make any choices for himself? Mmm hmm.
P.S. "the pleasure was all mine" hAHAHA FUCK YOU KARPOV???
Haaaa, what a dick. Although, pretty much every Hydra-related character here is a huge asshole.
Thank you for prompting this! It took over my braaaaaaain! And I'm now working on cleaning it up and posting to AO3, so I'll drop a link back here once it's done.
Re: FILL: The Only Animal (8e/8e)
(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)I.... Yes. This is very true. I am trying to imagine him explaining this to Steve (probably as part of a, "Um, yeah, Sam is right, I'm not the type you save" argument), or Steve reading reports about this and trying to puzzle out what the fuck happened. Just... uuuuugh.
I would be all over either of these situations. Poor Steve, trying to pierce together what horror could have broken Bucky, and then later learning something from Bucky that was worse than what he'd feared. Or I'm imagining Bucky in a debrief situation, and they'd want to know all about the process by which he became the Winter Soldier. So there's Steve, behind the glass, kept from intervening as the debriefing agent draws out Bucky's tortured description of the events of this fic...
You asked earlier when Bucky was going to learn Captain America was dead. Yeah, probably later in the process when they can't use Cap against him anymore, and want to show him exactly how pointless this betrayal was.
It's good to know how much more misery is awaiting Bucky. This is one of those great Hydra-era fics that makes me sit back and think: how could he ever recover from this? How could he ever learn to like himself again? Lots of material to agonize over even now that it's finished!