In his 70 years with hydra, the agents that Bucky worked with always made sure that he knew how disgusting he is. When they fucked him, it was clear that they were doing him a favor, because nobody else would be willing to touch a scarred, used-up, freak with a metal arm. Understandably, Bucky's self esteem is a bit low after this.
Only thing is, Steve's not really helping. Even though he loves Bucky (in whatever way you want, bromance or romance), he can't get over what he knows has happened to Bucky at hydra's hands. Steve is awesome and progressive sure, but he also grew up in the 40s and thinking about male on male rape, plus how different of a person Bucky is now, plus the metal arm that is like a taunt whenever he sees it (a constant reminder of how he failed Bucky), well. It all makes him a bit uncomfortable.
Basically, the fic where Steve isn't the supportive presence that Bucky needs. He avoids his friend as much as possible, and flinches whenever Bucky touches him with his metal arm. This reinforces everything Bucky's handlers have ever said to him, and he concludes that he is the most disgusting thing ever.
+bonus if Bucky starts self-harming because he hates his body and how "wrong" it is ++ Extreme bonus if he starts hanging out with Thor instead (Thor isn't bothered by his body -- where he comes from scars are something to be proud of because its a sign of battle prowess) +++ Super mega bonus if someone (could be Thor or anyone else) realizes what's going on, smacks Steve on the back of the head and tells him he's being an idiot
Steve is not helpful
Only thing is, Steve's not really helping. Even though he loves Bucky (in whatever way you want, bromance or romance), he can't get over what he knows has happened to Bucky at hydra's hands. Steve is awesome and progressive sure, but he also grew up in the 40s and thinking about male on male rape, plus how different of a person Bucky is now, plus the metal arm that is like a taunt whenever he sees it (a constant reminder of how he failed Bucky), well. It all makes him a bit uncomfortable.
Basically, the fic where Steve isn't the supportive presence that Bucky needs. He avoids his friend as much as possible, and flinches whenever Bucky touches him with his metal arm. This reinforces everything Bucky's handlers have ever said to him, and he concludes that he is the most disgusting thing ever.
+bonus if Bucky starts self-harming because he hates his body and how "wrong" it is
++ Extreme bonus if he starts hanging out with Thor instead (Thor isn't bothered by his body -- where he comes from scars are something to be proud of because its a sign of battle prowess)
+++ Super mega bonus if someone (could be Thor or anyone else) realizes what's going on, smacks Steve on the back of the head and tells him he's being an idiot