Lots of self-harm/suicidal themes and thoughts in this one, just to warn you. And maybe past rape. Also ableism?
So I can't get the idea of Bucky using The Chair to kill himself out of my head. I think it would go like this: Steve hasn't given up looking for Bucky after CA:TWS, but he doesn't seem to want to be found so Steve backs off just a bit. But Bucky is constantly plagued by all the noise in his head. Hydra really fucked him over -possibly literally- and he can't stop hating himself for being "evil" and "insane" and wanting to hurt and/or kill himself.
It gets to be too much and Bucky decides to end it- but wants to make it look like an accident in case Steve finds out because for some reason the idea of Steve finding out he killed himself all alone bothers him. He decides to set The Chair up to max power and fry himself to death.
But it doesn't work- he survives but is in massive pain and confusion and might have caused some permanent damage. This ends in him stumbling to Steve out of desperation. Until now Steve didn't realize just how badly Bucky was doing.
Hydra ruined Bucky's life attempted suicide addition with Steve/Bucky aftermath
And maybe past rape. Also ableism?
So I can't get the idea of Bucky using The Chair to kill himself out of my head. I think it would go like this: Steve hasn't given up looking for Bucky after CA:TWS, but he doesn't seem to want to be found so Steve backs off just a bit. But Bucky is constantly plagued by all the noise in his head. Hydra really fucked him over -possibly literally- and he can't stop hating himself for being "evil" and "insane" and wanting to hurt and/or kill himself.
It gets to be too much and Bucky decides to end it- but wants to make it look like an accident in case Steve finds out because for some reason the idea of Steve finding out he killed himself all alone bothers him. He decides to set The Chair up to max power and fry himself to death.
But it doesn't work- he survives but is in massive pain and confusion and might have caused some permanent damage. This ends in him stumbling to Steve out of desperation. Until now Steve didn't realize just how badly Bucky was doing.