clarifying this a bit- I want Bucky dealing with his stuff in the desensitized survivor way- but having a chance to see how awful it probably actually is by the way the innocent (Shuri) and mostly innocent (T'Challa) react to his pretty much standard daily life as the Asset.
Bucky knows it's bad but can't really access the scope of it from inside looking out. He gets validation for his own anger and reactions, through seeing Shuri lose her shit completely at just a few of the various parties.
Bucky is so put together as much because he has to be for them, as he can't react to the scope of the wrongs done to him without falling apart. So having someone else fall apart for him is strangely soothing.
Re: Shuri sees the HTP in Bucky's memories while helping him deprogram
Bucky knows it's bad but can't really access the scope of it from inside looking out. He gets validation for his own anger and reactions, through seeing Shuri lose her shit completely at just a few of the various parties.
Bucky is so put together as much because he has to be for them, as he can't react to the scope of the wrongs done to him without falling apart. So having someone else fall apart for him is strangely soothing.