Things get hectic when Tony calls Wakanda for clearance. The entire affair gets more complicated, and worse, until he finally convinces the Furry-King to ask James Barnes if he wants another HYDRA free option besides over-riding the command preventing him from killing himself. Oh, and Tony has his backpack to give back. Tony isn't sure which bit of information has them agreeing, but he is given clearance.
Surprisingly, and there is a LOT of sarcasm there, Stevie's Bucky hadn't told them that part of the current standing orders in his head had been a huge part in keeping him alive no matter his own personal desires. Tony was shocked. Utterly shocked. Also utterly annoyed that Captain Murderously Perfect spent the last half hour of Tony's approach trying to bark questions.
For a brilliant tactician, the man was a moron when it came to dealing with the modern political climate, the social media game- and most especially, Tony. Not so perfect after all. Hollow victory as the man was currently brow beating him about invading "Bucky's" privacy.
Which was rich because they all knew if Tony handed Steve the bags that (the poor bastard called) "Bucky" would be dealing with a Steve that had read all the shit cover to cover.
So when Tony gets off the plane, it is with his suit all whisked away in the quinjet, the backpack on his chest and his arms through the straps, and the case for the BARF unit in both of his hands.
There is even more back and forth about being searched, and having the bag searched. And even more Mr. Asshole Perfect Teeth- which yes the fact dear old 'Bucky' was also annoyed at his perfect teeth made Tony a little more able to stare the man down without following the desire to lash out. Betrayal was the least of the problems Tony had with Mr. Exhibit A in Tony's own private Daddy Issues collection. The fact that Tony had thought they had overcome some of that shit, only to have it thrown in his face, was just- extra icing on the fuck you pile.
Tony was without caffeine so without the little things- this nightmareish blur of back and forth bullshit would likely end in fight. Well a physical fight.
Tony wished he had waited for the NiteNiteCap tranqs.
And then, there was James Barnes. Tony expected a residual flare of rage. Or an active one like Captain Jackass still pulled from him by breathing let alone opening his somehow traitorous and still sanctimonious pie hole.
Tony might maybe be doing less awesome on that not heading towards a fight thing than he wanted, but he might maybe be slightly manic right now. To be fair.
"So I respect the slam poet you are way too much to call you a shit name like Bucky unless you insist on the webcam name, in which case I will just go with nicknames based on it. Because I can't actually say Bucky without thinking of a pornstar or some kid with beaver teeth."
James Barnes looked startled, followed quickly by a bemused smile then an expressive shrug. "Call me anything but Asset, and we're fine."
"James it is!" Tony said easily, and Steven the wonder puppy looked startled and confused, and in the background Tony saw a Redhead. He would bet money on Hawkass being on a balcony somewhere. Tony took far too much glee in teaching them all to, as an old timer would put it, suck eggs. "James, I am a huge fan of your way with words. Don't worry, I got like six poems in and decided I'd wait for you to choose which ones to publish. I even have a goodie bag crown in this box that can remove HYDRA from your mind. A little, like just the words. A lot like most of the stuff that inspired you to write those early poems. The ability to just orbital bombard anything that touches HYDRA and anything that ever made you feel less in your memories and make it all a done by a clone or something, retain your training but none of the rest. Or you could Nuke it from orbit. Just remove everything after the Train, or after you got drafted, or anything you want, really. I also brought everything from your bag. I swapped it in Germany before they had more than a chance to peek. SO I think I'm your only fan. Think we can go sit down- somewhere comfy maybe?"
James blinked, eyes widening but after a bit, a tentative hopeful look coming to them, softening them and making him look painfully young.
Tony hated pushing 50 when a 28-30 year old made him feel this old. Steve started to say something, starting with "Bucky I don't-" and Tony just couldn't deal with Steven I-Know-Better Rogers fucking over James's head.
"Rogers, let the grown man make his own decisions for once in over 70 years, why don't you? Seriously. He didn't sign up for you to be his caretaker or his drill sergeant." Of course that didn't go over well, and Captain Ego began to inflate for a battle.
Watching Steve deflate like a balloon when James interjected "Steve, I want to hear this, and I don't want none of your tryin to sway me. We talked about this." was worth forgiving James. Okay no, it wasn't if he had done the things- but he hadn't, HYDRA had so it was just tasty to witness. Though Tony was extremely curious what the hell James had talked with Steve about that made Steve do that not quite blanch, not quite fluster.
"You have got to teach me that. Actually no- if I have to deal with Captain Sassypants before I finish undoing the damage he managed to cause with going so far off the rails on the Accords, it means something has gone direly wrong. And by then you come as a package set I think so you can just do that for us all. No stirring speeches for why oversight, especially that was already in the works to be amended and modified to protect our individual rights including to privacy, is so intolerable. Just you verbally jabbing him." Tony babbled, and James hooked his single flesh arm over his waist, a scowl on his brows.
"I appreciate frustration with Stevie bein' pig headed, but that is still my best friend." is said without overt anger, but a hint of steel there. It bodes well. Tony can't make the decision for Bucky. But he can hope.
The rest of the morning goes about like that, CANDIELAND programming and interface being discussed in depth with the aid of a girl that makes Tony feel like his father must have when Tony would do things he would swear were two technology leaps away.
Like he was standing in the past and watching the future unfold.
He could see why it frustrated Howard. For Tony, it just made him want to shower her with money and SI contracts and steal her away to his labs to have sweet sweet science with. It was a shame she was a princess and had a lab Tony would drool over if he had more time.
By shame, he means he wants to keep in contact with her and get her to publish some more papers. The world needs more minds like hers. Surprisingly, or not, James holds his own when it comes to looking over the formulas for some of the readouts and blueprints. It is incredible how his mind makes leaps in mathematics. The on the fly caclulations he does for his sniping are one thing- this is a thing of beauty to see. "Okay, so you have at least 4 things you can do besides fighting now- Slam Poetry, Modeling, Math pretty much anything, and full time ex-Avengers wrangler."
There is an odd look but more bemusement, which overall is better than stone faces or anger or upset or hurt. So Tony is counting it as a win. Is it a win? Whatever. Yay James bonding time. Now to get rid of his fretting Blonde Shadow.
Tony winds up being there besides Shuri as James puts on the unit. They won't know what he's going to do with his own mind until he pulls it off. All they can do, is be there if something goes wrong.
Tony doesn't let himself fully think about being there if James chooses the nuke all feature. It's a more peaceful way to die than a bullet, but Tony doesn't want to make weapons anymore. But if anyone deserves all the options... it's this man.
It powers up, and Tony hopes he is right.
He hopes James is more like him than Steve. If given an option to cut the wire, he cuts it, instead of laying across it. He hopes he is right, and Bucky isn't actually craving death- he's craving autonomy and freedom. In the end- that's all Tony can do now. Hope.
Author is choosing to leave it at the BARF being used- but what Bucky uses it for is up to the reader. HOWEVER I am also writing a follow up piece to be posted here and on AO3 for this, where Bucky takes off the BARF and shows Tony a more recent page in his notebooks where Bucky has already come to realize a lot of things, including that he doesn't want to die, and that while he did horrible things, dying won't fix any of them, the same as fighting won't. But living might be a way to honor those that died. And a really excellent way to spit in Pierce and Lukin and Zola's eyes.
BARFing Out Hurt (7/7)
Surprisingly, and there is a LOT of sarcasm there, Stevie's Bucky hadn't told them that part of the current standing orders in his head had been a huge part in keeping him alive no matter his own personal desires. Tony was shocked. Utterly shocked. Also utterly annoyed that Captain Murderously Perfect spent the last half hour of Tony's approach trying to bark questions.
For a brilliant tactician, the man was a moron when it came to dealing with the modern political climate, the social media game- and most especially, Tony. Not so perfect after all. Hollow victory as the man was currently brow beating him about invading "Bucky's" privacy.
Which was rich because they all knew if Tony handed Steve the bags that (the poor bastard called) "Bucky" would be dealing with a Steve that had read all the shit cover to cover.
So when Tony gets off the plane, it is with his suit all whisked away in the quinjet, the backpack on his chest and his arms through the straps, and the case for the BARF unit in both of his hands.
There is even more back and forth about being searched, and having the bag searched. And even more Mr. Asshole Perfect Teeth- which yes the fact dear old 'Bucky' was also annoyed at his perfect teeth made Tony a little more able to stare the man down without following the desire to lash out. Betrayal was the least of the problems Tony had with Mr. Exhibit A in Tony's own private Daddy Issues collection. The fact that Tony had thought they had overcome some of that shit, only to have it thrown in his face, was just- extra icing on the fuck you pile.
Tony was without caffeine so without the little things- this nightmareish blur of back and forth bullshit would likely end in fight. Well a physical fight.
Tony wished he had waited for the NiteNiteCap tranqs.
And then, there was James Barnes. Tony expected a residual flare of rage. Or an active one like Captain Jackass still pulled from him by breathing let alone opening his somehow traitorous and still sanctimonious pie hole.
Tony might maybe be doing less awesome on that not heading towards a fight thing than he wanted, but he might maybe be slightly manic right now. To be fair.
"So I respect the slam poet you are way too much to call you a shit name like Bucky unless you insist on the webcam name, in which case I will just go with nicknames based on it. Because I can't actually say Bucky without thinking of a pornstar or some kid with beaver teeth."
James Barnes looked startled, followed quickly by a bemused smile then an expressive shrug. "Call me anything but Asset, and we're fine."
"James it is!" Tony said easily, and Steven the wonder puppy looked startled and confused, and in the background Tony saw a Redhead. He would bet money on Hawkass being on a balcony somewhere. Tony took far too much glee in teaching them all to, as an old timer would put it, suck eggs. "James, I am a huge fan of your way with words. Don't worry, I got like six poems in and decided I'd wait for you to choose which ones to publish. I even have a goodie bag crown in this box that can remove HYDRA from your mind. A little, like just the words. A lot like most of the stuff that inspired you to write those early poems. The ability to just orbital bombard anything that touches HYDRA and anything that ever made you feel less in your memories and make it all a done by a clone or something, retain your training but none of the rest. Or you could Nuke it from orbit. Just remove everything after the Train, or after you got drafted, or anything you want, really. I also brought everything from your bag. I swapped it in Germany before they had more than a chance to peek. SO I think I'm your only fan. Think we can go sit down- somewhere comfy maybe?"
James blinked, eyes widening but after a bit, a tentative hopeful look coming to them, softening them and making him look painfully young.
Tony hated pushing 50 when a 28-30 year old made him feel this old. Steve started to say something, starting with "Bucky I don't-" and Tony just couldn't deal with Steven I-Know-Better Rogers fucking over James's head.
"Rogers, let the grown man make his own decisions for once in over 70 years, why don't you? Seriously. He didn't sign up for you to be his caretaker or his drill sergeant." Of course that didn't go over well, and Captain Ego began to inflate for a battle.
Watching Steve deflate like a balloon when James interjected "Steve, I want to hear this, and I don't want none of your tryin to sway me. We talked about this." was worth forgiving James. Okay no, it wasn't if he had done the things- but he hadn't, HYDRA had so it was just tasty to witness. Though Tony was extremely curious what the hell James had talked with Steve about that made Steve do that not quite blanch, not quite fluster.
"You have got to teach me that. Actually no- if I have to deal with Captain Sassypants before I finish undoing the damage he managed to cause with going so far off the rails on the Accords, it means something has gone direly wrong. And by then you come as a package set I think so you can just do that for us all. No stirring speeches for why oversight, especially that was already in the works to be amended and modified to protect our individual rights including to privacy, is so intolerable. Just you verbally jabbing him." Tony babbled, and James hooked his single flesh arm over his waist, a scowl on his brows.
"I appreciate frustration with Stevie bein' pig headed, but that is still my best friend." is said without overt anger, but a hint of steel there. It bodes well. Tony can't make the decision for Bucky. But he can hope.
The rest of the morning goes about like that, CANDIELAND programming and interface being discussed in depth with the aid of a girl that makes Tony feel like his father must have when Tony would do things he would swear were two technology leaps away.
Like he was standing in the past and watching the future unfold.
He could see why it frustrated Howard. For Tony, it just made him want to shower her with money and SI contracts and steal her away to his labs to have sweet sweet science with. It was a shame she was a princess and had a lab Tony would drool over if he had more time.
By shame, he means he wants to keep in contact with her and get her to publish some more papers. The world needs more minds like hers. Surprisingly, or not, James holds his own when it comes to looking over the formulas for some of the readouts and blueprints. It is incredible how his mind makes leaps in mathematics. The on the fly caclulations he does for his sniping are one thing- this is a thing of beauty to see. "Okay, so you have at least 4 things you can do besides fighting now- Slam Poetry, Modeling, Math pretty much anything, and full time ex-Avengers wrangler."
There is an odd look but more bemusement, which overall is better than stone faces or anger or upset or hurt. So Tony is counting it as a win. Is it a win? Whatever. Yay James bonding time. Now to get rid of his fretting Blonde Shadow.
Tony winds up being there besides Shuri as James puts on the unit. They won't know what he's going to do with his own mind until he pulls it off. All they can do, is be there if something goes wrong.
Tony doesn't let himself fully think about being there if James chooses the nuke all feature. It's a more peaceful way to die than a bullet, but Tony doesn't want to make weapons anymore. But if anyone deserves all the options... it's this man.
It powers up, and Tony hopes he is right.
He hopes James is more like him than Steve. If given an option to cut the wire, he cuts it, instead of laying across it. He hopes he is right, and Bucky isn't actually craving death- he's craving autonomy and freedom. In the end- that's all Tony can do now. Hope.
It never feels like enough.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Author is choosing to leave it at the BARF being used- but what Bucky uses it for is up to the reader.
HOWEVER I am also writing a follow up piece to be posted here and on AO3 for this, where Bucky takes off the BARF and shows Tony a more recent page in his notebooks where Bucky has already come to realize a lot of things, including that he doesn't want to die, and that while he did horrible things, dying won't fix any of them, the same as fighting won't. But living might be a way to honor those that died. And a really excellent way to spit in Pierce and Lukin and Zola's eyes.