"the places where violent sex is portrayed (notably mainstream men's pornography) tend to be the kind of creepy I don't enjoy"

A-fucking-men to this. Even compared to most other fandoms I've been in, the HTP has been a breath of fresh air. Here I don't have to worry about stumbling over fics that romanticise or gloss over situations where consent is undermined or absent; rape is always recognised for what it is.