Wow, thank you so much. I'm so glad this is working for other people because this prompt just really grabbed me, but it's so, so rough. I didn't really set out to take an already dark prompt and make it 100% more painful and horrifying, but that's where this one went.
If I may ramble obnoxiously for a moment: I wanted to convey, beyond the powerful effect that Steve has on Bucky regardless, that part of the reason the Winter Soldier is changing and coming around is just being treated with kindness and respect and being presented with someone who never does what he expects. Steve is a bit of an aberration; he's wearing down, he's not doing well, but he's different, and he's consistently good to and concerned for this guy he really has no reason to trust (and obviously that trust only goes so far, like when he balks at being asked to reach into his pants without a good reason, but it's still genuine). And whether that serves to distract him from his own nightmare or whether he just genuinely can't stop himself from investing in and looking out for people (and he's Steve, we know the answer is both), Steve acknowledges his personhood, and now that the Soldier is regaining that, he doesn't really want to see Steve lose it either. And their treatment of him is inhumane in the extreme, and the Soldier may not remember experiencing that (even though we know he did, for the most part), but he probably recognizes on some level that this is different, that their interest in this guy means something beyond the usual, and that nothing they say can justify doing this to someone no matter what lies they fed him. So he's desperately trying to find this balance, and the scales keep shifting under his feet, but he knows the center won't hold forever.
Oh, man, it's going to get so much worse, though, sorry. The Soldier is trying so hard, and Steve is hanging on, but the powers that be have noticed. I have that scene partially written and. Yeah. It is Not Good when Steve realizes the truth. It is so very Not Good that I already have part of the recovery sequel written just because I needed that shit.
Re: FILL: Daybreak part 8c Re: Identity Porn in captivity
If I may ramble obnoxiously for a moment: I wanted to convey, beyond the powerful effect that Steve has on Bucky regardless, that part of the reason the Winter Soldier is changing and coming around is just being treated with kindness and respect and being presented with someone who never does what he expects. Steve is a bit of an aberration; he's wearing down, he's not doing well, but he's different, and he's consistently good to and concerned for this guy he really has no reason to trust (and obviously that trust only goes so far, like when he balks at being asked to reach into his pants without a good reason, but it's still genuine). And whether that serves to distract him from his own nightmare or whether he just genuinely can't stop himself from investing in and looking out for people (and he's Steve, we know the answer is both), Steve acknowledges his personhood, and now that the Soldier is regaining that, he doesn't really want to see Steve lose it either. And their treatment of him is inhumane in the extreme, and the Soldier may not remember experiencing that (even though we know he did, for the most part), but he probably recognizes on some level that this is different, that their interest in this guy means something beyond the usual, and that nothing they say can justify doing this to someone no matter what lies they fed him. So he's desperately trying to find this balance, and the scales keep shifting under his feet, but he knows the center won't hold forever.
Oh, man, it's going to get so much worse, though, sorry. The Soldier is trying so hard, and Steve is hanging on, but the powers that be have noticed. I have that scene partially written and. Yeah. It is Not Good when Steve realizes the truth. It is so very Not Good that I already have part of the recovery sequel written just because I needed that shit.
Thank you again for reading and commenting!