hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because

hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

Link your fills on the fill post, post unprompted fills as replies to a header comment so the wall o' text is collapsible, and let me know if you're interested in helping out with the Pinboard archive.

[Rules in full] [Round 1] [Round 2] [Round 3] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by

greenkirtle)] [Round 4 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wow, thank you so much. I'm so glad this is working for other people because this prompt just really grabbed me, but it's so, so rough. I didn't really set out to take an already dark prompt and make it 100% more painful and horrifying, but that's where this one went.

If I may ramble obnoxiously for a moment: I wanted to convey, beyond the powerful effect that Steve has on Bucky regardless, that part of the reason the Winter Soldier is changing and coming around is just being treated with kindness and respect and being presented with someone who never does what he expects. Steve is a bit of an aberration; he's wearing down, he's not doing well, but he's different, and he's consistently good to and concerned for this guy he really has no reason to trust (and obviously that trust only goes so far, like when he balks at being asked to reach into his pants without a good reason, but it's still genuine). And whether that serves to distract him from his own nightmare or whether he just genuinely can't stop himself from investing in and looking out for people (and he's Steve, we know the answer is both), Steve acknowledges his personhood, and now that the Soldier is regaining that, he doesn't really want to see Steve lose it either. And their treatment of him is inhumane in the extreme, and the Soldier may not remember experiencing that (even though we know he did, for the most part), but he probably recognizes on some level that this is different, that their interest in this guy means something beyond the usual, and that nothing they say can justify doing this to someone no matter what lies they fed him. So he's desperately trying to find this balance, and the scales keep shifting under his feet, but he knows the center won't hold forever.

Oh, man, it's going to get so much worse, though, sorry. The Soldier is trying so hard, and Steve is hanging on, but the powers that be have noticed. I have that scene partially written and. Yeah. It is Not Good when Steve realizes the truth. It is so very Not Good that I already have part of the recovery sequel written just because I needed that shit.

Thank you again for reading and commenting!

Recovery sequel? I am so happy there will be a recovery sequel.

Arghhhhhh oh no so bad, so very very bad! I'd been mentally focused on how much this will suck for Steve, but now you've got me thinking about how much this will also hurt Bucky, especially as he's started to realize that he's capable of more humanity, and that the things he's doing to Steve (and the other prisoners) are genuinely horrible, and that he is, at least in some way, responsible for the distress he's inflicting on Steve. Ooooo this is going to be so bad. And I am relieved to hear there will be some recovery aspect, too. Because off, I think we're all gonna need it!

Oh, definitely, the recovery sequel is very necessary after what's in the cards for these guys. Both of them. It's definitely not without hurt of its own, but it's looking much heavier on the comfort. I've got 25k of pure misery packed into this thing so far, with several important scenes left to finish, so I strongly suspect it's gonna be roughly 35-40k by the end, honestly, and after all that emotional investment, I'm going to have to try to put them back together because holy fuck is this thing painful. I hope it's worth the ride.

DA, but bless you -- I'm clinging onto the thought of a recovery sequel as I read on.

I hope you'll post it on AO3 after you're done so that I may bookmark it and read it endlessly

I think I'll probably post it on AO3 when it's finished (probably after an attempt at editing, since this is a VERY rough draft but what can I say, I wanted to share the pain), and the sequel will probably go there exclusively because I'm not sure if it would be inconsiderate to clutter up the meme with something more trash-adjacent than actual trash, but it seems iffy. Also, there are some scenes I'd like to show that don't match the PoV or work in the context of the greater story, so I'm thinking of doing those as oneshots and stuffing everything into an AO3 series to keep it neat. Honestly, this thing is out of control. I'm so, so glad other people want to read this thing, so it means a lot every time someone expresses interest. Thanks so much.

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

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Re: FILL: Daybreak part 8c Re: Identity Porn in captivity

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