YAY! I am glad- in a way, I tried to hint, through Tony's observations, that Bucky is saying he wants to die, more because he is overwhelmed with grief and all the trauma he has experienced and can't see another path.
BARF is a phaser from Star Trek- it can stun him. It can do field operations. It can double as a welder... it can fix his brain so all the words have no effect- and he has autonomy. It can remove the memories whole hog. It can remove the PTSD flashbacks. It can remove Bucky and everything that came after, can remove Steve and give him a fantastic life, with all of the skills and none of the trauma- where he lived with his sisters and fell from the train a hero and trained with HYDRA but his clone went on missions and it was never once him on them.
Or it can kill him. Reduce him to a child and walk away. Flatline himself. Nuke his own brain.
And Tony is taking this to him, and will explain just how to work it. He will give it to him, and hope, that when given an option besides kill me with fire before they use me to set another fire...
Bucky will take it.
The world has Steve to fall on the wire. And to Tony it sounds like Bucky, deep inside, is done falling on wires. He is done being used.
He is saying Kill me- and that he wants to die, as a final fuck you. (From what Tony reads.... and yeah okay, the author so headcanons. But I also see Bucky hitting the nuke without pause or hesitation. And I also see Bucky saying fuckit and going back and living out that life of having a clone. And I also see him just- going back to being 13, before he ever made the choice to do whatever it took for Steve to see one more sunrise. Just- erase himself, and let kid him wake up in a world of wonder. )
Re: BARFing Out Hurt (6/7)
BARF is a phaser from Star Trek- it can stun him. It can do field operations. It can double as a welder... it can fix his brain so all the words have no effect- and he has autonomy. It can remove the memories whole hog. It can remove the PTSD flashbacks. It can remove Bucky and everything that came after, can remove Steve and give him a fantastic life, with all of the skills and none of the trauma- where he lived with his sisters and fell from the train a hero and trained with HYDRA but his clone went on missions and it was never once him on them.
Or it can kill him. Reduce him to a child and walk away. Flatline himself. Nuke his own brain.
And Tony is taking this to him, and will explain just how to work it. He will give it to him, and hope, that when given an option besides kill me with fire before they use me to set another fire...
Bucky will take it.
The world has Steve to fall on the wire. And to Tony it sounds like Bucky, deep inside, is done falling on wires. He is done being used.
He is saying Kill me- and that he wants to die, as a final fuck you. (From what Tony reads.... and yeah okay, the author so headcanons. But I also see Bucky hitting the nuke without pause or hesitation. And I also see Bucky saying fuckit and going back and living out that life of having a clone. And I also see him just- going back to being 13, before he ever made the choice to do whatever it took for Steve to see one more sunrise. Just- erase himself, and let kid him wake up in a world of wonder. )