trashmod: (welcome to the garbage can)
garbage all the way down ([personal profile] trashmod) wrote in [community profile] hydratrashmeme2016-08-20 05:45 pm

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because [community profile] hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

Link your fills on the fill post, post unprompted fills as replies to a header comment so the wall o' text is collapsible, and let me know if you're interested in helping out with the Pinboard archive.

[Rules in full] [Round 1] [Round 2] [Round 3] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by [personal profile] greenkirtle)] [Round 4 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

Re: BARFing Out Hurt (6/7)

(Anonymous) 2018-05-15 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
YAY! I am glad- in a way, I tried to hint, through Tony's observations, that Bucky is saying he wants to die, more because he is overwhelmed with grief and all the trauma he has experienced and can't see another path.

BARF is a phaser from Star Trek- it can stun him. It can do field operations. It can double as a welder... it can fix his brain so all the words have no effect- and he has autonomy. It can remove the memories whole hog. It can remove the PTSD flashbacks. It can remove Bucky and everything that came after, can remove Steve and give him a fantastic life, with all of the skills and none of the trauma- where he lived with his sisters and fell from the train a hero and trained with HYDRA but his clone went on missions and it was never once him on them.

Or it can kill him. Reduce him to a child and walk away. Flatline himself. Nuke his own brain.

And Tony is taking this to him, and will explain just how to work it. He will give it to him, and hope, that when given an option besides kill me with fire before they use me to set another fire...

Bucky will take it.

The world has Steve to fall on the wire. And to Tony it sounds like Bucky, deep inside, is done falling on wires. He is done being used.

He is saying Kill me- and that he wants to die, as a final fuck you. (From what Tony reads.... and yeah okay, the author so headcanons. But I also see Bucky hitting the nuke without pause or hesitation. And I also see Bucky saying fuckit and going back and living out that life of having a clone. And I also see him just- going back to being 13, before he ever made the choice to do whatever it took for Steve to see one more sunrise. Just- erase himself, and let kid him wake up in a world of wonder. )

Re: BARFing Out Hurt (6/7)

(Anonymous) 2018-05-15 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
Okay don't hold me to it- but I may do a coda to this- maybe. Like an Author's porn folder Id fic, because I am re-reading copperbadge and that asshole just makes me endlessly optimistic, so maybe- if it won't ruin the fun, I might do a piece with Bucky taking off the BARF and showing Tony a specific passage in one of the most recent notebooks, where Bucky had managed to find his own healing already.... Tony just gave him the tools to ensure his own safety, to undo the very worst of it...

Fuck I am halfway to writing this...
Damnit I don't have time to beta this shit... *headdesks endlessly*

Re: BARFing Out Hurt (6/7)

(Anonymous) 2018-05-15 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
That wouldn't ruin the fun at all! The ending for Bucky that always appealed to me most personally is something like what you describe, where he's able to find what he needs within himself and is the one doing most of the heavy lifting, but there's also outside help to mitigate the very worst (of course in my head that also means Steve always being there for him in some capacity because I am an inveterate sap who loves those two so much and can't see Bucky ever erasing their relationship no matter what that would mean for him ;P). But wherever you chose to go if you do add that coda is fine by me.