hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

Welcome to the latest, greatest, scummiest iteration of

hydratrashmeme. Come on in and please check your sense of shame at the door.

Rules in brief: Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because this is emphatically not a safe space. Link your fills on the fill post. Unprompted fills: make a prompt or a header comment and reply to it with the full text. Continuations of fills from earlier rounds: just make sure you link in both places.

What's on-topic: Filthy and perverted twists on all the quality whump served up by Cap: Winter Soldier. Noncon, aftermath, uncomfortably sexualized violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves.
What's off-topic: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, shippy/romanticized noncon, MCU heroes repurposed into OOC or edgydark delivery vehicles for your fave's suffering. If you've got a prompt for one of those burning a hole in your brain, head on over to

mcu_trash.

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Not even my kink but this was so perfectly written while still being the definition of dirty bad wrong at all times. Loved it!

This would be less upsetting if it weren't so well written... Amazing work!

W O W

HYDRA gangrapes the Winter Soldier in front of Steve and makes Steve suck HYDRA cum out of the Soldier's ass.

AA

It’s not my kink either, I have no idea why the hell I wanted to write this haha. But I’m glad you liked it so far!

Basically, after CA:CW, Hydra agents kidnap Zemo and torture him for killing one of their own, killing the winter soldiers and generally messing around with their stuff. Cue torture.

The whos and hows are completely up to you! I just want some delicious, delicious humiliation. Bonus points if the Avengers see it somehow (on TV for example).

I wasn't sure if I was going to finish this but here, enjoy some terrible aftermath!

**

Steve is always touching the scar.

When they are in bed together like this, or when Bucky is leaning against him outside and it’s too warm for a shirt; any time that Bucky is topless and Steve is nearby. Give him long enough, and Steve will end up running his fingers over the thick pale line of skin on Bucky's side, stroking away from it and along Bucky’s belly, then back again. Bucky figures Steve barely realizes that he's doing it, because it usually happens after Steve has been touching him for a while, once he’s all zoned-out and happy and his face is shining like he still doesn’t believe that Bucky is real.

His face is shining like that now. It’s early evening, the light golden and the air warm as it flows in through the open door of the hut Bucky's staying in. Steve is leaning over him on Bucky’s small bed, and even though Steve is naked and very obviously and visibly ready to do a lot more, all he wants to do is kiss Bucky like he can’t believe he is here. Bucky feels relaxed, spoiled, fawned over like a king. Steve's kissing him near his hairline, and his fingers are stroking his bare chest, then back to that scar.

He has never asked Bucky about it. Steve had stopped asking about things like that a long time ago, and that was mostly a good thing, because the answers Bucky had given him about those things (like his arm, or his teeth, or his ribs, or the fainter scars on his back and legs) made Steve upset, and it’s fucking terrible when Steve gets upset.

Steve would never hurt him, would never think of hurting him, Bucky knows that like he knows his own breath—but it’s like his body doesn’t know, and so when Steve gets like that Bucky usually sits without moving at all and keeps his face neutral until Steve is done pacing around and ranting and giving angry speeches about HYDRA and everything else related to them that he can think of, and then usually Bucky excuses himself and goes outside and closes his eyes and makes a fist with his hand until he doesn’t want to punch something or rip his own hair out or yell anymore, until he is okay pretending again.

This particular scar, though—he wouldn’t mind Steve asking about that. Steve wouldn’t be upset, because Bucky would tell him that this one wasn’t so bad.

(He wouldn’t mention the name of the handler who did it, of course. Steve is upset whenever Bucky mentions that name, even if he pretends not to be. Bucky can see the way Steve’s mouth gets all tight and he sits up too straight.)

Bucky wouldn’t mention the name, no, but he’d tell Steve, truthfully, that this particular scar had been a good thing. That the act itself was awful, of course, an agony-blurred nightmare, but that more often than not his handler hadn't wanted to bother with the mess or going to medical, and so had just made a shallow cut over the healed-up scar tissue and then jerked them both off while talking about it instead. And more often than that his handler wouldn’t even go that far; all he had to do when they were alone was run his fingers along that line of paler skin, and Bucky would melt and get all shivery, even though he never quite remembered why. He’d tell Steve, as well, that sometimes when they weren’t alone his handler could just brush that spot with his hand, right through Bucky’s clothes, and how good that had been. It didn’t look like an intimate touch to others, even though it was; it was a secret the two of them had together, and that hidden private connection was nice, so nice, such a good thing to have back when all of him had belonged to everybody.

So when Steve’s fingers run again over the little irregular patch of skin, when he kisses Bucky softly on the mouth and follows up the touch of those fingers with a light stroke of his thumb, Bucky makes a decision that’s half done with his crotch.

He clears his throat, says close to Steve’s mouth: “Do you want to do something special tonight?”

Steve’s draws back a little to look at him, a smile spreading across his face. He looks so blissfully happy, so delighted and surprised that Bucky knows he’s made the right decision. “Yeah,” he says, voice gentle. “Yeah, Buck, I do.”

Bucky feels himself grin back at him, and sits up on the bed.

He doesn’t like to keep his own knives here, not when there’s so many kids around that could find them and get into them, but there’s a little blade that he knows Steve keeps in a hidden pocket in his suit, and since said suit has long since made its way to the floor of the hut, it’s easy to grab it now.

Steve has propped himself up on one elbow on Bucky’s bed: his eyes get wider when he sees what Bucky is carrying, but his mouth doesn’t move. A little line appears between his eyebrows: he’s confused, or worried.

And that’s okay; Bucky hadn’t known all the specifics at first, either.

Bucky lies back down on the bed, blade in hand, settling himself comfortably on the thin pillow and giving Steve a little smirk. Steve continues to look down at him questioningly, his hair all messed up already and sticking up everywhere, the confusion adorable on his stupid handsome face.

Bucky raises his head to lean in very close to him, lips near the perfect shell of his lover’s ear, and whispers the details of what they are going to do.

Then he pulls away, smiling, and rests his head back on the pillow.

Steve looks at him.

Bucky smiles back, wider.

“Oh,” Steve says flatly, and something like a tremor goes through him.

Bucky’s stomach drops and he freezes, because oh god he did it wrong and Steve is going to get upset again after all. He’s going to get upset, going to sit up and make faces and swear about stuff and Bucky will have to leave and go outside, and Bucky has gone and fucking ruined everything again when it was so nice, when it was supposed to be good, when it was supposed to be special.

But this time—for once in his goddamn life—he is in luck.

Because the anger and the pacing and the ranting don't come. Instead, next to him, Steve just lies down on the bed, on his back. He stares up at the thatched ceiling above them in complete silence, and he just keeps staring like that, and he doesn’t get upset at all.

What it says on the tin. I just wanna see him made into a sobbing mess. As an initiation or punishment or literally any other reason.

Massive bonus points if he's in a steady fairly domestic relationship with Rumlow and for whatever reason Rumlow is forced to participate in or observe the trash party happenings even if he really doesn't want to. So it's pretty much non-con for both of them.

I am not sure I want to understand the end of this, but omfg I want to know what Bucky said.

NA: I am pretty damn certain one of them got fucked in the abdomen that night. o______o

I think the bit at the end is Steve doing a Heroic BSOD but Bucky not realizing that because he is still very fucked up.

Oh god I was so worried that Bucky was going to just open up the scar first and *then* invite Steve to fuck him, instead of saying it all sexy-like in Steve's ear.

> "when all of him had belonged to everybody"
I love this line so much. It just so perfectly captures how little Bucky had back then.

Is this the first time that Steve finally "got" Bucky? (As in, reacting in empathy instead of anger?)

SA

and god, the way that Bucky's bringing in this chewed up mouse and laying it at Steve's door like it's a treasured gift... he's like "I want to share an intimate moment with Steve! It's one of the few personal intimacies I had!"

GUH

I actually couldn't really read the first two parts (it was a very quick skim), but I wanted to comment that this ending is AMAZING. I LOVE IT.

AA

Thank you! <3 i don’t blame you for not being able to read most of it, I had to stop and get up and walk away from my laptop once or twice even when I was writing it

AA

Yeah, Steve is supposed to be realizing that 1) such unimaginably terrible things were done to Bucky and 2) Bucky is so messed up and not-recovered that he still doesn’t realize they were terrible. And you can imagine how that would hit Steve.

AA

Oh dear, that would have been bad for poor Steve D:

And yeah it’s supposed to be the first time Steve *really* understands what is going on with Bucky and how bad what happened to him was, but like, it’s not entirely Steve’s fault? Like the last chapter is supposed to be just from Bucky’s unreliable viewpoint: Steve doesn’t *actually* have anger issues, he just gets agitated and upset at the thought of what happened, but because Bucky has adapted himself into being hypervigilant to all negative emotions he reads that as genuine anger and danger.

Whereas, from Steve’s perspective—Bucky has always been fine with Steve getting mad about stuff, maybe once upon a time Bucky even thought it was cute? And Bucky would tell him if he had a problem with something Steve did, because why wouldn’t he? But of course Bucky is now in the habit of hiding his emotions and never says anything, so Steve is oblivious. Steve is not being a jerk, just a bit obtuse.

(I am just a sucker for misunderstandings that are nobody’s fault but which fuck things up anyway. One person’s personality being changed, but he’s still got enough of his old personality left to *hide all his misery from his friend* because he wants to shield him ... it is just so ripe for suffering)

Whenever Hydra guys rape him they also tell Bucky over and over again how repulsive and disgusting he is. That his scars are freakish, that is arm is fucked up, that he is ugly and disgusting looking and that he should be glad that they even touch him. After a while he really starts to believe it.
+ humiliating awfulness like putting a bag on him to cover his face or only referring with it pronouns whenever they talk about him
+ Sad Aftermath where Bucky is so convinced of this that it puts a strain on whatever relationship he has (preferably Stucky but I'm fine with pretty much anything) to the point where he does things like putting an end to the relationship whenever he feels especially awful or can only have sex in the dark, etc
+++ trying to cope with that trauma by replaying those scenarios with his partner

yussss I love these subtle misunderstandings, too!

And don't worry, I totally read it the way you intended. I guess what I was trying to say was that Steve's typical reaction was like "argh, HYDRA is horrible and was mean to Bucky", without the true horror of it actually sinking in -- so he grouses about HYDRA in that "it kinda feels personal" sort of way. But the way Bucky is eagerly sharing this really messed up moment (and perceiving it as a positive, intimate thing) is making Steve realize the full extent of how much HYDRA torture has affected Bucky, so it's morel like "aw noes, buckos ;___;"

I absolutely loved the "Bucky shuts down with displays of anger" bit! It makes so much sense.

oh god this is so horrible I love it

maybe thinking that the partner is lying and can't be trusted if they compliment his looks?

AA

Yes, that’s a good way of putting it! <3 Poor Steve (and poor Bucky obviously). Where do you even start after that?

I'm here for this one.

I THIRDLY SUPPORT THIS

Beautiful and everything I ever wanted.

Pretty please! I want to smack his ass while he can't do anything about it!

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Page 44 of 68

Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

Re: FILL: Gut Feeling (2b/3)

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Felching

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Hydra gets a hold of Zemo

FILL: Gut Feeling (3/3)

Jack Rollins gets trash party'd

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Hydra convinces Bucky that he is repulsive and disgusting

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Re: Hydra convinces Bucky that he is repulsive and disgusting

Re: Cut Steve's balls off

Re: out with the trash

Re: Captain america "Stuck in the wall"