hydratrashmeme | Chatter post

Chatter post

For all your discussion needs.

Ground rules:
- Try to keep it loosely trash party related, or at least Cap fandom related.
- Disagreement is fine, nastiness is not.
- Being offended is not carte blanche for nastiness.
- Trashmeme ground rules apply. Read at your own risk, no romanticizing your noncon garbage, no wank about the moral acceptability of noncon kink.
- Body shots, sniper shots, and tetanus shots are all available at the open bar. Party like it's 2014, kids.

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DA It still made you sound like you only cared about good writers getting comments and encouragement, though, which might be the cause for some upset?

I don't think it's very fair to say the thread got taken over. Not everyone who replies are going to agree with you, and you chose to engage in discussion.

I have proposed constructive ideas to try and raise discussion about how to make our culture more welcoming. You just didn’t like them, and you’re still cross that I disagree with yours. (For the record, I am also the anon who did the link-hunting below on the issue of how to stop old fills getting lost in dead posts.) Your subsequent responses to my ‘hostile’ first comment lack nuance because you’ve chosen to write them that way, not because I have some mystical ability to force you to treat people in ways contrary to your standards or intentions.
I know conflict can be tough to deal with, OP, so do what you’ve got to do. To those of us who haven’t tapped out, I’d just like to reiterate that I think guilt-trips and moral judgements over other people’s commenting practices are really out of line. I don’t think anyone should feel like they’re an asshole if they don’t leave the right amount of comments and I don’t think it is going to make anyone’s life more pleasant if we encourage authors to feel entitled to certain quantities of feedback. I’m more than happy to keep discussing this with other interested anons.

So many of us post and read anonymously, so we *can't track threads*.

Log in, track the thread, and then log back out again. That's what I did, and in fact how I saw this discussion. You don't have to be logged in for DW to send you emails when a thread updates.

I’ve clearly also dipped a little close to asshole territory with my comments on people requesting without filling.
A little? You said some of the most entitled, America-centric bullshit I heard in a long time. "Ableist"'s on top of the list, too.
Jfc, are you just bored enough to attack someone over a mildly annoying comment instead of assuming good faith, or are you one of those people who think being "salty" makes you edgy now?

NA

WOW this was unnecessary

Okay, I have said I wouldn't comment anymore, but thank you for the link below. And, I never said I didn't like the idea, I just didn't think it was highly feasible, and it also came at the end of a rather non-constructive comment.

If you took a post that was meant to be a "heads up, let's appreciate our authors" as a guilt-trip, maybe that says more about you than about me. And you talk of entitlement, but I've seen just as much entitlement in terms of thinking you deserve something from an author while they give it freely (not here specifically, but in fandom in general). No, authors are not entitled to praise, but you're also not entitled to a fill to your prompt, and generally feedback rather helps with that.

I have specified, for the third time now, that what is a good writer is subjective, and I have commented on those I found good in my own subjective opinion.

I'm non-American and disabled and I'm not going to engage with ad hominem attacks. Have already owned that I was out of line, happy to continue discussing it in a non-abusive fashion.

Instead of 'specifying', you could consider apologising to the people you've hurt. That would probably have more impact than continuing to insist that you didn't say anything wrong and we're all just misunderstanding you.

I honestly do not know who's who in this thread anymore, but I'm sorry if anyone felt personally hurt by the good author comment.

To be honest, yes I find it absolutely baffling that this is not the most obvious thing ever.

There's no *if*. I don't know how many people are here either, but there's at least one poster other than me saying explicitly that your comments hurt them. At this point, reading all your responses, I feel like you've pulled every trick in the "shitty manipulative internet argument" handbook - the condescension, the repeated twisting of reasonable arguments to make it seem like you're being unfairly victimised, the insistence in the face of all evidence that you and you alone have good intentions, and now the fauxpology. All that's left now is the dramatic flounce.

AYRT That doesn't have much to do with how the initial comment came across. And as a tip, apologises come across as apologises better if you don't add an "if" to them.

Dude, I'm out. I literally apologized, and that's still not good enough for you. If anyone's words have been constantly twisted, it have been mine.

I literally started out with a positive message of trying to get some love for our authors, but I was jumped on for my choice of title, my choice of words, and now attempts to elaborate are "shitty manipulative arguments".

I though this dumpster was a cool, welcoming (albeit no-nonsense place), but all I find here is bitterness.

What on earth was the point of this comment? We get it. You've said nothing wrong, ever in your whole life. The only reason we're arguing at all is because every other participant in this conversation is mean and bitter and doesn't appreciate your uwu good intentions. And now you're turning your flounce into some kind of performance art? Dude. If you're out, just be out. If you don't want to fight, don't.

This dumpster is a pretty cool place as it is, imo. We can always improve - everyone can - but we don't need random anons coming out of nowhere to save us from our terrible no-good commenting practices like the world's pettiest and most patronising hero. I don't actually know why you thought it would be a good idea to try and boss around a community this famously oppositional, but...well, live and learn, I hope.

You know the sad thing, dear anon? I'm not a random anon, and chances are we might even know each other. That only makes it sadder, really. I didn't post under my name because it was a personal opinion, and felt it shouldn't matter, but now I sort of regret I didn't.

I thought you were out?

But if you're regretting not putting this under your own name, you're welcome to deanon. We may well have crossed paths, though I doubt we're close - you are hitting every single one of my red flags for manipulative pass-agg bullshit.

Whereas your bullshit is just straight-up agg?

The OP's first post was a well-meaning but poorly-phrased idea, and it doesn't seem to me that riding to battle on your white charger with trumpets blaring has done much to increase understanding; before you start defending all our honor, it might in the future behoove you to check and make sure we think our honor needs defending.

Though I must admit, the random 'America-centric' thing at least gave a chuckle.

Hi there, NA-who-is-definitely-not-OP-sameanoning.

I'm not here to defend anyone's honour or increase understanding. I got a bit pissed off by OP's tone deaf lecture, and then I got even more pissed off by how shocked and indignant they were not to meet with universal gratitude and agreement for their post.

But I'm not the only person in this thread - the most vocally pissed off, perhaps, but not the only. So if you'd like to fight me too, the 'you're the only person who feels this way' tack is unlikely to work.

I just look at the main htp community and scroll down to see if any of the old threads have more comments than they did before. They usually don't. If they do, I look in flatview. In defense of this strategy, I really have no life whatsoever.

Oh please. More than one person got ticked off by the patronising approach.

I actually never thought of doing that! Nice one, nonnie.

Don't believe I said you were the only person who felt anything. You're just the one who rode into the fight.

Me, I'd enjoy getting more comments on stuff, sure! But the odds of getting any result I like from going, "Hey, you all oughtta tell me-I-mean-AUTHORS more about how cool my fics are"? Not high.

Not, in fact, any better than the odds that shouting at the OP is going to cause anything but getting their back up...as it did. Well done. Give yourself a hand. You have successfully scorned the ham-handedness and leapt bravely down the throat of someone who (gasp) misread the room. That's exactly what this meme needs more of, right, excoriating each other? Because it's not like we've got plenty of outsiders happy to do it for us.

I can't do a slow clap for you in text, so you'll just have to imagine it.

And, you know, maybe consider cooling your damn jets and rolling your eyes next time. Ringing silence gets the "that was dumb" message across just as well.

Ringing silence gets the "that was dumb" message across just as well

I am laughing so hard at the unchecked irony of this.

You're learning.

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