hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by

greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.

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Oh gosh, this is so, so encouraging to hear, thank you so much - and also: sorry for all the horrible things I'm putting Bucky through!

I'm glad that the characterisation works for you - I struggled with it, a little, considering that in terms of actual canon there's really not that much to go on, which on the plus side gives more room for interpretation. In this fill, I tried to communicate the idea that despite having his capacity for introspection + deeper thought stripped away by the mindwipes, i.e his ability to analyse what's going on around him, he still had a little piece of Brooklyn stubbornness buried deep.

It's weird, in some ways it's easy to write from his perspective but in other ways it's a lot more challenging, like - the limit on his self-awareness restricts what kind of information would be included in his point of view - I was nervous that it might read as too simple, but I'm glad it worked for you! One thing I made a point of doing was, when the asset is making comparisons between things, to always be comparing the sensation to something violent, something painful - like that's all he has to compare anything to. And now I've made myself sad again.

I was thinking of writing a short scene set some time after the helicarriers fall and the Winter Soldier is tracking down ex-handlers, and then a little porn-coda set a few months after that once he's reunited with Steve (and maybe Sam) with probably some hints of what he went through but mostly just happy, sexy stuff - I can pretty much only handle HTP stuff if I know that, after all the horrible pain and suffering, Bucky ends up happy.

(New anon.) It's not at all too simple; your intentions are coming through great and I, at least, cannot wait to read the follow-up scenes.

Sorry for the seriously late reply, but OP here, and wow, author anon, you are killing it! Your Winter Soldier voice must be a trick and a half to pull off; it's this very effective, real-seeming mix of detached, simplified, and desperately human. The clinical way he views his own body and processes information makes the tragic emotionality that shines through even worse. The way he experiences his rapes, as an incomprehensible and horrifying way of being damaged, his dawning realization that he can damage himself to avoid punishment, leading to the suicide attempt that broke my heart -- what is this you're writing, where the protagonist survives suicide and that's the more terrible option? I loooove this and I look forward to more!

Ooer. If you ever wanna post those things you've been nervous about posting, I can tell you right now you have a captive audience. (It's me! I am that audience! Though, given who and where we are, it's probably not just me.)

(OP) this comment is sort of tragically late, for which I very much apologize, but! This was another great chapter!

Things I loved especially:

- Steve having his own issues with the ice and cold, but pushing past them because he really wants to give Bucky what he's asking for

- for that matter, Steve's complicated reaction, the way Bucky's stories and actions both arouse and horrify him, is PERFECT. like maybe it's not fun to hear about Hydra fondling Bucky right out of cryo, but it is hot to ice and rub his nipples, and the mixture there of sex and trash is so great

- Bucky stumbling into a hard no and then needing to be sweet-talked into respecting his own boundaries! Yessss

- the details Bucky gives about Blackwell, specifically that he never fucked him, and then how he amends that to 'at least not alone'! Just shows you how fucked up and extensive Bucky's abuse was; like individual rapes barely count in a gang rape

YOUR WRITING IS REALLY GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD.

I appreciate your comments whenever they appear! I promise I am still writing more of this, just slowly.

I'm glad you like it! Bucky's definitely not paying enough attention to Steve, and Steve isn't really paying enough attention to himself either. Steve's trying, but he's not remotely prepared for this.

I really want to read the follow up story and I wondered if anyone knows if it is posted?

Unless Steve doesn't see, and he's just indignant "I thought you trusted me!"

Yeah, they're not quite through this yet. :D

:D :D :D :D :D

I made a dark, terrible bargain.

Well, Natasha implied that he COULDN'T, so.

okay but what if he splits the difference and understands but is furious anyway? :D?

That really seems the most likely.

*crosses fingers that replying to our comments means the next part will be up soon because this fic gets me right in the biological imperative, every goddamn time*

I can only hope/assume that big ol grin means there is untold emotional agony in store for them!!!

He drifted in and out of sleep, aware sometimes of Natasha or Steve starting to nurse again. Steve always followed when Natasha started, but sometimes while she was limp with sleep Bucky would feel one strong pull from Steve's mouth, as though he had woken up and had to remind himself that it was real. Bucky's right hand rested sometimes on the back of Steve's neck, sometimes on the crown of his head, fingers moving gently through his hair as Bucky coaxed him to stay in place.

Before dawn, when Natasha's bedroom was murky gray with the first light creeping under the curtains, Bucky woke up to the opposite sensation. He felt cold air on his nipple and the damp skin around it, and a weight lifting. He opened his eyes and saw Steve looking back at him.

Steve was wide awake. For maybe the first time all night, Bucky felt wide awake too, absolutely aware of what he'd done in the darkness last night, the anxious nightmare that had faded into such a good dream.

Steve stayed motionless, and Bucky still couldn't read his eyes; in this light they looked colorless and dark. After a second Bucky recognized what was pressing against his thigh, and why Steve was holding so very still. Bucky looked away from Steve's face to check whether Natasha was awake. In the half-second it took him to see her open eyes--definitely awake, mildly amused--Steve flung himself off the bed and bolted from the room like his tail was on fire.

Natasha pushed away from Bucky, giving him a shove as good as a shout: go after him.

Bucky went, rolling up to his feet and running after Steve, out of Natasha's apartment and down the corridor outside. Steve made for the stairs instead of the elevator and Bucky followed suit, racing after him to their floor and the door to their apartment.

Bucky was a couple of strides behind when he burst through the door and finally found his voice. "Steve."

Steve froze, there in the no man's land between kitchen and living room, bedroom and bathroom doors ahead of him. He didn't turn back.

"Where the hell are you going?" Bucky demanded.

They should be done with this now. The secret was out, and Steve hadn't shied away from him. If only in the dark, in the quiet, if only because Bucky said he needed it, Steve had accepted what Bucky wanted to give him. Steve had stayed with him all night. Why the hell was he running now?

"I need a shower," Steve said, his voice tightly controlled, and it wasn't like that was a secret. Bucky had been waking up with Steve's hard-on pressed against him practically since Steve was old enough to wake up with one.

"Steve," Bucky said, softer, letting his mind and body shift gears. It wasn't hard to see Steve as Steve again here in their apartment, and not Styopochka alongside his Natashenka. Bucky was as good as empty anyway; by the time he got Steve off he'd probably be ready for Steve to return the favor.

"I know. What are you running away for?"

"What am I--"

Bucky fell back a step, startled by the furious vehemence leaking through Steve's voice.

Steve kept still another moment, his hands flexing at his sides before closing into fists as he swung around to face Bucky. He had a look on his face like he wasn't just angry but righteously fed up, like he'd been pushed too far, one too many times.

And he was aiming that look at Bucky.

"Go back downstairs," Steve said, his voice controlled again. "Go back to Natasha. I get it."

Bucky stood his ground. "I've told you before, when I want to be in Natasha's bed I'll be there. I came after you, now will you just--"

"No," Steve said, low and final, stopping Bucky short.

"No, I will not just." Steve stalked forward, step by slow step, and Bucky registered for the first time that Steve was still in uniform--the slightly toned-down training version, but he'd come straight from working with Wanda to Bucky, stayed all night in Natasha's bed, and now he was fully armored in Captain America as he bore down inexorably on Bucky, backing him up against the door.

"I will not," Steve said. "Just anything. So you should go, Bucky, because I know this is one of those parts of you that you don't want me mixed up in, and I hate it."

Bucky stared at him, more baffled than intimidated. "I don't know what you're remembering about last night, pal, but from where I was lying, you mixed--"

Steve lunged into him, kissing Bucky roughly as he ground his hips into Bucky's, holding him against the door with the weight of his body. Bucky let him, for a couple of beats, greedy for the feel of Steve's body on his, the closeness he'd been missing for days. As soon as Bucky pushed back, though, Steve shifted, breaking the kiss and getting one hand on Bucky's chest.

He pressed the heel of his hand into Bucky's pec, shield callus slick and hard against Bucky's nipple, still sensitive from a long night's use. He was still pressed against Bucky from the waist down, his cock rubbing against Bucky through his clothes, and Bucky was seized with a dizzy sensation of things colliding all wrong.

He squirmed, making a protesting noise, and Steve jerked away from him at once, falling back a couple of steps.

He looked less angry now, but not sorry.

He looked defeated, and the sight of that foreign emotion on Steve's face made Bucky feel sicker than any of it.

"I know," Steve said quietly. "I know. That's why--because you have what you have with Natasha, and you have what you have with me, and they're not the same to you. You slice things up like that, you always did. This piece for your family, this piece for your friends at work, this for the guys at the club. One piece for me, and I'm only allowed across the lines where you say I am. I always wanted more, I always wanted all of you, but you never..."

"Stevie," Bucky said helplessly.

He remembered--thought he remembered, though he should know better than to trust that--all the spaces between them, pushed apart by Steve's pride and his own need to be ready for the time when Steve wouldn't be his anymore. Hadn't that been the way it was? Hadn't he turned away because he had to? He had to have something else in his life that wasn't Steve--a lot of something else, to fill the space that little body took up. He had to have somewhere to go. Some bolthole, some backup plan. And Steve always wanted breathing room, always--

"You said I wasn't your Ma enough times," Bucky blurted.

Steve's eyebrows went up and he gave an incredulous unhappy laugh. "This wouldn't have been my reaction to sharing a bed with my Ma, Bucky. But that's what I'm telling you. You're all the same to me, not James here and the soldier there, not--whatever you were when Natasha was six years old. I know it's not sex for you and her, but--hell, seeing you handle a rifle makes me want to suck your dick. I can't have my mouth on you and not want everything else too. I always wanted more than you--"

It was Bucky's turn to lunge, cutting Steve off with a kiss that was mostly a clash of teeth.

"You couldn't," Bucky snarled. "You couldn't ever want more than I wanted. I just knew wanting didn't matter. I couldn't have you, not forever."

"We're here now, Bucky." Steve's hands were on his ass, pressing Bucky in. He felt a giddy rush like falling, but what did it matter if he did? He would follow Steve anywhere. "You've got me now, and it's your own goddamn fault if--"

Bucky kissed him harder this time, felt the heat of blood between their mouths as somebody's lip split under the force. Steve growled and pushed, and Bucky pushed back.

"Not up against the fucking door, Steve--"

"I held still for you for six fucking hours, I can't--"

Bucky shoved harder, moving Steve a few more steps toward the bedroom, and Steve gave in and took the initiative, hauling Bucky with him as he covered the distance to the bedroom in long, fast strides. Bucky recognized the angle of Steve's grip on his arm and the target of his momentum as soon as they were through the door, and he let it happen: Steve swung him around and threw him down on the bed.

*claps hands, giggles maniacally*

Steve tackled him, like he might have to hold Bucky down, but Steve's weight on him was as much what Bucky wanted now as it had been an hour ago. When he put his hands up it was only to grab at the fastenings of Steve's uniform, not so much in the hope that he'd get them undone but to remind Steve that he should.

Steve clamped his knees tight around Bucky's hips, but straightened up and peeled out of the top half of his uniform and the shirt underneath. Bucky did his own part, getting his jeans open and shoved down as far as Steve's grip allowed. When Steve gave in to necessity and stood up to finish undressing, Bucky sat up and got out of his boots--oh God, that felt good. He hadn't realized until he'd unlaced them how long he'd had his boots on. He shoved his pants and socks off in a heap, falling back naked a half second before Steve was on him again, his hands going for Bucky's chest as he rubbed his hard cock against Bucky's hip.

Bucky didn't bother holding back the reflex to push him away, the right-wrong uncanniness of it. Steve held on with one leg wrapped around Bucky's, so Bucky only managed to roll them over, pinning Steve's wrists and kissing him roughly. Steve arched up against him, his cock sliding along Bucky's. Bucky was half-hard, his whole body hungry for the press of Steve's skin against his--and his nipples were throbbing, his chest feeling heavy and sensitive. Bucky shivered at the contrast of sensations, and that dizzy falling sensation hit him again.

Steve surged up under him and flipped him, pinning him to the bed, and this time Steve straddled him, planting his weight on Bucky's thighs. He curled down over Bucky, and Bucky writhed in anticipation, letting out a groan even before Steve's mouth closed on his chest. Steve sucked hard, drawing a fresh surge of milk from him, and in the beat while Steve was swallowing, Steve's hand closed on Bucky's cock.

Bucky sobbed out loud as he arched up into Steve's mouth and Steve's hand. Steve kept both coordinated, nursing from him in the same rhythm he stroked Bucky's cock. Bucky couldn't ignore the way it felt good, the pleasure of feeding Steve, the electric feeling of Steve's tongue pressed against his nipple and the grip of his mouth, tighter than the grip of his hand. It was too much, strange and out of place, and his body couldn't guide him through this.

But that was what he had Steve for.

Steve switched sides, planting his mouth on Bucky's left side and nursing there, drinking what Natasha hadn't taken in the night. Bucky's cock was straining, and Steve tilted his hips down, rubbing his against Bucky's thigh, taking friction where he could find it.

Bucky wanted more.

"Steve, Stevie," Bucky grabbed Steve by the hair and tugged.

Steve looked down at Bucky with his mouth hanging open, a trickle of milk running from the corner of his mouth.

"Fuck me," Bucky demanded, pushing up into Steve's grip.

Steve shook his head and gave Bucky's cock another squeeze with one hand, kneading at his chest with the other. "Other way. Just like this."

Bucky groaned and shoved at Steve's hand, but Steve kept it planted on his chest and let go of Bucky's cock to reach for the lube in the night stand drawer. Bucky managed to grab it from him once brought it in range. Steve acted like he meant for Bucky to do that part, scooting up Bucky's body and splaying his knees out wide.

This much Bucky could let his body do on automatic. Steve didn't distract him while Bucky was getting his fingers slick and pressing them into Steve, opening him up. Neither of them had the patience to do more than get him wet; Steve's teeth scraped his throat and Bucky was already pulling his fingers free. He slicked up his own cock and lined it up, pressing against Steve's ass, and Steve sank down in a hot, tight rush.

Bucky's breath went out of him at the sensation of being inside him; it was always familiar but it never got less intense. Steve kept still for a few breaths, kissing Bucky's throat and rocking his hips with Bucky's cock buried inside him.

Bucky closed his eyes, because he knew something else was coming; he knew Steve wasn't going to let this be simple, or only one thing. His hands closed into fists on the bedsheets as Steve's weight shifted on top of him, and then Steve's mouth was on his chest again, latching on firmly. Bucky shuddered at the dissonance, the sweetness of Steve's mouth and the clutch of Steve's ass.

Steve sucked and swallowed, and Bucky's hips bucked up at the shattering pleasure of it, all of it. All of Stevie, and all of him. Bucky's left hand was on Steve's ass, his right on the nape of Steve's neck, holding him close everywhere. Steve rocked back and forth over him, working his cock, tugging at his tit, taking everything Bucky could give him.

Bucky rolled them over again, landing close to the edge of the bed but not off it. He braced on his left arm, keeping his right hand on the back of Steve's neck to press him close while Bucky fucked him hard and fast. Steve sucked harder in response, brutally strong and in the same rhythm of Bucky's thrusts. He kneaded at Bucky's chest on the other side, spilling what milk he had left over Steve's fingers.

Bucky growled and shoved at Steve's neck, pushing him to latch on the other side as he fucked him in short, hard strokes. "You want it? You want me? Don't fucking waste it."

Steve bit down hard, making Bucky tighten his grip, but then he latched and sucked again. Bucky's hand gentled to a cradling hold by sheer reflex.

Bucky shifted his knees, correcting the angle of his hips until it felt right for what he wanted. He fucked Steve in the rhythm that would make him come. Steve moaned against his chest, the rhythm of his suckling broken, and Bucky felt the brush of his hand as he reached for his own cock.

"No you don't, babydoll." Bucky's voice came out breathy and hollow. He didn't have anything more to spare for talking. "Let me give you this. Let me."

Steve groaned but let his hand fall, sucking fitfully as Bucky kept fucking him just right. Bucky felt Steve's body stringing tighter with pleasure, until Steve was too busy letting out helpless little cries to nurse. He still kept his mouth pressed to Bucky's chest, muffling the sounds until Steve let his head fall back, gasping almost silently. Bucky knew what that meant, snapping his hips in hard to fuck Steve over the edge.

Steve gave a low cut-off moan of defeat as he came. Bucky felt the splash of Steve's come against his belly as Steve's ass tightened rhythmically on his cock.

"Come on," Steve demanded, sounding breathless and drunk, before he'd even finished coming. "Bucky, come on, come on, give it to me--"

His mouth found Bucky's chest again, teeth scraping up Bucky's chest to his abused nipple. His tongue touched lightly, teasing or just lapping up what had spilled. Bucky groaned and tucked his face down against Steve's hair as he buried himself deep one more time and came, the weird goodness of it finally dissolved in pure brain-blanking pleasure.

Bucky held himself up over Steve, panting, until Steve gave him a gentle push. He settled on his side then, face to face with Steve, one leg still hooked over Steve's to keep him close. The sun was properly up now; Steve's eyes were very blue in the early golden light, and his wet lips were very pink.

Bucky kissed him, and when he licked into Steve's mouth he tasted milk, warm and sweet on Steve's tongue. He twitched sleepily, and Steve pulled back, breath huffing out in a lazy laugh.

"C'mon, Buck, it tastes better than jizz, and you kiss me when I've got that in my mouth."

"It's weird," Bucky muttered, not very convincingly because he was already half asleep.

"Hey," Steve said, sounding serious.

Bucky opened his eyes.

"Do you--should you go back to Natasha? I really didn't mean to take you away from her when she needs you."

Bucky gave Steve's earnest face the skeptical look it deserved. "Should I go back to Natasha now that you've got me all naked and fucked out and covered in jizz and fresh out of milk for her?"

Steve looked slightly ashamed of himself, but he hooked his ankle over Bucky's at the same time. Bucky snorted and shook his head.

"She'll be all right for a few hours, I'll go feed her up again at lunchtime."

He'd barely finished speaking before Steve was sliding over, squishing him into the mattress. "You're mine for now, then."

Bucky hid his smile against Steve's hair. "Yeah, Stevie. I'm all yours."

thiiiiis is brilliant. 100% hella rad. i'm kind of new to actually commenting/participating, and i'm sorry and ahhh. but.

as a whole, this is just GREAT. it's a really neat role for bucky, to see him as not a weapon, not a warrior, not even really a protector - but a caregiver, and it echoes through everything he's involved in, including the way he interacts with wanda.

steve's frustration is so easy to understand, as is bucky's reluctance and if all that had to happen to lead us to THIS part of the story... aight. ALRIGHT. i am here for that, holy effing crow. many kudos, such bravo, well fucking done.

this is just so so good

hahahaha. Bucky's been thoroughly milked on both ends. Bravo! <333

(OP) Your writing is amazing and I'm so glad they've reconciled, don't get me wrong, but after nine sections of story with the milk being Not A Sex Thing, this was actually kind of disturbing in the bad way. Is that the point, like Bucky's going to be upset that Steve took something parental and made it A Sex Thing? Or are *you* trying to make it A Sex Thing?

Aw, man, OP, I'm sorry this turn was disturbing for you! Bucky still thinks it's weird, but he's okay with doing Not A Sex Thing during sex with Steve (and it's a little bit complicated because it is physically intimate and physically pleasurable, so during sex it's kinda sexy, but the rest of the time not--I mean, this is in fact basically like a person who is lactating to feed their kid and has a partner who wants to play with their tits; it can be sex and not-sex in different contexts). (Part 11 is about milk being Mainly Still Not A Sex Thing, and Steve cooperating with the Not A Sex Thing nature of it outside of his and Bucky's bed.)

Okay, that'll probably be fine for me then :) Thanks for getting back so quickly, and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about your writing or anything (it's not you, it's me :P)

Oh wow, I love finding out kinks I didn't know I had!! Can't wait for the final part, love it!!

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Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

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