trashmod: (Default)
garbage all the way down ([personal profile] trashmod) wrote in [community profile] hydratrashmeme2015-09-09 07:23 pm

Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Holy shitballs, look at us go. Welcome to Captain America fandom's resident wretched hive of scum and villainy: ROUND THREE. AKA Bad Guys Do Dirtybadwrong Things To Your Faves, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Round 2] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by [personal profile] greenkirtle)] [Round 3 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 3 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 4.

not every survivor develops PTSD

(Anonymous) 2015-09-24 01:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Trauma is different for everyone, right? How can we exploit this for trash purposes?

Steve and Bucky are both captured by Hydra, who subjects them to terrible amounts of torture, degradation, abuse, and rape. Eventually they're rescued, but not before serious horrors have been heaped upon them both.

Then, in the aftermath, one of them (no preference who) develops severe PTSD, and the other just... doesn't. Not that that person isn't hurting, but the trauma doesn't manifest in a way that fits a PTSD diagnosis, and perhaps isn't as severe as the way the PTSD-sufferer is experiencing. So imagine Steve and Bucky, one of them sleepless from nightmares, tense with hypervigilance, loaded with triggers, beset by flashbacks, in agony, feeling so so weak in comparison to the other, who is experiencing a weird survivor's guilt despite also having been victimized, and is probably ignoring and dismissing his own trauma because it's not as bad.

Re: not every survivor develops PTSD

(Anonymous) 2015-09-25 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooo I really like this. What if it's Bucky who isn't all that traumatized by it? Sure, it was awful and he absolutely hated it, but he's so used to being raped by hydra that he's just learned how to push his feelings of disgust and revulsion out of the picture so that he can keep going. He's just Not Dealing With It. And maybe he will experience some PTSD later on when he actually does start to deal with it, or maybe he won't.

Meanwhile, Steve is suffering these horrible nightmares and he flinches away whenever someone touches him without warning, and he's really confused about why Bucky isn't reacting the way he is. He starts to think that maybe he's overreacting and it really wasn't as bad as he thinks it is, or that he's weak for feeling this way. And you know how stoic Steve is. That'd make him work extra hard to suppress everything and act like he's fine.

I wonder if Steve knows about Bucky's past rapes though? Maybe Bucky's hidden this from him and the other avengers so that he can keep on Not Dealing With It. Or maybe he told Steve about it all nonchalant like, in an attempt to make it seem like he isn't that fucked up by it. Or maybe Steve and everyone else found out by accident when like a video clip or something of him being raped was released on the internet. But whatever the case, Bucky's blasé attitude about it just makes him doubt himself even more and he shuts in on himself and just suffers the anxiety in silence until he bursts

Re: not every survivor develops PTSD

(Anonymous) 2015-09-28 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, I love this. If Bucky's the one who isn't displaying dramatic trauma symptoms, well, we, the readers, can connect that to the way he's had to numb himself to abuse in order to survive the years of it. But Steve's own trauma and history would obscure that line of thinking. Plus, if he knows about Bucky's history of rape, he wouldn't just be comparing himself to his Bucky's reaction to this incident; he'd be thinking that Bucky endured decades of this treatment (and Steve now understands that pain firsthand), he had it so much worse than Steve, and he's still taking it better.

I like it both ways, though! Because if Steve is the one who's game-facedly soldiering on while Bucky breaks down, then we get Bucky who's suddenly faced with a fear confirmed: he really is weaker than other people. I imagine that Bucky's been repeatedly assured, by Steve in particular, that anyone subjected to the torture he was put through would also have been broken and molded into the Winter Soldier. Even Steve himself, the model of stubborn unbreakableness. It's not a weakness inherent in Bucky. Except apparently it is, because here's Steve, who has now been subjected to the same tortures, and he's... doing alright? While Bucky, who should be practiced at bearing this, is a disaster.

Re: not every survivor develops PTSD

(Anonymous) 2015-09-28 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
Ans as if Bucky experiencing PTSD wasn't bad enough, imagine if he'd healed quite a bit between his Return To Steve and then being recaptured by hydra. Like, he's finally learned to deal w his abuse, he's having fewer nightmares, he's triggered less often, and smiling and laughing more... But then he and Steve are captured and he's subjected to more torture and he relapses so hard. It might even be worse than the first time he escaped bc back then, he thought he'd never be in their hands again. He was so sure that he was strong enough to fight back against them or anyone else who tries to abuse him, but he was wrong. And he's terrified that it's just gonna keep happening again and again. And meanwhile, Steve isn't reacting nearly as strongly as he is. It doesn't matter how many times Steve tells him that he is also fucked up by it, and that it's not a sign of weakness that Bucky's hit so hard by PTSD. He just feels so damn helpless and like he's gonna go crazy and he just wants to scream