hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Holy shitballs, look at us go. Welcome to Captain America fandom's resident wretched hive of scum and villainy: ROUND THREE. AKA Bad Guys Do Dirtybadwrong Things To Your Faves, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

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Round 3 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 4.

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Inspired by that incredible scene in "come round full circle" where Bucky offers to let Tony brand his own mark onto him.

Hydra marks its property, and Bucky has a hydra logo branded or scarred into him. Much later, when the gang is back together, he is injured in a mission and the mark discovered. Crossed out and a similar one of Steve's star or the avengers logo has been carefully put in right next to it. He is their property now.

The group's horrified reaction, and mass heartbreak

Bonus: Bucky reacts to the original horrified reaction by apologising and promising to remove the hydra mark, he just couldn't find the acid to melt it off in the lab.

*whimpers* yes please

YES YES YES YES

Please, it is very sorry, it knows who it belongs to, it *does*.

I'd love to have a go at this! Anyone got any preferences re pairing or not?

Op is delighted! Whatever works for you, I'm happy either way :D

Looking forward to this if you are still keen :)

For a long time the Asset had forgotten what it was to want. It had known pain, and fear, and hunger, but it had not wanted them to end, because it had forgotten they could end. Its existence was just pain, and there was no way of changing it.

Then it had met the Captain, on the bridge, and things had changed. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, it had wanted. It had wanted to escape from the man who was there, the man who brought so many feelings to the fore and left him feeling sick.

It had forgotten how to feel. It had forgotten what to think, how to be human, and the Captain had tried to bring that idea back.

Yet not too long after it had changed its mind in what it wanted. It wanted to feel that confusion. It wanted to be near the Captain. It had realised that on the helicarrier, when the Captain had changed its mind by refusing to fight it.

So to know that was what it wanted was amazing. It wanted to be near the Captain, and wanted to be good. Wanted to please him.

It stayed near the Captain after that. It worked with the Avengers, fought, did everything it could do to please them. It wanted to make them happy. And they did seem happy, in a way. They would listen to it, and ask it what it wanted. They would praise it.

Everything about its life now was remarkable. It had never expected to get this, never hoped for it. But getting it now, that was incredible, and it wanted to stay there.

Most of the time, it could only think about its new life. It cooked dinner sometimes, which was good, and it was praised. The only problem was when it came to getting clean. When it was washing, it could only see the Hydra logo, blazed across its chest over its heart. There were other problems as well. The lines of ancient scars written across its body, scrawled insults and tallies and cuts just for fun. But it was the Hydra logo, proclaiming their ownership that made it feel sick every time it saw itself. That was the cause of its shame.
It wasn't right, to have that ownership when the Avengers had made it so welcome, had been so patient. It should be theirs, not Hydra's.

So it had to change. It had to become theirs. It understood that. It got to cook dinner, and that was its chance. It grabbed a knife when it was cooking, slipping the knife into its pocket and then sneaking it back to its room. That was good. It was happy, because it could fix the cause of its shame.

They all ate together. They were laughing, they were talking and the Captain's hand was on his shoulder, reassuring him.
"This is brilliant." Bruce said softly. That was Bruce, the man who became the Hulk. The doctor. It felt like it was preening at the praise, relishing being told it was good even more than normal, because it was good, and it could keep that praise. This time it deserved it. Life was good.

The knife in his pocket was a familiar weight as he ate. It washed up quickly, helped by the sniper, and then the others went to watch a film. Sometimes it joined them, but it knew now that they weren't going to make use of it, so it could excuse itself.

It headed straight up to its bedroom. It took off its shirt, and decided to get to work. The scar on its chest was a huge cut, it wouldn't be easy to remove. But it could fix this. It started off taking deep breaths, and then sliced across his chest, in thin lines. They disfigured that, even if they didn't remove it. It was a start to getting clean.

Blood trickled down its chest as it completed the crosshatching, smiling to itself.

The new cut would hurt. The new cut would hurt a lot, it knew that, and it took deep breaths to keep it calm. It felt sick. But this would be good. It belonged to the Avengers now, and it wanted to see that every time it saw itself. It wanted to be happy.

It wanted the team to know as well. When they saw it later, they would know how proud it was of the fact it belonged, that it never doubted who it was and who it belonged to.

It would probably have to recut the scars often, but it understood that. Any kind of pain would be worthwhile if it meant that it could be the Avengers, and proudly so. It admired its reflection. The cuts were neat, and while it wasn't in the proper place yet, more in the centre of the chest than over his heart, for now it would be suitable. It was sure the Avengers would be pleased with it.

It didn't need to be ashamed of its naked body anymore. It didn't need to try and hide, it just could be itself.

So as the temperature climbed and the sun shone, it didn't hesitate to strip off in front of the others. They were all playing near the pool that Stark had provided - Bruce was sat in a sun lounger, the Captain and the Archer were splashing in the pool, and Romanoff was relaxing in the water sipping some kind of drink that was green and had slices of fruit floating in it. Thor was banned from the pool, but he was lounging nearby. Stark and Miss Potts were together in the water, and Miss Potts looked younger and more carefree than she had for a long time. All of them did. It was beautiful.

It had hidden its body before. Kept its shirt on, muttered, and ducked into the shade. But it didn't need to hide any more. It smiled at that idea as it pulled off its shirt, planning to dive into the water.

For a moment a memory flashed in front of its eyes. That had happened a lot recently. It was remembering sunshine, a hot day, and a small figure. It was the wrong height. What it could see wasn't right. It was as though it was looking from lower down, but it was happy, it knew that much. The small blond beside it was laughing, and it jumped into the water with him.

"What is that?" That was Romanoff, and her voice was level. It wasn't the good kind of level. It was the kind of level that meant somebody was angry, and that scared it. It blinked, looking around in case it had done something wrong, but it could see nothing.

Bruce was on his feet, walking over towards it.
"Let me..."

It smiled broadly, waiting for them to realise. They had been so reasonable, so understanding about everything since it had first arrived, that it didn't need to worry about their attitude about the misplacement. They would understand, it believed that, was certain of the fact.

Bruce's hand rested on its chest, and he frowned slightly, poking at the reddened skin around the most recent cut.
"That's fresh."

"Couldn't do it earlier." It tried to explain. "For a long time, I couldn't..." It swallowed. "You wouldn't let me near any knives. You were too worried about me using them to injure myself."

The Captain heaved himself out of the water, and made his way over to him, drenched in water. He frowned slightly.
"What?" He started to ask, then swore. "Buck, why would you-"
"I wanted to prove it." It said softly, starting to panic. It had done everything it could do to make them happy, and they weren't reacting like they were happy. They should have been overjoyed, or at least slightly pleased that it had acknowledged its place, that it had acknowledged that it belonged to them. But the look in their eyes, that was wrong.

It started to feel crowded when the archer walked over as well, whistling low. It wanted to panic, to run away, but it knew that wouldn't solve anything. With this the only way out was through, and it stood frozen, waiting for the shouting to start, and for someone to explain what it had done wrong. It wondered if the letter might be backwards, but it had been too careful for that. It was always careful about that kind of thing, didn't want to disappoint them.

They looked disappointed.

Re: Fill: Marks of Ownership (1/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-23 06:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Marks of Ownership (1/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-23 20:37 (UTC) - Expand

Fill: Marks of Ownership (2/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-12 17:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Marks of Ownership (2/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-12 21:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Marks of Ownership (2/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-13 04:57 (UTC) - Expand

COMPLETE Fill: Marks of Ownership (3/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-18 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: COMPLETE Fill: Marks of Ownership (3/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-19 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: COMPLETE Fill: Marks of Ownership (3/3)

keerawa - 2016-08-25 05:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: COMPLETE Fill: Marks of Ownership (3/3)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-25 17:32 (UTC) - Expand

Apparently I've got a thing for brands and marks, eeep. This is just a quick thing that came to me as soon as I saw this prompt and it doesn't really cover the team's reactions. I'm looking forward to the fill that the other author!anon is working on!!

-----

It was a stupid mistake and all his own fault.

HYDRA would never have stood for anything close to this kind insubordination—they would have beaten it out of him long before it got this far. But his new handlers (no, goddammit, his friends, his new friends) have been so kind, so lax with the rules and… Bucky has grown complacent. Lazy.

They’re all staring at him now; they’ve got him surrounded in a horseshoe around the hospital bed, all their faces dark with anger or contorted with dismay. No means of escape.

Not that Bucky would dream of trying to run from them—this is all his own fucking fault and he deserves whatever punishment they want to mete out.

He’s still clutching his t-shirt in his hands; he resists the urge to pull it on, to cover himself up. Bucky hunches his shoulders, lowers his head. He tries to look as repentant, as acquiescent as he can. It’s not hard—he’s so fucking sorry.

Stark was the one who spotted it first. It figures. Stark is the one most tuned to logos and marks of ownership. One second he’d been joking with Clint on the other side of the bed, making some quip about getting shawarma now that the last of them was finally released from the hospital—but then he’d fallen ominously silent between one word and the next.

Bucky felt the unease prickle in his skin even before Stark opened his mouth again—

“Barnes, what the fuck is that?”

And then they’d all seen. They’d all gone behind him to look, and all Bucky could do was wring the t-shirt in his hands and wish like fuck that he’d had the presence of mind to ask them to leave before changing into his clothes. But that’s not fair. His handl—his friends had a right to inspect his body as much as they wanted; it’d been wrong of him to try to hide it in the first place.

But even more wrong than that was the fuckup he’d made of the new brand.

“Bucky, why do you have that—that on your back?” Steve’s voice is tight, like he’s making an effort to keep from yelling. He’s so generous. They all are. They haven’t even started punishing him yet, they’re giving him a chance to explain. Bucky doesn’t deserve their kindness. He lowers his head and waits for correction.

The silence stretches in the room, taut and heavy.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, finally, when he can’t stand the strain any longer. He doesn’t know what else to say.

“No—don’t, don’t apologize,” Steve says, his voice cracking, “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Bucky still can’t bring himself to lift his head, to face his punishment the way he should. He’s weak, and the shame is too heavy. He watches with lowered eyes as Steve’s hands curl into fists. Bucky can’t help it then—he flinches as the dread rushes into his gut.

“I’m sorry, please,” he says, “I know I should have removed the HYDRA mark all the way, I should have burned it off with acid—I was going to, I swear.” Bucky knows excuses aren’t allowed—but he can’t stop himself, he wants so badly for them to understand. It was a mistake, a stupid lazy mistake—not insolence, not defiance.

Bucky risks a glance up: Steve’s face looks white, stricken. He can’t believe that Bucky would repay the generosity they’ve all shown him with this level of misbehavior. Bucky has betrayed their kindness, and now they can’t trust him. They need to punish him.

Bucky curls over his knees a little more—he can’t help it, he’s weak and pathetic and fucking ungrateful. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to hold the words back, but they spew out of him anyway, the justifications, the feeble explanations.

“I know I need to be punished for it—I’m not trying to get out of it, I swear,” he says, “But please, I didn’t mean it, I never meant to make a mess of the new brand.” Bucky’s hands twitch again of their own accord and he has to force himself to hold still, to not twist and try to cover up the mangled mess at the small of his back.

The “A” he’d carved beside the old HYDRA mark is crooked and untidy. It had been difficult to reach behind himself, and working off of the bathroom mirror had been confusing—his hand kept wanting to go in the wrong direction. He’d fully intended it to be a temporary mark, he’d meant to go to Banner or Stark or one of the doctors, maybe, to get it done right. But he’d been lazy about it. Then when no one had mentioned it, it had slipped to the back of his mind and—he’d forgotten.

The shame washes over him again, he feels like he’s drowning in it. Bucky can’t believe how neglectful, how ungrateful he’s been.

“Bucky—” Steve’s voice has dropped to a hoarse whisper now. The others are still silent, they’re all still staring at him, shocked, appalled at his insubordination.

“Please,” Bucky tries one more time, “I’m so sorry. I promise, I know who I belong to.”

There’s no response—they’re clearly done listening to his bullshit—and Bucky braces for the pain to begin. When it doesn’t, he makes himself look up again.

Steve has backed away a few steps. His face is averted, and his hands are still curled into fists. He can’t even bear to look at Bucky anymore. Bucky doesn’t blame him.

He fucking deserves it.

Op - this ... This is a masterpiece anon! You convey so much horror, such depth of emotion in such a short piece. I'm speechless. This is pure genius anon.

Thanks OP!! I'm so glad you liked it!! ;))

OH man, I love how much Bucky is blaming himself here. <333

awful misguided self-blame is my JAM ;)) thanks so much for your comment!

Oh, this is fantastic, I could quote every line. Please say you'll write more of Bucky's delectably fucked up headspace!

So glad you liked it!! I definitely had fun playing with this sad misguided version of Bucky. any ideas for other awful scenarios we could throw him in (ones rife with opportunities for miscommunication, misinterpretations and sadawful self-blame)?? ;))

apparently this is my thing too; holy shit, anon, this is so good! i'm in love with your bucky voice and impressed with all the horror and pain you've packed into a minifill. nice one!

thank you!!! guhhh brands. ;))

MY HEART ugggh yes

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-06-27 23:34 (UTC) - Expand

Oh wow, Bucky's headspace here is so sad and twisted. I love how he can't conceptualize any of their reactions as anything but anger and disappointment towards him. He just can't imagine they might be angry at HYDRA. Poor Bucky!

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-06-27 23:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-06-28 07:37 (UTC) - Expand

rereading this again and loving the line "His handl—his friends had a right to inspect his body as much as they wanted."

Just like... no, Bucky. That's not how friendship works.

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-08 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-08 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-08 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: UNTITLED MINIFILL - Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-08 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

Now posted to AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7845445

Yet a third filler for this!

Here's the pic: http://67.media.tumblr.com/520fe94c65c3fc0a6cf7dde15e4e975a/tumblr_o9zhz1qws91tlgnspo1_540.jpg

And here's some hastily-written words to go with it:

----

Stark put down another sheet of paper in front the ever-growing pile. "And this one says that you promise not to give any Avengers and Stark technology to non-Avengers."

Bucky finds the line, signs.

"And lastly... this one will set up your Avengers bank account."

Bucky looks up at Stark. "I get a whole bank account?"

"Makes it easier to manage the money going in. It's for business use only, so don't pay for any porn sites, okay?" Stark, hands now free of the contracts, starts fiddling with a nearby mass of exposed chips and wires. "Besides, I know all of the big ones, so you really don't wan't me seeing that you're subscribed to 'Cybermedia LLC' or whatever."

Bucky signs and initials at the right spots. A robot wheels up and takes his pen from him.

"I belong to the Avengers now?" He couldn't believe how easy that was. No doctors, no pain, no month-long ordeal of proving his loyalty and utter obedience.

"Yup! Welcome to the good guys!" Stark checks his watch. "Hey, sorry about this, but I've got a lunch meeting that starts in ... negative 10 minutes. You know how to go back up to your place, right?" Stark was already halfway out the door to the lab. "JARVIS can always help if you get too lost." And with that, Stark was gone.

Bucky got up from the table. He bounced a bit on his toes in excitement. He's an Avenger now. HYDRA doesn't own him anymore. The last 70 years of his life is done and over with, and he is SO ready to kick HYDRA butt.

But first -- he needed to make the ownership transfer official. Bucky'd done his signing, but Stark left before leaving the Avengers' signature. Oh well, he'll just do it himself. He thought about how pleased Stark would be with his initiative. He looked around Stark's lab. There was a cabinet that looked like it'd have the proper acids and carving tools... But wait. Bucky pulled his hand back from the handle. He wouldn't want to upset Stark by using his tools without permission. Plus he didn't want to bloody up the lab.

He took the elevator back up to Steve's floor, where Steve has given him a room. His own room! It has a bed and a bathroom and lots of lovely nooks and crannies for stashing things. He reached under the armchair and took out his array of knives. After some consideration, he picked a small one for the sketching and a larger one for the carving. HYDRA had proper tools for this, and Stark probably does as well, but Bucky will have to make do.

Just before heading to the adjoining bathroom, Bucky remembered to take his socks off and shove them in his mouth -- sure, he can probably keep silent through the process without them, but there's no point in making it harder for himself. The Avengers don't seem to be into the order-through-pain thing.

One of the bathroom towels have the Avengers logo embroidered on it, which was pretty handy. Bucky took off his shirt and arched his back toward the mirror. There, on the small of his back, the old familiar HYDRA brand. He's got other scars, too, from anyone who cared enough to cut deep enough. But this one was the only one they renewed regularly, between the tank and the chair, just to remind him who he belonged to. The techs would wait until he was fully conscious to do it, too. There's that order-through-pain thing again. As if of its own volition, Bucky's hand reached back with his big knife and slashed some deep strokes across the tentacled monstrosity. He barely had time to bite down as the pain registered.

It felt good. Cleansing.

After a moment, he uses the towel to stop the blood, and then turned his attention to carving out the Avengers logo as best he could.

He's never done this himself -- it's always been someone else leaving marks on his body. But this felt right. He belonged to the Avengers now, and what better way to mark the occasion? He's so glad he'd decided to come to Steve instead of go back to the remnants of HYDRA. The thin draft lines he traced with the smaller blade seals almost immediately, but already he could tell that drawing the circle will be difficult. He will have to take his time if he wants to make it as good as it deserves to be.

Which means it will hurt like the dickens. He can't just hack and slash, especially if he accidentally cuts too deep and does something with his muscles that makes him less effective. The best way would be to peel off his skin in the area. It'll take a day to scab, and then the new skin will start growing. The symbol will probably last 2 weeks to a month before it fades. Plenty of time for Stark to find the time to give him a proper one in his lab.

Bucky adjusts the socks in his mouth, and starts.

* * *

For one reason or another, Stark never seems to remember to bring up the issue over the following week.

At first it didn't make sense. But one day Bucky realizes that maybe he's expected to maintain the mark himself. After all, he does the rest of his body maintenance now.

So, every two weeks or so, Bucky has to wipe down the bathroom and spend a few nights sleeping on his stomach.

The HYDRA brand is fading from his skin. Soon, maybe in another month, Bucky can move the Avengers one to its proper place.

oh! apologies for not writing/drawing the discovery/reaction part, but I figured that the other filler has done such a good job of it...

And also, in case you wanted to zoom in a bit to see the oldest scars -- http://67.media.tumblr.com/520fe94c65c3fc0a6cf7dde15e4e975a/tumblr_o9zhz1qws91tlgnspo1_1280.jpg

OMG YOU DID IT.

IT'S SO AMAZING I LOVE IT SO MUCH. The way he's all twisted around at that awkward angle, trying to hold the skin of his back stretched with the metal hand as he's doing his best to carve a straight line for the "A"... trying to see past the blood & pain to figure out what he's carved so far vs. what's he's still got left. AND YOU PUT OLDER SCARS IN. Jfc layers and layers of them. The lash marks and the intricate, artistic (sadistic) designs carved into his skin and THE WORDS. I've been staring at this in fascination/horror for whole minutes now. THE SETS OF WORDS ARE IN DIFFERENT HANDWRITING. I--. I CAN'T.

And the accompanying ficlet is absolutely delicious too!!! TONY MY BABY. He's going to DIE when he realizes what he's done.

Thank you so much for this exquisite trash. You have made my weekend. ;))))))

Re: [artfill] Re: Bucky + logos - scarification / branding

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-09 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

Oh you beautiful anon. This is wonderful. I love the art, and the fic is so heartbreaking and great!

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