Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

[trashmod]

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.

Comments

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 6/? -- ERROR FREE

[(Anonymous)]

I am squirming. On one hand this is emotional porn for me, and on the other, I am SO SAD

I mean I cannot believe Hydra managed to ruin consent checks for Bucky. I love this awful new twist in their tortuous sex life.

Alright, well, what's not so sad is that they're still making progress along the road to making it work. I was thrilled to see Bucky actually explaining his reaction / talking about what they did to him -- there was more squirming for me, because his story hurt but in a BEAUTIFUL TRASH way that made me want to read about it for approx twenty years. The particular cruelty of using this bit of conditioning to torture him! It's so evilly inventive! There must be a hundred layers of mindfuckery just in that one paragraph: making him beg, then humiliating, taunting, and blaming him when he can't 'appreciate' what he begged for. At the end of which I suppose they usually fucked him, which, man, I can only imagine left him wondering what's wrong with him, that that's what works...

On that note, he mention of female rapists in this story is great. How women would fit into this fic is something I'd idly wondered about, and you took it to probably the worst place possible: they get to use him and mock him for not performing! There's an additional deep well of terribleness in making him repeat 'what he is' until he believes it, at which point he's rewarded with more torture.

The image of Bucky curled up on himself in the bed, hand over his face with his mouth twitching as he makes himself talk about trash = I can't, I'm leaving, this is too much, if I had this on a poster it would become the wallpaper in my basement

For some reason one of the things that hit me hardest about this was the exchange about the blowjob. It's just really... messed up, and sad, that getting a blowjob, or any kind of sex outside this one particular variant, can only ever be foreplay for Bucky. They really are starting to make it work, and that makes it better, in a way, but also worse, because they're so sweet when they get it right and I just want them to be happy. (Well I don't really, because then where would I get my misery porn, but I love them and maybe after they've suffered enough they can go out for ice cream or something.)

+ "I wanted you to be enough" GOD

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 6/? -- ERROR FREE

[(Anonymous)]

Oh Long-Winded Commenter, I cannot believe I didn't reply to you! Also yes, just when Steve thinks he's found a solution it turns out that trash, like sand, gets everywhere.

I... I have to admit one of the reason I consider doing some kind of Bucky Outtakes Version is that I TOO would like to read about humiliation, non-con begging, and fucked-up sex games for twenty years, preferably in all the detail that the character won't go into out loud. (Like Bucky is not going to say "And then they smacked me around and called me a queer," but oh anon they did). I sort of regretted only starting to think about the issue of gender (for lack of a better term) until part-way through because I wondered whether Bucky might feel ambivalent or resentful about getting with a man – since his chances of finding a sexually-compatible woman are pretty minuscule – or second-guess his feelings, like is he really attracted to Steve or is he just gravitating to the nearest available dude (and should thus keep his mouth shut, since Steve deserves better).

One of the things that hit me hardest from the prompt – besides the potential for id-fuel – was the profound loss of control. You want to have sex? Only on one set of terms. Someone else's terms. For the rest of your life. And forget about masturbation. And since a huge part of recovery – from sexual assault and also I imagine from comic-book brainwashing – is regaining a sense of control the tension there seemed terrible and fascinating. Yes, they are starting to blunder through it – although Bucky is still framing consensual sex in terms of 'use' and Steve still thinks it's vulgar to say 'cock' out loud.

(Bucky might feel cynical and hardened, but "maybe my terrible sexual reprogramming will go away if the right person touches me" is some straight-up Romantic shit).

Re: Bucky can only come with penetration -- Smash All Your Mirrors, 6/? -- ERROR FREE

[(Anonymous)]

Steve is going to finding trash in his ears for weeks :(

Iiiii would be there for Bucky Outtakes, where we see all the evil creativity Bucky would never describe Hydra exercising on him. Bucky getting shamed for something they did to him is... something I would happily see included in every fic, there's never enough. Re: gender issues: there's so much interesting & painful potential there! For one, from the perspective of the rapist women of Hydra, Bucky would be the perfect sex toy. There's no chance he'd get them pregnant, or come before they did, and he could go multiple rounds during girls' night if he kept it up. He'd probably be raw from the chafing by the end, but who cares? Then Bucky's perspective -- it would be so sad if he were second-guessing himself. Actually I think this Bucky, out of all the possibilities, may be the least tortured about gender. This Bucky loves Steve and accepts being attracted to him and even thought of him as ~the right person. Imagine if he were insecure about being queer; or didn't remember being attracted to Steve before; or, the worst option, if he were straight. Of course if you follow those issues too far down the rabbit hole, then it's an entirely different fic. For the record, I think it works that this fic is more streamlined.

Yes! And ideally, Bucky would learn to accept and own his sexuality, but no matter what workarounds he finds and how well he copes, there's the inescapable fact that he, well, has to have sex in the bed someone else made for him. He can make the sex consensual and even empowering, but he still can't leave the bed. Which would be terrible enough on its own, but with the additional horror of it being the result of years of rape and torture... I imagine that's the kind of thing where you learn to deal with it, and then ten or twenty or thirty years later you have a day where you're furious again. But this isn't decades later. It's right at the start of his recovery. :) (<-- SMILE FOR PAIN)