hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

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Iv'e seen fics where after so many years of being Hydra's weapon, Bucky can't help having thoughts about different ways to kill someone with items in the room.
I want the trash version of that. Bucky can't help looking at Steve, Sam, Nat, whoever and thinking of different ways to fuck them with objects in the room, degrade them, etc.

+ I'm always a fan of the Guilt Boner Complex

yessss

In some ways, in many ways, the violence was easier.

"You know, what happened to you doesn't make you a bad person."

Sam Wilson was seated oppposite Bucky. The lighting in the room was bright but not glaring. Comfortable. The chairs they were on where equally comfortable. The legs were made of composit that would break easily, giving one sharp and splintered end and one rounded, smooth end. The splintered end could be held against Sam's eye while Bucky's metal arm dragged him to the ground.

In many ways, the violence was esier. Bucky was expected to be a killing machine. That he might have trouble shaking the thought process of an assasin was understandable. The first time he had told Sam during a session that his mind was cataloging the many ways he could kill the man, Sam didn't even blink.

"Am I in any danger right now?" Sam had asked, as casual as he had asked anything.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Bucky had said, and that was true. He had learned by that point that he could be trusted not to act on those thoughts.

"So you don't want to kill me."

The violence was easier to admit to, easier than dwelling on the thought that the rounded end of the chair leg would take some forcing before it would fit up Sam's ass. Bucky would have to hold him down, hand on the back on his head and really work it in. Sam would be screaming of course, fighting, but at some point his flesh would give and either stretch or tear. Bucky thinkgs he could probably fit the whole seven inches in, but he'd have to stop short, to leave some room for a good handle.

The others knew he had killed for Hydra. Mostly with a bullet, but sometimes with bombs, and sometimes (though they rarely made him talk about it) he killed in more intimate ways.

What no on (save perhaps Natasha) seemed to know is that he was often called upon to perform other tasks as Hydra's enforcer.

Bucky didn't have a clear idea of when Hydra began using him in that way, nor did he know how often he had done so. He can remember the acts, but without anything to cement them at a certain point in time it could have been last year or 20 years ago.

Most of them didn't survive, he knows. He wonders if there is anyone alive who he did hurt this way, and what they would say to Sam Wilson about the kind of man Bucky is.

The thoughts come to him unsought, unbidden, violence and sex mixed to the point where he cannot separate the two. So when he thinks of punching Steve until his teeth are falling out, it follows that he would then fuck his mouth, forcing his erect cock between Steve's still bleeding gums.

When these thoughts first began he had hidden from everyone. He had told Sam, honestly, that he was afraid of hurting people. What he hadn't told Sam was the many times, late at night when he had given into the thoughts, dwelled on them, followed them through until he was stifling moans and fisitng himself with his metal hand.

In the aftermath he feels worse than he ever has. The moment he is spent the very thought of violence is enough to make him sick. But that doesn't stop it from happening again and again.

When Tony struts around with his chest inflated like a matdor, Bucky thinks about how he could tie him face down on the table, ankles and wrists bound each to one of the table's legs, and Bucky would choose which end to fuck. It would depend on how mouthy Tony was being at the time.

When Bruce shows him around the lab, talks to him about expirements he could never understand, Bruce never seems to notice that Bucky's eyes are fixated on the lanyar around his neck. It doesnt have an emergency release. It could get caught on anything. It could be wrapped around a metal hand and pulled tight, tight enough so that only weezing gasps could make it through to Bruce's lungs. Bucky could control his air completely by a simple twist of his hand. He'd keep it tight at first to kill the struggle, but once Bruce began to weaken he'd let him have a little air. Just enough to keep him conscious. Then when he'd torn the other man's pants off he'd tighten his chokhold in time as he thrust in and out of the man's ass.

Of course that thought was rediculous. At the first sign of a fight Bruce would turn into the Hulk. It was impossible for Bucky to hurt him.

When Bucky got weak, when he gave in and jerked himself off to those dark and violent thoughts, it was always of Bruce that he thought. Always, because that was safest. Because that would never happen.

Bucky knew by then that he wouoldn't, couldn't hurt his friends, but that didn't stop him picturing shoving Thor's hammer down his own throat until the man gagged. (Another impossible feat, maybe. But that cap coud be wrapped around his neck...)

Sometimes, when he gets quiet, Natasha looks at him like she can see right through him and he thinks in a moment of panic that she knows. It sends him into a pit of despair, the idea that anyone could know this about him. It doesn't stop him from thinking about wrapping her wrists in her own garrote, tight enough that any struggle would make them bleed. He'd sit on her legs and use his knife to peel away her suit one inch at a time.

Once, not long after he was back, Steve had tried to make some sort of confession to him. Or solicitation. In any case the moment it became obvious what Steve wanted Bucky had shucked the hand Steve had placed on his shoulder and promptly started hyperventilating.

He knows what everyone thinks about that. The sadness in Steve's eyes. The way no one reprimands him too harshly when the next Hydra agent they discover Bucky beats nearly to death. They don't understand. They can't know. What would they even think of him?

"You know what happened to you doesn't make you a bad person?" This time it's a question.

Bucky looks at Sam, picturing the chair leg sticking out of his bleeding ass. picturing himself holding that chair leg, using it as leverage to rock Sam back and forth, Sam's lips stretched wide around Bucky's cock...

"I wish I could believe you." Bucky said.

Oh wow! I just saw this fill! It's fantastic, how dark Bucky's thoughts are!
And Steve tries to offer to have something with him and he freaks out because naturally he doesn't want anyone to find out about his horrible thoughts. So great! Thanks for writing :)
Lol I also love that Bruce wears an unsafe lanyard. It's great.

Bless you for this delicious terrible guilt-boner trash. Bless you for including Sam and Bruce so prominently. Many, many blessings.

This is really, really good. Thanks for sharing.

HOW DID I MISS THIS

author!anon, this is amazing. I tend to forget that even in canon, the Winter Soldier has done some seriously bad things, because it's so obvious that it wasn't his fault. I love this take on post-CATWS Bucky because his thoughts are genuinely disturbing, and it makes his struggle to move on that much more intriguing.

Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

Bucky's horrible thoughts

Re: Bucky's horrible thoughts

Fill: Bucky's broken brain

Re: Fill: Bucky's broken brain

Re: Fill: Bucky's broken brain

Re: Fill: Bucky's broken brain

Re: Fill: Bucky's broken brain