Dumpster #2: ...'Cause a Hydra Trash Party don't stop

[trashmod]

Unholy hell-miracle achieved! Welcome to Bad Guys Do Bad Things To Your Faves 2: Electric Boogaloo. AKA the seamy sexual-violence-and-violent-sex underbelly of Captain America fandom, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by greenkirtle)] [Round 2 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 2 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 3.

Comments

Bucky thinks his rape was consensual

[(Anonymous)]

Back before HYDRA, Bucky had a lot of really kinky rape/domination/humiliation fantasies. Maybe he and Steve used to have pretty kinky BDSM sex, maybe he just liked being dominated by his dates when they were up for it (though I will offer all the moldy take-out containers and hearts made of overcooked spaghetti I can find in my corner of the dumpster if Peggy also dominated him alongside Steve a few times during the war, given that Peggy/Steve/Bucky is my OT3). However it happened, Bucky had already had a lot of sex full of consensual humiliation and rape/domination-play by the time he got captured again by HYDRA.

When he starts regaining his memories, he remembers how he used to ask people to make him do the sorts of things HYDRA would make him do, and how he almost always got off when HYDRA raped him. Therefore, he comes to the conclusion that he must have asked HYDRA to use him like that, too. Then give me all the shame and self-hate as he tries to navigate recovering with the Avengers while thinking that A) the sexual abuse he suffered was not abuse at all, and B) if Steve ever finds out that he used to be HYDRAs willing pet in bed as well as in the field, he'll never forgive him.

+++Bonus: Bucky wants to start sleeping with people again (my preference is he wants to sleep with Steve, but I'm up for others or just vague desire to have sex in general), but he's terrified of what people would think of him, because he can't imagine admitting to [whoever] that he remembers what he used to like because he remembers doing those things with his HYDRA handlers and how much pleasure he got from it. So, he starts sneaking out and having dangerous, unhealthy sex with strangers instead. Which, of course, just furthers the shame and self-hate.

Re: Bucky thinks his rape was consensual

[(Anonymous)]

Ooooh. I'm also intrigued by "what he used to like." In your imagination, does Bucky no longer like domination/consent play because of the negative associations, or does he still want it but not understand his own desires?

Re: Bucky thinks his rape was consensual

[(Anonymous)]

I think it would be complicated for Bucky. I learn towards, he still wants it but no longer fully understands the boundaries between consenting BDSM and rape. He knows that he doesn't want to be actually raped (and there's definitely a part of him that knows he didn't really want what HYDRA did), but he doesn't know where that line is drawn anymore, which complicates his knowledge of his own desires.

Maybe he tries vanilla sex with a stranger and doesn't get off, which just solidifies his belief that HYDRA was just doing things he wanted to him, which is why he got off with them.