hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because

hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

Link your fills on the fill post, post unprompted fills as replies to a header comment so the wall o' text is collapsible, and let me know if you're interested in helping out with the Pinboard archive.

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All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(A/N. Thanks for the feedback, here's what came of it!)

*

Steve knows the way people look at Bucky, the way they talk to him, now that all of HYDRA’s videos have been released to the public.

How could he not know? It happens all the time when they're out together, and if people can be so brazen with Captain America, Falcon, Black Widow and/or the Scarlet Witch standing there, how bad must it be for Bucky when he's out by himself? When he insists on going it alone. Steve doesn't point out that Bucky's doing the very thing that used to drive him crazy about Steve back in the 1930's. He knows Bucky already realizes the irony, and trying to talk about it with him will make it worse. He’s offered his support, that’s all he can do until Bucky reaches out to him.

But this? Steve can’t ignore this. This is bad. This is appalling, and the worst part for him isn’t the rape he’s witnessing, or the number of likes the video has, or the disgusting comments underneath. No, the worst part for Steve is the way Bucky just resigns himself to it. The girl even has the gall to kiss him afterwards, and Bucky doesn’t put up a fight. It makes Steve see red. He wants that girl punished. Her, and whoever filmed the assault, and the people who surely witnessed it in the middle of a supermarket on a Friday afternoon and did nothing-

Of course, that would require Bucky’s cooperation, which is something he knows he’ll never get. He still has to try.

“That didn’t take long,” Bucky remarks without emotion when Steve comes raging into Bucky’s room the day after the assault. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Not something I thought you’d be watching, though, Steve.”

“It was on my goddamn news feed! I have alerts on for stories about the Winter Soldier. Anyway, that’s not the fucking point, Buck.”

Bucky sighs. That’s all, just a tired sigh. He won’t look at Steve as he sits on the edge of his bed. Steve remains standing in Bucky’s doorway.

“How many times has this happened?”

Bucky doesn’t answer. It’s an answer in itself, and Steve hates himself for not seeing it before. It’s been so much worse than leering looks and debauched, half-hushed comments. When the HYDRA videos were released, all the torture, brainwashing, and rape, Steve had been horrified for Bucky. Seeing everything that had been done to him in lurid detail, knowing that the world could see it, too. But, the videos had also effectively cleared Bucky’s name of the Winter Soldier’s crimes, allowing him to move into the Avenger’s Tower. Allowing him to pick up the semblance of a normal life, and to begin to recover.

Or so Steve had thought.

“That bad, every time?”

“No,” Bucky says quickly. “And no one’s filmed it before. At least, I don’t think they have. Usually it’s just groping. Or catcalling. Or propositions. Stuff like that. It’s not a big deal.”

Steve can hear it in Bucky’s voice. How worthless he thinks he is. Steve can also hear his friend’s unspoken plea. Let it go, Steve. Please let it go. Steve can’t. That’s not who he is.

“We can get that girl, Buck. She was dumb enough to post the video to her Facebook, we have her name. We can find her, and the cameraperson, and anyone else who- ”

“No!”

Bucky snarls, finally looking at him, and Steve is so happy just to see him animated about something that it takes a moment to register the implications.

“Bucky, we can’t let them get away with- ”

“Fuck off, Steve! I’m not one of your Avengers missions, I’m not the goddamned-damsel-in-distress for Captain America to rescue!”

“But she- ”

“She said ‘thank you’ afterwards,” Bucky looks away again, anger deflating abruptly. “They don’t always, you know. The girl after her didn’t.”

“Bucky!”

Bucky looks at him, eyes wide as he realizes his admission.

“No, Steve, I didn’t mean to- just forget it, okay? I don’t want to press charges. I don’t want to go to court, or be dragged back into the media spotlight. And I don’t want to see them again. Okay?”

Steve chokes on a thousand retorts. He’s so angry, at those girls, at the world, at Bucky. He wants to smash furniture. A small, dark part of himself wants to punch Bucky’s face until he agrees to fight back. To fight for himself, his personhood, his worthiness. Love yourself, you fucking asshole! Love yourself as much as I love you!

Steve swallows, unclenching his fists.

“Okay.”

Bucky gives him one of his tired little half-smiles.

“Good. Thanks.”

They’ve solved nothing, Steve knows. Bucky will continue to be treated like meat, like property, and he’ll put up with it because he doesn’t think he’s worth fighting for. And Steve will continue to let him, because it’s Bucky’s choice, it’s his life, and if Steve were to insist on making Bucky conform to the way Steve wants him, well, how would that make Steve any better than HYDRA?

But he has to try.

“Anytime, Buck,” Steve promises as he leaves Bucky to whatever he was doing before Steve barged in. “Anytime you need something, anytime you want something, I’m here.”

“Okay,” Bucky brushes him off, but Steve dares to hope he hears acceptance in Bucky’s voice. “Thanks.”

“You’re worth it, Bucky. I know you won’t listen, but I gotta say it anyway. You’re worth it.”

The dismissive grunt Bucky gives in response tells Steve that he doesn’t believe him.

He will.
_

oh, this is so lovely. poor bucky, poor steve.

Aw, Steve so determined. Thank you for adding to this!

[BEACHED WHALE THRASHING]

this is the SADDEST and the BEST

Steve should kill the girls. Of course, that'd make him dark good guys

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

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