hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because

hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

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All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

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Okay, so, post-Hydra, without regular raping going on, Bucky develops...issues. The issues are of the sort that he produces excess semen because of the serum, and basically the pressure in his balls get excruciating.

But...because of the trauma he's not really in the headspace for an actual sexual relationship, and masturbation is not something he can make work.

In the end, someone finds out and "helps" him by giving him regular "milkings" - i.e. just working his prostate with their fingers until he comes without being otherwise touched.

I'm fine with said person being male of female, but I would prefer an Avenger, and I would prefer some sort of emotional connection (if it does not start out that way, at least over time).

I'd prefer this Bucky to be mostly recovered (i.e. he has his memories, knows who he is, is not under influence of triggers etc), just really messed up sexually.

Bonus round:

-Bucky is pathetically begging for it by he time he admits it's a problem

- It's still awkward, humiliating and traumatic every time.

- The other party tries to be detached but progressively fails more and more at it.

- Real feelings come into play.

- Actual sex ensues at some point (you can take this in the broad sense, but my definition of it would be reciprocal sexual activity). It might still be traumatic as fuck, but hey they're trying.

I'd love this

Yesssss

yes yes a thousand times yes

Fuck, OP, I loved medicinal prostate milking so much, AHHHHHHHHH.

Oooh! what if he goes to Steve - 'cause trust issues with medical personnel - and Steve tries to be very clinical and detached. Hell, he grew up in the time period of medicinal enemas, etc, right? He's trying to do it as affably as he knows how. He knows that if he gets too clinical it's not great for Bucky, but Steve also feels kind of sick and like he's taking advantage if it strays too far away from clinical.

(Eventually they could sort their shit out somewhat and exchange some smooches and handjobs.)

Op here: I sort of like the idea of it being strictly functional and *deliberately* impersonal at first, because he'd assume Bucky would just want to have it over and done with. While for Bucky maybe it would be better if he felt loved during, but it takes them a bit to figure that out.

So I'm kinda working on a fill for this. Not sure when I'll be finished but it's flowing smoothly (lol) so far.

I love you :)

So this is my first time doing a fill for HTP so be gentle with me. Not sure if this is exactly what the OP was looking for, but the prompt ate my brain. There should be at least 2 more parts to this at some point.

It's been just over a year since the Accords split his team in half, and three months since Steve and Natasha found the right intel and helped Bucky overcome his triggers. With Wanda’s help Steve was able to act as an anchor inside Bucky’s mind. It made it a little easier for Bucky to have someone in his mind with him as he fought through the conditioning.

Now Bucky is permanently out of Cryo and they're back in the US taking some downtime to adjust and figure out their next move. For Steve, the past few weeks have been the closest he’s had to a vacation he’s ever had. They're in a small cabin in North California with limited tech and all the scenery they can look at.

The problem now is that Bucky is in pain. Bucky was fine at first, offering Steve those small hesitant new smiles like he’s afraid he’s not allowed to have them. They would wake up at first light and Steve would go for a run and sometimes Bucky would join him and others Bucky would work through an intense work out routine that left him sweaty and red faced, but relaxed.

About a week ago, though, Bucky didn’t join Steve for a run and was only half through his workout when he’d had to take a break and rest. His face had been tight and his movements stiff, so Steve suggested he call it done and come inside for breakfast.

Over the last year, Steve has learned that Bucky is always hurting in some small way. There's metal grafted all over his body to help support his metal arm and even though the new Vibranium arm gifted to him by T’Challa is much lighter, it's still heavier than his flesh and bone arm.

It had taken a while to rebuild their trust but during the process he’d learned how to read Bucky again, or maybe Bucky learned to open up more, either way Steve learned to tell when Bucky was hurting and Steve always did what he could to help. Sometimes with mammoth painkillers and other times it was just rubbing the tense muscles of Bucky back and shoulders.

Touch was another thing that had taken time. Steve read Bucky’s file, he knows all the ways hydra hurt and tortured him. So learning how and when it was okay to touch Bucky had been a lot of rough lessons. Steve ended up with a metal hand around his throat or tossed across a room more times than he should have. But he’d learned. Now when Bucky’s muscles get sore he’s willing to sit still long enough to let Steve work the knots and aches out.

When Steve offers to help this time Bucky looks stricken and refuses, his eyes wide and haunted. Steve doesn't push, another hard lesson learned, he just offers pain relief and tries to respect that Bucky knows what works best for him.

Going into the second week of Bucky wincing as he walks and holding his breath to sit down, Steve starts serving their meals on the couch. Bucky doesn’t look happy about it, but it seems to ease the pain some.

When he sees Bucky limping to the bathroom the first morning of the third week, his face a blank mask of determination that he usually wears when he's hiding how much something hurts, Steve’s had enough.

“Buck, c’mon,” he says frowning. “You're obviously hurting. Let me get you something for the pain at least.”

“M’fine,” Bucky says. His face still stuck in that blank mask. “It'll pass.”

“It's been a couple weeks, Pal,” Steve replies. He looks away from Bucky’s face and rubs a hand over the back of his neck. “I'm--I think we should call a doctor or something.” He looks up and Bucky's face is still blank. “You don't have to grit your teeth and suffer through this.”

“No doctor,” Bucky says and he offers Steve a strained smile. “Besides I already know what's wrong with me.” He swallows the smile and turns towards the bathroom again. “I'm fine.”

Steve grabs Bucky's arm as he tries to move passed Steve into the bathroom. “Hey,” Bucky goes tense and Steve let's go immediately. Sometimes Bucky is okay with Steve touching him. Other times, he goes tense and still like a prey animal trying to avoid a predator. It makes Steve’s stomach twist. “Look” he says softening his voice. “I'm not trying to be pushy here okay? I'm just worried about you.” Bucky's shoulders relax a bit so Steve continues, keeping his voice soft. “If you say you've got it handled I believe you. But I hate seeing you hurting. Just,” Steve sighs and backs away a step. “Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help okay?”

After a moment of staring forward Bucky nods “Yeah, okay.” He walks into the bathroom and shuts the door quietly. The lock snicks into place and Steve walks away, determined to let it go.

He shouldn't have grabbed him. Steve knows how Bucky is about touch and it stands to reason he'd be even more sensitive when he's hurting and feeling vulnerable.

Steve heads into the kitchen to throw together some lunch and hopes that whatever is going on passes soon.

***

That night Steve startles awake and tries to figure out what woke him. He lays there listening until he hears it again. It's this whining groan that's quickly muffled like someone pushing their face into a pillow. Steve flushes because that didn't necessarily sounds like a pain noise. Steve’s about to roll over and try and go back to sleep when a muffled sob follows after the whining sound and suddenly Steve stomach fills with ice. That was definitely a pain sound.

Even though he was trying not to push he can’t help himself and next thing he knows he’s tapping lightly on Bucky’s bedroom door.

The noise stops instantly.

“Bucky?”

“Go away, Steve.” Bucky’s voice is raw like he’s been crying.

“God, Buck, I can’t take this.” Steve wants to push through the door, but restrains himself to just resting his forehead against it. “I’m calling the doctor right now.” He turns away, about to grab his phone. Dr Cho patched Steve up plenty when he lived at the tower and he trusts her to keep their location and whatever is bothering Bucky private.

“Wait!” Bucky’s voice sounds blank. “Just, fuck, alright, come in.”

Steve opens the door slowly, trying to brace himself for anything. What he finds is Bucky laying in bed shirtless, his face pale from pain and a sheen of sweat on his skin.

He approaches slowly and sits on the end of the bed. Bucky’s shifting uncomfortably and refusing to meet Steve’s eyes. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Bucky glares at him for a second before sighing and reaching over to his bedside table. He pulls out a folder and hands it to Steve before going back to staring at a space on the wall.

Inside the folder is a copy of Bucky’s medical record, and right at the top of the page, highlighted in yellow under ‘Concerns’ is the diagnosis of Chronic Prostatitis. Steve reads quickly through the symptoms and winces. “Jeez, isn’t there anything they can do besides pain meds?”

Bucky barks a laugh, “I’ve been doing it pal, everything from stool softeners to anti-inflammatory to alpha-adrenergic blockers.” Bucky shifts again with a groan. “They haven’t done a goddamn thing.”

“Maybe we should call another doctor? Get a different opinion?” Steve asks. “Or, jeez, I don’t know, maybe some different options.”

“There’s another option.” Bucky says and his voice has gone hollow. “I’ve been trying to avoid it but,” he sighs. “Guess I can’t avoid it anymore.”

“Anything I can do?”

“I’ll, uh, let you know if I need help.” Bucky grimaces and shifts. “Go back to sleep, Steve, I’ll be alright.”

Steve can't think of anything else to say so he just nods at Bucky. “Night, Buck,” he says. “For real let me know if I can help.”

“Steve?”

Steve jerks awake and finds Bucky standing next to his bed.

“Buck? what is it? You okay?”

“Y-you,” Bucky frowns and clears his throat. “You said you would help. You said that if I needed you to-”

“Yeah, Buck, of course.” Steve sits up and shifts to sit on the edge of the bed. “Anything you need, you know that.”

Bucky gives him a bitter smile, “You might change your mind about that, Pal.”

Steve gives Bucky what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Nah, I won’t.”

“Right well, you know my, uh, condition?” Steve nodded. “Well the only thing that I haven’t tried is the, well,” Bucky’s skin flushes and then immediately goes pale and Steve suddenly knows what Bucky wants. Before he drifted off Steve did some googling to see if he could find out anything Bucky hadn’t already tried. There hadn’t been much and one of the obvious ones, well, with his knowledge of what had been done to Bucky, Steve couldn’t blame him for avoiding it.

Steve decides he’s not going to make Bucky spell it out for him. “You want me help to drain your semen by milking your prostate.”

Bucky’s mouth hangs open and Steve gives him a wry smile. “What you didn't think I would do my own research?

“Google ain’t research, Stevie,” Bucky says weakly, after a moment. He’s smiling a little and Steve can see his shoulders loosen a bit.

Steve’s smile widens,”It is here in the future.” Bucky huffs out a laugh and Steve feels a small thrill of accomplishment. If he can manage to keep things kind of light then maybe this won’t be so bad for Bucky. Steve clears his throat, “So how do we want to do this?”

The good humor vanishes from Bucky’s face replaced by a hollow sort of blankness, “Uh, bathroom might be best,” he says. “Not sure how messy this is going to get.”

The thought of doing something this intimate in a sterile environment like the bathroom makes Steve grimace. But maybe that’s what Bucky needs. “Okay, we can do that,” Steve says. “We’re doing this now I assume?”

“Yeah,” Bucky swallows like his throat has gone dry. “Let me, uh, get prepped first. Meet me in there in like ten minutes.”

“Sure.”

Bucky limps back into the hall and Steve hears the bathroom door open and close, then the sound of running water.

Sighing, Steve climbs out of bed to throw some clothes on. This wasn’t at all what he’d thought he’d be doing a 3am when he went to bed last night and he sure as hell hadn’t thought this was how he’d get his first chance to get intimate with Bucky. He hadn’t always wanted Bucky this way. Growing up and during the war he hadn’t even thought about men in a romantic way, it felt like he was already so different after the serum, that adding more difference on top of that seemed like asking for trouble. So he never let himself dwell on the way his eyes sometimes tried to follow other men in the shower or how sometimes Bucky smiling at him made his heart pound. Once he’d been woken from the ice, though, he figured he had nothing to lose. He dated and slept around and learned all the different ways men made love to each other.

After finding Bucky alive he realized he’d do anything to keep Bucky in his life, and he’d known that friendship wasn’t all he wanted with from him. But the more information he’d learned about all the ways Bucky was tortured and abused, the more he realized that romance and especially sex might be off the table entirely. He hadn’t had a chance to work the romance angle yet, things were still on shaky ground in their friendship, and he’d really hoped that once they were comfortable enough he could see if it was an option.

But now here he was, sitting on the edge of his bed watching videos to figure out the most comfortable way to finger his best friend to orgasm.

Steve made his way down the hall after ten minutes and tapped lightly on the bathroom door. “You ready?”

“Yeah,come in.”

Bucky was standing in front of the counter stripped to his boxers and facing the mirror. There were two towels on the floor beneath his feet, one draped down the counter to cover the cabinets, and a final towel folded on the counter. “Jeez, Buck what kind of mess are you expecting?”

“The doctor in Wakanda did it for me the first time and it was, well,” He shrugged. “I would rather not have to try and clean that kind of mess up myself.”

“You haven’t, uh, you know, done anything since Wakanda?”

Bucky sighs and rubs his hands over his face. “I have, it just hasn’t been as effective.”

Steve figures he should shut up before he makes Bucky even more uncomfortable. “Okay, so I’m following your lead on this, Buck, how do you want this to go?”

Bucky looks like he’d rather be anywhere in the world but in this bathroom right now . “I’m all prepped, so, uh,” he closed his eyes and shoved his boxers down and kicks them off to the side, before leaning forward to press rest his forearms on the rolled towel. “Okay, go,” he says without opening his eyes.

It takes Steve a second to realize that, even though not looking would be polite, he’s got no choice. Instead of looking at where Bucky is now exposed he grabs the small bottle of lube conveniently placed on the counter and squirts some on his right hand.

He rubs his fingers together to warm it a little, and tries to take a deep breath to steady his pulse. There’s nothing sexual about this, this is like helping Bucky clean a wound or set a broken bone. When he’s calm and focused he gently places one hand on Bucky’s lower back.

Bucky flinches violently and Steve freezes, “Sorry,” Steve says. “I should have warned you.”

Bucky snorts, “This isn’t gonna be pretty Steve,” Bucky says. “I honestly have no clue how I’m going to react to this.” He sounds resigned and a little bitter and that fills Steve with a mix of anger and protectiveness that’s become familiar since Bucky came back.

“What can I do to make this easier?”

“I don't know, pal,” Bucky says. “I guess do what you can to remind me it’s you touching me and not-” he cuts off and takes a deep breath. “You and not anyone else.”

“I can do that.” Steve rubs his thumb softly over the heated skin of Bucky’s lower back. “You ready?”

Bucky nods and buries his face in his forearms where they’re resting on the counter.

Steve takes one last deep breath and reaches down to press his fingers against Bucky’s hole. He’s relieved to find it’s slick and relaxed so he won't have to worry as much about hurting Bucky.

Bucky shudders and the muscles under Steve’s right hand, still pressed against Bucky’s lower back, go tense. Steve freezes, but Bucky just grunts out, “Keep goin’” so Steve does..

The first finger slips in so easy it startles Steve and he freezes again to make sure Bucky is okay. Bucky is shivering but he doesn’t say anything so Steve keeps going. He rocks the finger back and forth, going steadily deeper. After a moment all the air rushes out of Bucky in a soft moan, and Steve knows he’s found the spot he needs.

“Doing okay?” Steve can’t help but ask. Bucky nods and lets out another soft moan when Steve’s finger grazes his prostate again. Encouraged, Steve adds a second finger. He speeds up a little until he finds a rhythm that pushes a constant stream of low moans from Bucky.

“Ah, God,” Bucky gasps softly and he tightens around Steve’s fingers. It only takes a second before Steve recognizes the rhythmic clenching as Bucky coming.

“That’s it,Buck,” He says. “Let it go.”

Bucky takes a sobbing breath and comes again, his hips jerking a little and his hands clenching into fists in the counter. “D-don’t stop,” he pants.

At this point it would take an army to make Steve stop.

There’s a splash of warmth on his bare foot, and he looks down to see a steady stream of semen dripping onto the towel beneath Bucky’s feet. While he’s looking Bucky shudders again with an almost pained cry and comes again adding to the puddle.

Steve forces himself to look back at the muscles of Bucky’s back and hold onto the steady rhythm. After one more orgasm, Bucky reaches between his legs and Steve makes himself look away. He keeps Bucky’s movements in his peripheral so he can watch for signs of distress, but allows Bucky a little privacy.

The next orgasm is loud and long and Bucky sobs through it. “Good job, Buck, you’re doing so good.” Steve strokes his hand up and down Bucky’s now sweat damp back, making sure his hands are the only point of contact. When Bucky stills Steve does the same, they’re both breathing hard. He keeps his hands where they are, but doesn’t move them. Steve takes a deep breath and forces his voice to be steady, “How you doing, pal?”

“I think,” Bucky shudders. “I think I’m done.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Steve says and starts rubbing his back again. “I’m going to come out slow, alright?” Bucky nods and Steve drags his fingers out slow, keeping pressure on Bucky’s lower back. Once his hand is clear Bucky lets out a relieved sigh and Steve takes a small, careful step back. “You want me to help you clean up or do you want-”

“I’m good, Steve,” Bucky says. His voice sounds drained, but not hollow like it gets when he’s gone away inside his head. “I’ll, uh, see you at breakfast.”

Steve nods and steps carefully out of the room. Bucky doesn’t look up from where he’s hunched over the counter and Steve is glad. He walks quickly into his own room and barely manages to get the door shut before he’s shoving his hand, still slick with lube, down his tented pajama pants. A couple quick strokes, the memory of Bucky’s sobbing full bodied moans and the way he clenched around Steve’s fingers and Steve is coming so hard his knees give out.

He lets himself sit on the floor, mind blank and body lax with spent pleasure before he heads to his private bathroom to clean up.

Guilt prickles at the back of his mind as Steve changes into fresh pants and underwear and crawls back into bed. This wasn’t about sex, he was just doing what he could to help Bucky out and it wasn’t okay for him to get off on it.

The whole situation leaves him with a tangle of emotion that he’s too tired to sort through. For now, he’s helped ease Bucky’s pain and his own body is still pleasantly loose from orgasm. He closes his eyes and lets sleep drags him under.

Not OP but really enjoying this far! I loved the prompt - prostate milking is my jam - and I really like what you've done with it, excited to see where it goes. Thanks for writing!

OP here AND YES SOMEONE FILLED MY PROMPT I AM SO EXCITED THAN YOU.

And yes, it is sort of what I had in mind. I like the awkwardness of Steve trying to keep it non-sexual, and the the delicious guilt of him jerking off after.

Thank you so much for filling, and congrats on out HTP baptism. Can't wait for the rest.

Congrats on your first HTP fic, this is GREAT!

yesssssssssss this is EXCELLENT

I'm so glad to see a fill for this delicious prompt!

You've done such a good job with the Steve's sexual tension and Bucky's reluctant desperation. I loved Bucky sobbing through the orgasms, and Steve needing to get himself off in his room afterwards (and the shame and guilt that followed). Thank you for this!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Milking Bucky

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Sweet Release 1a/3

Sweet Release 1b/3

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