hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because

hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

Link your fills on the fill post, post unprompted fills as replies to a header comment so the wall o' text is collapsible, and let me know if you're interested in helping out with the Pinboard archive.

[Rules in full] [Round 1] [Round 2] [Round 3] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by

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All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

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Repost of a (very) old prompt:

One day, Steve comes home to a naked (plugged?) trembling winter soldier kneeling in his living room.

Rumlow and his goons captured Bucky again, and seeing as he's no good to them anymore, decided to use him to completely destroy Steve. They messed with his memory, superimposing Steve on all the worst abuses Bucky suffered, then told him he'd been given to Steve to play with.

Bucky is desperately, viscerally afraid of him. He doesn't just expect Steve to hurt him, he knows he will. Captain Rogers was always the cruellest of his masters.

Lots of trashy heartbreak ensues. Bonus for Rumlow and Bucky referring to Bucky as "the asset" and "it".

Damn it.

:digs through old files to find that few hundred words:

I think I love you

The first thing Steve notices when he opens the door is the smell.

The apartment he and Bucky have shared for the past two years doesn't smell as it normally does. No musty laundry smell, or the way Bucky's cheap deodorant smells, or the smell of something burning in the microwave because Bucky burns fucking water if he tries to cook. The apartment smells different. Antiseptic.

The next thing Steve notices is Bucky himself, kneeling naked in the middle of the living room. Bucky's got his hands secured behind his back with high-tech cuffs, and Steve can see the black silicone handle of what he's pretty sure is a butt-plug sticking out of Bucky's ass. That's not his first priority, though, even though his treacherous cock likes the sight. Disregarding his cock, his mind's first priority is how Bucky's body is trembling like a leaf at the sight of Steve. How his head immediately bows and his eyes focus on the ground. How fucking terrified Bucky is of him.

"Bucky?" Steve tries, because he's having trouble formulating words.

Bucky says something to him in Russian, his eyes never leaving the floor. Steve's used to Bucky reverting to Russian at random moments.

"I don't speak Russian, man, I've told you that," Steve responds kindly.

Bucky chances a glance at Steve. There's utter terror in his eyes.

"R-ready to comply," Bucky translates. "Captain Rogers. I-I'm sorry, I'll speak in English for our- session. I know you like me to speak in English."

"What the hell are you talking about, Buck?"

Bucky shakes his head wildly, the hair flying around his face. His eyes have unfocused from Steve.

"I'm sorry, but- but that's not my name. Would you like me to respond to that name, sir?"

Steve's blood has gone cold. Bucky used to behave like this, right after Insight. Right after Steve, Sam, and Natasha had found him. He hasn't for over a year now, and Steve's been so relieved at the progress Bucky has made. Steve's worried about this level of regression. He's worried about the cause of it.

"What is your name, then?" Steve asks with a dry throat. "What do you want me to call you?"

"I am designate Asset," Bucky responds flatly to the floor. "Or Soldat- sorry, Soldier. Often it. But you can call me whatever you like, sir."

Steve's known this for years. Ever since Nat handed him that file with all the sordid details of Bucky's captivity. He knows what HYDRA's done to Bucky. He just thought Bucky had been getting better living with him.

"Bucky," Steve tells him, maybe a bit too forcefully. "Your name is Bucky."

Bucky cocks his head to one side, gazing introspectively at the floor.

"Yes," he says after a moment. "I remember now, Captain Rogers. You always liked to call me that."

"Bucky," Steve pleads. "You've moved passed this, I know you have. You know who you are now. Don't you?"

"I'm whatever you want me to be. Sir."

Bucky speaks matter-of-factly.

"No," Steve almost yells, hating himself when Bucky flinches at his feet. "What- no, who do you want to be, Bucky?"

"I want to be of use," Bucky intones. "I want to be good for you."

"No," Steve repeats gently. "Why- what brought this on, Buck? You've been doing so good lately. Why are you like this now?"

"Like what, sir?"

"Like," Steve tastes ashes in his mouth. "Like what they made you."

"Agent Rumlow visited while you were gone," Bucky reports to the floor, obviously afraid to look at Steve. "He and some of his soldiers. He reminded me of what I am."

"And what is that?" Steve tries not to choke on his anger and grief.

"An asset. A thing. Nothing more than a tool to be used."

Bucky doesn't sound like he has an opinion on the matter.

"Did- did he- did they- use you, Bucky?"

"Yes," Bucky nods. "Rumlow took me on the sofa. Four of his men used me after he'd finished. And then Rumlow reminded me of how I've been failing you, Captain Rogers. He reminded me how much you used to enjoy using me. I'm ready to serve you now, if you'd like. I'm wet and open for you."

Steve pushes his murderous rage to the side. Later. He'll have Nat help him find that piece of shit Rumlow later, and then he'll turn him and his goons into shredded beef.

"No, Buck," Steve shakes his head, but realizes Bucky isn't watching him. He sinks to his knees in front of Bucky, bringing him to eye level. "Bucky, look at me."

"Yes, sir," Bucky obeys with obvious fear. He's still shaking.

"You don't have to call me 'sir.'"

Bucky cocks his head again, thinking.

"Steve," he decides after a moment. "You like me to call you Steve."

"Yes," Steve nods wildly with relief. "God, yes, Bucky. I'm Steve, and you're Bucky."

Bucky shuffles around on his knees so his back is to Steve. He drops his head to the ground, presenting his plugged ass to Steve as he presses his face against the carpet.

"Fuck me, Steve," he says with no emotion. "Fuck me however you want."

His entire body shakes with fear. It shakes harder when Steve moves to his side and raises him back to his knees.

"No, Buck," Steve tells him firmly. "We did- we used to- back when we were young and it wasn't allowed. We did it anyway. But not the way he told you. It was when I was small and sick all the time, and sometimes you made love to me, and sometimes I made love to you, but it wasn't like this. There wasn't any fear, Buck. Only love."

"You want me to love you."

Bucky's voice tremors on the statement.

"Only if you want to."

Bucky's eyes widen.

"I-I don't think I can fake that, sir. Please don't punish me. Please."

"No," Steve shakes his head, trying to quell his horror. "No punishment. Only love."

Bucky's watching him, half-terrified and half-intrigued. Steve wonders what ideas Rumlow put in his head. If he made an idea of Captain America that used and abused Bucky as bad or worse than HYDRA. He hates that he has to do damage control yet again. He hates that they'd found Bucky here in this place that was supposed to be safe and made it a place of fear.

"You only deserve love, my love," Steve tells Bucky, longing to hold him, or kiss him, but restraining himself. "Only love. 'Til the end of the line."

Bucky's eyes narrow at their familiar phrase. It worked once before, and it appears to be working again.

"Steve," he says slowly, differently than before. "Steve, they- they- "

Steve watches the light dawn in Bucky's eyes, and suddenly it's Bucky kneeling before him once more. His Bucky.

"Oh God, what did I do? Steve, what did they make me do this time?"

Bucky lurches forward into Steve's arms, and Steve holds him as he trembles, reaching around to undo the restraints around Bucky's wrists.

"Nothing, Buck. You did nothing, I promise. They got inside your head, but you're back again, and you didn't do anything."

Bucky presses his face into Steve's shoulder as his metal and flesh arms come around to hold Steve's lower back. He's still shaking.

"They told me- they made me believe- it was you. Hurting me. Using me. You doing it instead of them."

Steve's rage crests, but he pushes it aside again. Later, he reminds himself. Later. He'll make those fuckers wish they'd never been born, but later.

"It wasn't," he assures Bucky. "I promise you, Buck. It wasn't me."

"I know," Bucky sighs into Steve's shoulder. "I know."

"We'll get that thing out of you," Steve promises, not moving until Bucky's ready. "And we'll get you dressed, get you something to eat- "

"Not yet," Bucky breathes into Steve's shoulder. Steve can feel it vibrating in his skin. "Please, I can't yet. I have to- I have to remember you."

Steve nods, kisses the top of Bucky's trembling head.

"Okay," he promises. "Okay, my love. Just let me know when you're ready."

It's a long time before Bucky's ready. Before his panic subsides and his body stops shaking. Steve counts every second a blessing, holding Bucky in his arms. It's a blessing, how Bucky still remembers him. It's a blessing, how he can hold Bucky again. It's a blessing, and he wouldn't trade it for the world.

This was wonderful anon :)

"Oh God, what did I do? Steve, what did they make me do this time?" How perfect (and perfectly heartbreaking) that Bucky's first concern isn't for himself, what did they do to me this time, but that he might have been forced to hurt others.

Lovely fill.

*lip wobbles* oh sweet trash feels, how I love thee. :D

Amazing. Thank you anon. Here, have some chicken wires as payment.

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Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

The asset's "re-education"

Re: The asset's "re-education"

Re: The asset's "re-education"

Mini-Fill: Love

Re: Mini-Fill: Love

Re: Mini-Fill: Love

Re: Mini-Fill: Love

Re: Mini-Fill: Love