hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because

hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

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All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

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AA here,

It has been quite a while. Had to quit school, wasn't doing very good emotionally for me.

Had writer's block for a long time, but I'm back. I couldn't abandon this story, it's my baby.

Perhaps this next part has been influenced by my mental state but any way.

Let me say that I am so grateful for your comments, they really helped drag me out of my funk.

------

“Please, Sir please. The Asset begs to be punished! It is ready to comply! Please!” Bucky screams at the top of his lungs, the horrible sound of his voice carrying through the practically-hulk-proof isolation chamber's speaker system. Bucky's pale and harrowed face rendered in perfect clarity on the wall mounted monitor.

On a seemingly straightforward mission not three weeks ago, members of a hidden HYDRA cell managed to activate the Winter Soldier programming which Steve and the others had all thought purged from Bucky's mind.

Once everything was said and done, the HYDRA agents dead and the day saved, Steve had found out how wrong he'd been.

A few days after Bucky had pulled Steve out of the river under the falling Helicarrier he’d showed up, dressed in some scavenged clothes, on the doorstep of Stark Tower. Steve had coaxed him through the evacuated reception area up to his apartment, where Bucky had asked, “James Buchanan Barnes, that's… my name?”

“Yea, Buck,” Steve had whispered in reverence, wishing to touch him but holding back in fear of scaring him away. “How much do you…”

“Steve,” he said the name as if testing it out. “I… I don't remember everything… but it's me, it's Bucky. I'm back now,” Buck had promised, all doe eyes and wobbly lip.

Five days after Bucky had appeared out of nowhere Steve's resolve cracked and they fucked for the first time in over seventy years. Bucky had looked so beautiful, all shy and waiting on Steve to guide him through it again like they had before the fall.

A lie, a flighty fantasy. And Steve had swallowed it all, hook, line and sinker.

Now Steve realized that it had been the Asset looking for ways of pleasing its handler, and Steve felt like throwing up.

The other Avengers stood around Steve in silence as the video feed continued, promises of obedience and perfect service in the hope of forgiveness kept pouring out like a broken record. Bucky didn't even talk about himself like a person anymore, only the Asset, 'it’.

That made Steve's blood boil. Everyone responsible for Bucky's current state were either dead or beyond Steve's grasp. Except for one; himself. Because, really, if he hadn't let Bucky fall off that train seventy years ago then Bucky wouldn't have landed in the grip of HYDRA, Bucky wouldn't have been turned into this broken thing, he wouldn't have-

Steve wanted very much to go back down to the gym and punch a bag of sand, but if he did that he might never stop. Bucky -or what was left of him- needed Steve to be here, needed Steve to go through with this.

JARVIS, along with every other doctor they trusted to have a look at Bucky’s readings all told them the same thing; Bucky was dying, inexplicable bodywide organ failure. It was a miracle he was still up and lucid, they all said.

No miracle, Steve knew. Zola’s experiment and Steve's bastardized serum was the only thing keeping the reaper from Bucky now. Everytime they tried to offer treatment or explain to Bucky that he was free, that he didn't need a handler, his condition just deteriorated.

“Before I go in,” Steve said. “I need you guys to promise me something.”

Everyone nodded.

“I need all of you to watch my back… for his sake. To keep vigilant of the signs. I want JARVIS to monitor us around the clock and report anything… suspicious. If I turn into someone else… If I go too deep and lose sight of why I'm doing this I want you to stop me by any means necessary… because I… I couldn't live with myself if I…”

Sam put a steady hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “We've got your back, man. You can lean on us, that's a promise.”

Tony gave Steve a nod. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir. Beginning to upgrade Captain Roger's quarters. Structural reinforcement should be completed in the next 72 hours. Installation of surveillance systems will be finished within in the hour, Sir.”

“Steve, anything else you'd like to add just tell JARVIS, no need to clear it with me. Now I'll be down in the lab, taking another crack on those encrypted files.” Tony gave Steve's other shoulder a pat as he passed, sharing a grimm look for just a moment.

Before Steve could reach the cell door, Nat cornered him. “You don't need me to tell you that your man, the man you know, won't come back. What these people do…” She looked away into the distance, blinked once and then turned back. “They break people and make something different with the pieces,” she said bluntly

Steve opened his mouth to say something but Nat continued before he could get anything out.

“I'm not telling you not to do this, I can see you need to. Just… watch out for yourself.”

Steve blinked, looked down at his feet. “I know,” was all he said.

The reinforced door slid open to reveal Bucky's ragged form kneeling bare on the floor, silent for once, in the middle of the room. As Steve took a wobbly step forward, he noticed the squishy, gymnastics mat like padding that covered every surface of the pale cell interior.

Bucky twitched at the soft sound of Steve's footstep but didn't look up from the space right in front of his own knees. Steve took another step, and another twitch followed; by the time Steve was standing in front of him, Bucky was actively shaking.

Steve took a breath, trying to think of something to say, everything he'd planned up until this point gone, but Bucky beat him to it. He looked up at Steve with bloodshot eyes and said with a sandpaper voice, “The Asset is ready for the next mission, sir. What is the target?” His skin was wax pale and clammy with perspiration.

“There is no target,” Steve said, keeping his voice perfectly controlled and free of all the emotions that wanted an out. “There’ll be no new missio-”

Bucky broke down sobbing, a horrendous sound tearing from his throat. “Please, s-sir. The Asset can still ser-ve! Allow it to show that it is s-still operational! Just one chance, please, sir!”

There comes a point where you know there will be no turning back. Where you can see your future laid out before you. Steve knew this was it, he also knew there had never been real choice for him. There never was when it came to Bucky. “You will continue to serve me… Asset.” the words tasted like ash in Steve's mouth but he kept going anyway because there was a light in Bucky's eyes now, hope, however warped. “But no more field work. No more targets.”

“No more combat missions?” Bucky asked breathlessly, slightly disbelieving, when Steve didn't say more. “The Asset is only for recreational use then?”

“Yes,” Steve said past the lump in my his throat.

“W-who’ll be authorized to utilize the Asset?” Bucky licked his lips nervously.

“No one!” Steve said sharper than he had intended. Bucky flinched. “Ah-I mean...no one... except me. Do you understand? You only… only serve me, no one else.”

There was more than hope in Bucky's eyes now, worship, delirious gratitude. It made something in Steve's guts twist up in knots.

Bucky gulped audibly. “Sir, may the Asset be of service to Handler Rogers right now now?” he asked, practically begged.

Here it came. “Yes… Asset. You may.”

Bucky wasted no time getting Steve out off his pants. He just pulled down the zipper and fished Steve's cock out into the open air. A bare breath later and he was choking on it, already halfway down to the root.

Steve groaned, hating himself for enjoying how that tight heat convulsed around him. Hating that he’d gotten half-hard from the mere sight of Bucky on his knees.

The blowjob was sloppy and uncoordinated. Driven more by Bucky’s desperation than any true desire, Steve knew. Not that it made a difference for Steve's traitorous cock; it was already hard as steel inside Bucky's throat.

The one-way mirror in the opposite wall showed his expression as the Asset brought him to orgasm, the face of Alexander Pierce moaned and shot down the Asset’s throat.

------

Handler Rogers came awake from his peaceful slumber with a shout. The Asset flinches as it gets ripped out off its own fuzzy haze.

It watches Handler Rogers dry-heave for a moment, pitched forward on his hands and knees over the soft grass just out of arm's reach, staring into nothing. It makes the Asset tremble in its bonds to see Handler Rogers so distressed.

The Asset wracks it's brain for something, anything, to help. Even if it isn't the Asset's place to do so.

“Sir!” It tries calling out. No response.

“Handler Rogers, sir. What’s your status?” Still nothing.

“Steve-” The Asset doesn’t get any further before Handled Rogers jolts violently, wide, unseeing eyes whipping to the Asset's face.

“Buck…?” Handler Rogers asks hoarsely, like he's still dreaming.

The Asset shrinks back like it has been slapped and looks away where it's safe, where it can't see how much Handler Rogers wants it to be him.

It's not him. It must not try to be him for Handler Rogers like it pretended to when it first came to Handler Rogers years ago because that ended badly. It hurt Handler Rogers horribly. And the Asset would die before it tried that again

The Asset knows it’s not a person, just a weapon, a tool, a toy. Made for use.

It must never again try to be one.

Just a toy, made for use, made for Handler Rogers even though it can't be what, who, Handler Rogers wishes it to be the most.

------

Poor Steve!

I'm glad to see more of this.

AA here,

Thank you!

Yes, little Steve hurts so much!

And I'm glad to be back in it.

Such delicious angst. Poor Steve! Such prolonged stress can't be good for him. Poor Asset, what a dilemma he faces. Can he or should he be Bucky for a little while? Ahhhh. This is so good.

AA here,

It pleases me greatly that you find the angst to your liking! Yes, Poor Steve! But he can "handle it". Yeeeeessss, the Asset is so smol and precious! Playing Bucky is absolutely out of the question, no, the Asset will have to figure out something else to cheer up Handler Rogers... But what could that be?

Thanks for commenting!

I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but thank you for sharing this new installment (it was just what I was hoping for - Steve POV and background on how all this started). Even as you torment your characters, your writing makes real people (ie, readers) happy.

AA here,

I'm doing better now but thank you so much anyway, it means a lot to me that you care. Someone requested a bit of Steve POV and some background, it was just what I needed to write to get myself going again, but you're welcome! Hurting these boys and helping you people is everything I want to do with my writing.

Thank you for this excellent update! So great (and heartbreaking!) to see how it all began...

And on a personal note, AA, sorry to hear things have been hard. Here's sending good thoughts your way!

AA here,

Thank you for commenting!
It's entirely my pleasure.

I got myself out of the environment that was messing with me before it got too bad, and I'm doing much better right now. A thousand liquified old bananas served in unwashed jockstraps for you!

I loved this story since the start. Sorry you had such a hard type personally, and thank you for the update.

AA here,

It means so much to me to hear you say that, thank you SO MUCH! I'm moving forward now, but thank you for caring. I'm writing just as much for you as for myself, I love doing this!

Thank you for commenting!

jESUS- This was a ride- a ride I loved and my god this was so good.

>>Handler Rogers wants to use the Asset as a cushion on the soft grass! He will rest his head on its body!

Okay- wow, this, just blew me away. He is legitimately euphoric over this. I forsee, as he is allowed to make more and more requests, that Steve might start to learn that the shattered pieces of Bucky are definitely in there- still so very in love with him, that to the full extent Asset CAN, he is enthusiastic in his desire and consent.

He sees Steve as Handler, but he is greedy with him, he has WANTS with him, and those WANTS are all wrapped up in remnants of LOVING him.

I came late to this party- and as someone struggling hardcore with burnout, depression, and all that fun jazz- *offers lowfive* your work is a gift, and you changed my day, literally this fic made me not ache inside for a while. Thank you.

AA here,

First of *accepts lowfive*.

Welcome to the party, knowing that I helped you feel a bit better with my writing warms my heart. I hope you'll like the next part which should be done soon(ish).

>>Okay- wow, this, just blew me away. He is legitimately euphoric over this.

Yes! The Asset exists to serve its handlers, Handler Rogers is the best handler in the world! And any opportunity to please him is a gift!

>> I forsee, as he is allowed to make more and more requests, that Steve might start to learn that the shattered pieces of Bucky are definitely in there- still so very in love with him, that to the full extent Asset CAN, he is enthusiastic in his desire and consent.

Steve's long term plan is to encourage the Asset in any behavior that might lead to it puzzling together that it is actually a person. When the Asset started to ASK FOR THINGS Steve decided that he was going to fulfill those requests no matter what they were.

I don't want to spoil it but pretty soon the Asset will start to ask for a few things that Steve will have to struggle with. He still struggles with having sex with the Asset because he knows how shaky that consent really is.

>>He sees Steve as Handler, but he is greedy with him, he has WANTS with him, and those WANTS are all wrapped up in remnants of LOVING him.

Yes! But the Asset isn't supposed to want things so it must be a bad Asset.

Thank you for commenting! I love hearing what you have to say about what I write.

Poor Steve! so much angst, but I love it

AA here,

Poor Steve indeed, so much ANGST, I'm glad you liked it!

*stage whispers* It gets worse, I promise!

OP here, I'm so sorry for the long delay in commenting, real life got to me too and I basically forgot fandom existed for a while. I remember the first several installments of this so fondly and coming back to see so much more of it is like sinking into a lush warm bath made of all my favourite trash things that never goes cold. This is pretty much everything I have ever wanted in a fic -- the asset's neediness, its total lack of self-esteem, its desire to be objectified and be of use, its helpless touch starvation and desperation for affection, the way any little kindness or gentleness is like a hit to its damaged psyche and a hotline to its poor needy cock. You have such a lavish way with words that reading this is like being the asset and experiencing everything through its eyes and in its poor touch deprived skin. All the loving restraints and pettings and fuzzy subspace feelings!! You've basically hit all of my kinks right on the head, including ones I didn't know I had, like the restraints and plugging and sounding and the human furniture thing, which aren't on my normal kink list but work so perfectly in this context. And then that last part, with Steve having no choice but to give in and seeing Pierce in the mirror, and the plot twist that the asset has tried to be Bucky before! Is the asset going to be able to comfort his hurting handler? *puppy eyes*

You are brilliant writer and I could read a million years of this so THANK YOU for being so good to us with this nice long sumptuous fill! I would love to see more whenever life allows you to come back to this!

OP again, I just saw your comment above ("Steve's long term plan is to encourage the Asset in any behavior that might lead to it puzzling together that it is actually a person. When the Asset started to ASK FOR THINGS Steve decided that he was going to fulfill those requests no matter what they were. I don't want to spoil it but pretty soon the Asset will start to ask for a few things that Steve will have to struggle with. He still struggles with having sex with the Asset because he knows how shaky that consent really is." ) and I just have to say that I'm so looking forward to that! One reason I love this fic is that it's gorgeously fulfilling fantasy idfic for me, but it's also so interesting and smart with the glimpses it gives us of Steve's struggles and tactics as a handler. He really is the asset's handler, doing his best to deal with its difficulties and to bring out the best in it. Poor darlings.

AA here,

Life *Sigh*. That shit kills you.

Morbid humor aside, You won't believe how much I'm smiling right now! My face HURTS but I can't stop smiling because you make me so HAPPY! If reading my fic is like a bath for you, then reading your comments is like a spa massage treatment for me! THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME TO READ THIS! *dying whale noises* [throws a garbage mountain on you]

Somewhat more coherently,

>the asset's neediness, its total lack of self-esteem, its desire to be objectified and be of use, its helpless touch starvation and desperation for affection, the way any little kindness or gentleness is like a hit to its damaged psyche and a hotline to its poor needy cock.

Yes, yes, YES, YAS, YAAAASSSS!!!!!!!! This glorious little whump-muffin is my heart!

>You have such a lavish way with words that reading this is like being the asset and experiencing everything through its eyes and in its poor touch deprived skin.

You really think so? I feel like I'm word-vomiting this incoherent mess, repeating the same adjectives to describe Handler Rogers's hands and voice and eyes over and over again, making an ass of myself trying to remain consistent with "what is the Asset wearing right now? did he take that tings off in the scene before or not?" [flipping through the bird's nest that is my notes] and generally being a clumsy idiot trying to get the idea of the fic from my mind into writing without molesting the thing with my amateur skills beyond recognition and give it the justice it deserves.

> You've basically hit all of my kinks right on the head, including ones I didn't know I had, like the restraints and plugging and sounding and the human furniture thing, which aren't on my normal kink list but work so perfectly in this context.

I'm glad they worked for you. I was mostly just going: "Is that enough? Nah, lets twist the knife even further by incorporating another one of my secret unrealistic fantasy kinks into this sexual miss-match pie! Or maybe two!"

>And then that last part, with Steve having no choice but to give in and seeing Pierce in the mirror, and the plot twist that the asset has tried to be Bucky before! Is the asset going to be able to comfort his hurting handler? *puppy eyes*

The Asset will definitely try its hardest, but- well...comfort might not be the right word for it, given what Handler Rogers just dreamed about.

>You are brilliant writer and I could read a million years of this so THANK YOU for being so good to us with this nice long sumptuous fill!

*Heart cracks from the internal pressure of all the love overloading the emotional regulatory system*

> I would love to see more whenever life allows you to come back to this!

I'm almost finished with the next part. So, unless I hit another road bump (Murphy's Law and all that) I should be able to get it out soon...ish-like, sort of, idk. But let me tell you that reading your's and everyone else's comments have really spurred me on!

>OP again, I just saw your comment above (----) and I just have to say that I'm so looking forward to that!

[doing the Mr Burns fingers] EEEEEEXCCEEELLLLLEEENNNT...hopefully it will hurt just as deliciously as I intend it to.

>One reason I love this fic is that it's gorgeously fulfilling fantasy idfic for me, but it's also so interesting and smart with the glimpses it gives us of Steve's struggles and tactics as a handler.

Thank you that's so nice of you to say! I try...I do, but I don't know where I hit on the scale between subtle and overt. Could you maybe point some of those glimpses out for me or something?

>He really is the asset's handler, doing his best to deal with its difficulties and to bring out the best in it.

"Yes! Handler Rogers is Best Handler Ever! He takes care of the Asset because he can see some good use in it and is the most patient and kind handler ever to be so careful with the Asset when he uses it! The Asset would do ANYTHING for Handler Rogers if it were good enough, it would kill and even DIE for him in a second if he wanted it and even though there are some things the Asset is too broken, useless, pathetic, weak and stupid to do for him he still keeps it close to him and lets it serve him in what little ways it can."

Or in other words, you could say that the Asset loves Handler Rogers, if you could say that a thing such as it is capable of feeling love at all.

>Poor darlings.

I KNNNOOOWWWW!!!!!

Thank you so much for commenting! You are awesome!

I'm glad they worked for you. I was mostly just going: "Is that enough? Nah, lets twist the knife even further by incorporating another one of my secret unrealistic fantasy kinks into this sexual miss-match pie! Or maybe two!"
The more the merrier! I'm so into the emotional/psychosexual dynamic you've written here that practically any kink you go for is going to have impact.

I don't know where I hit on the scale between subtle and overt. Could you maybe point some of those glimpses out for me or something?
I've pretty much just loved everything so far :P All the little pauses he takes to compose himself, cutting himself off so he doesn't say a word that triggers or confuses the asset, all of that. I also wondered, in the scene where Bucky overhears Steve bragging about him to Sam, if Steve orchestrated that on purpose to reassure him -- I liked that we were kept guessing about that one. And I also loved the moments where I think we see Steve losing control a bit, like when Bucky is sucking on the Tits of Freedom and he can't help but enjoy it. ;)

Basically I love everything so I hope you keep doing whatever you like with this story because you're knocking it out of the park every single time. And yay for the soon-to-be-ready update! Much excite!

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Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

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