Dumpster #4: I Don't See How That's a Party

[trashmod]

Okay, kids, you know the drill. Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because hydratrashmeme is about as far from a safe space as you can get. Garbage we like: noncon, whump, aftermath, violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves. Garbage you should find a different trashcan for: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, OOC evil!good guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves, rotting leftovers dressed up as a romantic gourmet meal. Nothing wrong with 'em, but this isn't the crowd you should be pitching to if you're trying to sell Brock Rumlow as anything but a human dumpster fire.

Link your fills on the fill post, post unprompted fills as replies to a header comment so the wall o' text is collapsible, and let me know if you're interested in helping out with the Pinboard archive.

[Rules in full] [Round 1] [Round 2] [Round 3] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by greenkirtle)] [Round 4 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

All prompts or fills that contain Infinity War spoilers must go on the Infinity War spoiler post until May 26th. Spoilers in the main dumpsters will be deleted.

Round 4 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 5.

Comments

Re: BARFing Out Hurt (4/?) antisemitism ahoy

[(Anonymous)]

Aw man-sorry about your internet cutting out and you losing the first draft of this :( It's still wonderful, don't doubt that!

Pre-war Bucky angst with Bucky selling himself and not seeing how good he is and believing that he never deserved Steve and pining after him and just all of this... ***flails*** I know I must sound so over the top with these replies, but I wasn't even sure this would be filled, and you've packed so many of my favorite tropes in here purely by chance and given me exactly what I was hoping for when I requested this--it's like my birthday two weeks early. Thank you so, so much.

Aw, Bucky's dialect's coming back!

NIN-are we secretly long-lost twins or something? Because you are just pressing all of my buttons with this fill, right down to your music choices! NIN is like, my optimal Bucky/WS musical accompaniment (Is that cliche of me? Eh, don't care, still love it.)

I'm cool with seeing Tony grow a heart, no worries! Sorry if I came across as overly critical of him--I wasn't saying he needs to stay a self-centered ass, more that I like that you have him starting out that way. Don't feel boxed in by anything I start rambling about.

Re: BARFing Out Hurt (4/?) antisemitism ahoy

[(Anonymous)]

AA- YAY!!! Super glad this worked despite being redone. Tony's words were so much better the first time through- *hand waves*

TBH just the right level of top- not over it at all. It feeds my positive attention addiction and balances out how shit I feel. (Depressed writer is a trope, ayyy.)

I am so very glad to hear I am doing your prompt justice. Happy early Bday- As Bucky comes to grapple more directly with what was done, more of him comes back. He doesn't find that to be comforting.

I have about four thousand songs I want to use for Bucky feels- because every day is Bucky feels day for me, and that means songs too. Someday I will do the awful fic that goes with NIN - Only.
On that day, I may have to stop though- so instead- Into the Void will wrap up the journal music fest.

You may scream at the ending I have planned. Tony grows a heart, but I don't think Steve really approves of the kind of support Tony gives as a result of that heart. Then again, maybe someone will take up the gauntlet of Steve finding the journal or another one, and he might understand after all.

As it is I have a headcanon ending for this, but I plan to leave it at the title.

As for Tony- if he doesn't wiggle a little, grow a little, he wouldn't be Tony. He's just as human as Steve, just as flawed. (Okay a lot more flawed. He's a human disaster and I shamelessly love Clint Barton in the comics. Human disasters attrac me.) He's coming from a very upset place. He was trying to do the right thing, and for a certain value, he could be seen as in the right- could see himself as in the right, and, without actively seeking windows into other perspectives, he holds only that he was betrayed.

He holds all that hurt and pain, and he doesn't have the emotional maturity to set that pain aside, right at that moment. Also a lot of his asshole is also his coping mechanism. He assholes like a skunk stinks.

The journal acts as a window, letting him see a part of the events from another perspective, and by doing that, lets him re-evaluate himself and his own actions. Not that he goes that far in this fic, because he is a stunted manchild who more toddles towards being a functional human bean one pratfall at a time. BUT the potential is unlocked for him.

Re: BARFing Out Hurt (4/?) antisemitism ahoy

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry that you're feeling shitty--I feel you when it comes to lousy headspaces. It's good to hear that my feedback is helping, just a little.

It's just nice to know that someone else thought that my angsty little idea that wouldn't leave was worth making into a story by itself- I don't write fic (maybe someday?), and my mind doesn't usually go to trashy places without prompting (I mean I read trash from time to time but I can't *think* in trash, you know?) so it's pretty cool that you saw potential there too.

"Every day is Bucky feels day" Too true, also the song thing is so relatable--fictional characters should not be allowed to do this to us, man. Give me back my brain Bucky you asshole--aw, Steve, not you too! Welp, it's feels forever from now on, I guess.

I like Tony as a character even though I don't *like* him, so it's neat seeing someone who gets him flesh him out like you have- I tend to gravitate towards the more obviously sympathetic characters because I'm vanilla like that, but Tony has a charm to him, no doubt. There's something about an adult continually fumbling towards mental adulthood but never quite getting there that's easy to see oneself in--we want him to redeem himself because that means there's hope for us too. Of course, he has to keep failing because, well, so do we, but maybe we end up somewhere better than we were, even if the ideal is still far off.