hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

Welcome to the latest, greatest, scummiest iteration of

hydratrashmeme. Come on in and please check your sense of shame at the door.

Rules in brief: Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because this is emphatically not a safe space. Link your fills on the fill post. Unprompted fills: make a prompt or a header comment and reply to it with the full text. Continuations of fills from earlier rounds: just make sure you link in both places.

What's on-topic: Filthy and perverted twists on all the quality whump served up by Cap: Winter Soldier. Noncon, aftermath, uncomfortably sexualized violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves.
What's off-topic: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, shippy/romanticized noncon, MCU heroes repurposed into OOC or edgydark delivery vehicles for your fave's suffering. If you've got a prompt for one of those burning a hole in your brain, head on over to

mcu_trash.

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Somehow Hydra convinces the Winter Soldier that he needs their semen to survive. Maybe it's medicine, wtv. But here's the catch: it only works orally.
Cue the WS desperately trying to make them use his mouth while his rapists tease him and fuck his ass only. Or they start in his mouth, but when he's not fast enough they pull out and finish in his ass instead. Or maybe the other way round... they fuck his ass but if he begs really nicely, they'll change to his mouth? (They humiliate him endlessly for this, of course.)

Bonus points if the WS is desperate for cum, but still hates the actual act of *acquiring* it.
Double bonus if his asshole gets all sensitive and puffy, because ever since the Hydra goons had that great idea, nobody fucks his mouth anymore and so his ass gets pretty overused.

So while Bucky doesn't have his cybernetic arm yet, he's pretty defenseless against his prison guards, who of course take turns on his cute ass every night. He makes them feel so good that it's only polite they do something for him in return, right? So they make sure his night always ends with a "orgasm" of his own. Only when they say orgasm, they mean when he's pissing himself from pain.

+++ my entire collection of rotten banana peels if over the years, the Winter Soldier actually thinks that's what an orgasm (for someone like him) is like.

OMG this prompt is awesome!
The bonus killed me.

I'm just going to set up camp here, and shove this pile of moldy trash offerings out. This is a beautiful prompt, and I love everything about it.

AA

Thank you so much OP! I was worried it didn't turn out close enough to the prompt so I am glad you liked it!

I'm also glad you appreciated all the hints/references to other abuse/awful treatment. I wrote it in the hope that the reader could pick up more and more horror and awfulness every time they read it, because that's what I personally like best when I'm reading trash fics.

This is one where the aftermath could be so delightfully fucked up and sad.

A lot of Bucky's rape/abuse centered around twisted praise, positive reinforcement, sad rewards for good behavior, and general psychological fuckery.

In the aftermath, Bucky and Steve are rekindling a sexual relationship, and they play pretty rough. Bucky quickly discovers he can no longer stomach any sort of praise or reassurance RE: sex - being told he's doing well or being good and being taken care of/comforted afterwards makes him feel sick.

+ Option A - all the slow burn angst. Bucky keeps this hidden and is secretly miserable at all of Steve's intended affection, acts out to incite punishment and avoid praise, etc. Maybe after the truth comes out they try sex with no aftercare whatsoever and that doesn't work so well either

+ Option B - skip the angst and jump to the part where they get it right. Lots of humiliation and cruelty where Bucky enjoys being treated roughly and being told how dirtybadawful he is - not worrying about having to be "good" but just being able to let go.

And together they figure out some form of aftercare that actually feels good for both of them - maybe physical affection is okay but kind words aren't, maybe some words are okay but others aren't, maybe Bucky needs to be alone for a little while afterwards, maybe it looks like something else entirely, author's choice!

Inspired by the recent fuckpotato fill, which had HYDRA amputating the Winter Soldier to keep it in line and for more powerful cybernetics.

So what if there's an added feature to all the new limbs, which is that the moment WS sleeps or loses consciousness, they deactivate and fall off? Only handlers know how to reattach the arms.

It makes a lot of sense from the HYDRA perspective -- the asset *has* to return to handler if it wants to sleep and not wake up completely helpless. They don't have to worry about the Asset falling into enemy hands, plus plus it automates a step during cryo prep.

Anyways, some potential ideas:
- early training where WS has to re-learn how to use all of his cybernetic limbs, with HYDRA-appropriate reward/punishment structure
- WS having to earn his limbs one at a time from his handler, in increasingly trashy ways
- after Insight, WS must return to handler, and Steve finds WS' limbs first, before finding the trash party
- alternatively, WS stays awake for 3 days and goes to Steve the moment he's out of the hospital. Does the WS then fall asleep and leave Steve to discover the horror? Or does the WS try to stay awake, growing increasingly erratic as he deals with various trash-related hallucinations?

Basically I just want anything with fuckpotato WS

Set in the early phases of Bucky's brain being mush. Can I have him mindfucked and dissassociating so much that he doesn't know what's real, sometimes he hallucinates his captors/aggressors to being the Howlies/Steve? He's fighting to maintain his memories over the brainwashing, and this is how it manifests.

which leads to even more horror from Bucky of "Oh God! Dungan, I"m glad to see you!" *right before being brutally assaulted. A shocked and horrified, "Why are you doing this?"

Think of when Steve finds him after the first time he was captured in First Avenger, "Steve?" Only.... it's not really Steve. It's not even a Hydra good dressed like Steve. It's just his brain being optimistic.

*Hydra laughing about how crazy Bucky is. "He called me Steve today, I guess that means I have the biggest cock,"
*Blurred lines between nightmares and waking torture
****This is motivation to forget his past life and submit
*How does he remember this when he's starting to get his memory back? Does he know it was a hallucination?

Anything along these lines: during, recovery, During his first capture, ect. I'm a slut, give me anything. Bring me and break me a feisty Bucky.

Seconded.

+1000, I love this!

Steve and Bucky are together and Bucky’s being plagued by nightmares of his time as the Winter Soldier. Some of these nightmares involve Bucky being ordered to rape HYDRA prisoners—and one particularly terrible night, he dreams of brutally raping Steve. This affects their sex life in a multitude of ways but Steve’s always there to reassure him that it’s just a nightmare and that they’re both okay.

Except that’s a lie and it’s not a nightmare but a memory. Steve is falling apart internally and trying to be strong for the both of them. He fails and Bucky eventually realises what actually went down.

Oh, I really love this.

A recovering Bucky and Steve are getting back together. Steve knows about the rape/abuse and is very careful with Bucky during sex. What he doesn't know is that the gentle touches do absolutely nothing for Bucky, and Bucky is actually lying there fantasizing about being brutally raped in order to get himself off

+ Not going for dissociative flashbacks here - Bucky is thinking about the badwrong stuff on purpose
++ This is the only way he can get off now
+++ The truth comes out because Bucky accidentally starts struggling or saying no
++++ Steve is only briefly horrified and then like, wait, why didn't you just tell me so I can make that happen for you?

So post-Hydra, Bucky has trouble getting off without experiencing violence of some kind. So when he and Steve have sex, Bucky imagines Steve is raping him. He spins elaborate stories in his head of how he is being forced, chooses positions that are intentionally painful for him, imagines others are watching the two of them and laughing, etc. Essentially, he's playing out a rape fantasy in a way that's consensual and controlled and cathartic for him, but leaving Steve completely unaware.

Then Steve finds out somehow (maybe Bucky mentions it offhandedly not realizing it might make things weird, maybe he's been hiding it and confesses, maybe he yells out "no, please stop, I'll do anything" during sex and the whole thing unravels?). Steve is alarmed and kind of upset, which makes Bucky ashamed and angry at himself, which makes Steve ashamed and angry at himself, etc etc cue trashy angst for all

+ for some explicit flashbacks/memories of trash parties
++ for Bucky having had these fantasies before he became the Winter Soldier, and all the complicated trauma feels of having had terrible things happen to you that you have had and continue to have fantasies about

OP here, just read the prompt above this one and wow mine is shockingly similar to the point where a) I'm sorry for the duplication, but b) I'm so pleased I'm not alone with this particular trash fantasy.

OP of the other prompt here - yesss, great minds! I love the details of Bucky choosing intentionally painful positions and imagining others watching/laughing.

Have you tried "there is no shortage of blood" by dsudis on ao3? It's basically that

Not yet! I've seen it of course, but was intimidated by how long it is. I'll give it a go, thanks!

I love this prompt so much.

This is horrifying and really, really great.

****Sorry for the long wait! I went back and forth a lot on how I wanted to do this.*****

Steve shouldn't have been surprised by Bucky's capacity to argue now. He remembered what the asset was like with even a little freedom to speak up. Most of their arguments had been about Steve's unwillingness to have sex, so he shouldn't have been surprised by the topic either.

Historians thought Steve was the stubborn one. He was, but there was a reason he and Bucky had been such fast friends. Bucky had always given as good as he got and often better.

"I was no different from Rumlow, even if I tried not to hurt you physically. What we did to you was abuse," Steve insisted.

“It is different. You’re sorry.”

“Lots of abusers say they’re sorry. Doesn’t mean they won’t do it again.”

“You really think you could?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think. I did it. I’m capable.”

Bucky started to scoff, but then the stubborn glint in his eyes was replaced by desperation. “But… it was different with you. You told me you wanted me. You told me you love me.”

“Bucky, I raped you.”

“So you lied? You never wanted me? I remember wanting you. Pleasing you is the best part of being your asset.”

The present tense made Steve wince. Bucky hadn't chosen a scenario in which he didn't think of himself as the asset.

“I've always wanted you. It felt good to be with you like that, but it was wrong of me. Doesn't give me any right to take advantage of you like I did. Bucky. I raped you. I abused you. I’m never touching you again.”

A huff of warm breath against his shoulder told Steve what Bucky thought of that claim. He shifted away from his bedmate.

“Steve," Bucky said, "Even if you did hurt me, it's not like either of us had a choice. I drugged you to get you through your initiation."

"I know," Steve told him. The asset had removed its mask to get a lungful of the purple gas too. What Bucky thought he wanted wasn't in question. He couldn't give informed consent. He remembered some missions with Steve and some things from their childhood, but he still saw the latter as proof that he and Steve had been created by the same program. As Clint and Natasha had warned him, Bucky clung to what he had been taught to believe and rationalized any proof to the contrary until it somehow supported HYDRA's lies.

"Supersoldiers who don't comply get sent back to Siberia."

Knowing why it was happening didn't make it any easier for Steve to hear.

"We're safe now. That's never going to happen to either of us," Steve said firmly. I'm not a Winter Soldier. Bucky's just generalizing because he is a Winter Soldier and that's how he understands the world.

The second time both Natasha and Clint sat with him for a meeting with the deprogrammer, Steve had voiced conviction that he ought to be on trial with the rest of the surviving STRIKE agents. He didn't deserve to be, well, whatever an Avenger was, because he wasn't a civilian and he wasn't military now. For a moment, he had sincerely believed that Natasha might be about to hit him. He would have taken that without protest, but the look on her face when he flinched was…

The deprogrammer simply made a note. When Steve's attention snapped to him, he'd only raised one hand and said to ignore him. Natasha and Clint were perfectly capable and he was only there for backup and because he was licensed to provide documentation that Steve was receiving treatment. He couldn't help an unwilling patient. He hadn't even given Steve a name, so Steve could rage against the process all he wanted without feeling bad about his behavior toward a person.

Good. Steve's thought was strangely vicious in its vehemence.

Natasha's mouth had twitched at the explanation. Steve was too sick and tired to think about the mindgames they were trying to use to engage him.

Later, Natasha cornered him in the elevator.

"Steve," she said, studying his face intently. "What was that?"

Steve could only shake his head.

"Did they…" Her expression was carefully neutral. "Did they do something to you that I don't know about?"

Something you didn't tell me about, Steve interpreted and his back went up whether he meant it to or not. "I reported everything relevant," he said. Bucky had been the one abused, by Steve as well as HYDRA, so Steve had no right to be reacting this way.

A terrible thought crossed his mind. What if Rumlow was right and supersoldiers did need order? He felt more lost now than he had with HYDRA. He had been anxious, sad, and angry, and the guilt and horror never faded, but he hadn't been afraid of other people like this until after their escape.

There had been some bad moments with HYDRA when Steve had honestly started to wonder about himself, but HYDRA had been full of lies. Steve knew that. Why couldn't he get it out of his head now?

Natasha was terrifying, but that wasn't because she'd been Steve's SHIELD handler. He'd been a good asset for them and done what he was supposed to. HYDRA was crippled because of what Steve had learned undercover and Natasha had never hurt him. Handler/asset relationships weren't supposed to be like what happened in the Winter Soldier Program, Steve knew that too. He had no reason to fear Natasha. The hell was wrong with him?

It was much much worse to be in Bucky's position. There was no question and no comparison. All the same, he wished he had someone he would trust without question.

Whatever was showing on his face, he could see Natasha's expression turning sympathetic.

"Steve," she began.

Steve interrupted, blurting, "Natasha, I'm really me, right? I mean, really me, not the way Bucky is Bucky."

She looked him over with what appeared to be real concern. "That's still bothering you?"

That hadn't been the response Steve was hoping for.

"Your floor, Agent Romanoff," Tony's AI announced and Steve abruptly froze. Forgetting about JARVIS and the knowledge that the tower was under constant surveillance did nothing to ease his paranoia. He and Bucky had almost never not been under surveillance and sooner or later that fact would come back to bite him. So far, no evidence of Steve's time with HYDRA had leaked to the public, but that was only a matter of time.

Steve deserved for the truth to come out.

Unfortunately, Steve wouldn’t be the only one affected if it did.

Natasha didn’t get out of the elevator.

“You’re you, Steve. I swear to you. Phil Coulson watched you be defrosted. You’re the same man we found in the ice.”

Letting out the shaky breath he'd been holding, Steve nodded and tried to make his shoulders relax. It didn't work very well. The muscles were so tight they hurt. “Thanks, Natasha.”

She drew him into a quick hug, but was out of the elevator and gone before Steve lost any more composure. He wished he felt comforted.

SHIELD hadn't found Steve, was the problem. The man in the ice who now identified himself as Steve Rogers could have been replaced long before SHIELD took custody of his frozen body. Besides, SHIELD was compromised by HYDRA at all levels.

Why am I even thinking about this again?

His throat felt thick. He swallowed.

It didn’t matter who he was. He’d been one of Bucky’s abusers. There could never be any excuse or absolution.

Bucky had his own appointments. Steve wasn't allowed to attend most of them in case he influenced Bucky. He didn't know what Bucky said or did in them either. Captain America couldn't take on any missions until Steve Rogers got his head on straight.

At this rate, I might as well retire for real.

Imagining that future was painful. He imagined living in the fancy prison of Avengers Tower, trying to share a bed with Bucky as platonically as possible, until the night Bucky finally understood Steve's betrayal and killed him.

That wasn't what Bucky deserved. Steve resigned himself to at least going through the motions.

"Please don't ask tonight," Steve mumbled, falling face-first into their bed with a heavy sigh. Silence answered him and he immediately felt bad for the order. He rolled over and rubbed hard at his face with both hands. "Shit, Buck. I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I'm not mad at you. Just... anything but sex."

More silence.

Concerned, Steve lowered his hands and looked for Bucky.

Bucky was standing next to the bed, studying the carpet.

"Bucky?"

"You used to enjoy cuddling with me."

The words were completely flat with no chance of being mistaken for a question.

God, cuddling sounded nice. He missed that. Cuddling wasn't like kissing. It didn't have to imply anything else was on the table. Steve didn't deserve the comfort of Bucky's body close to his, but Bucky did. They usually ended up in a more intimate position by morning anyway. The last thing Steve wanted to do was deprive Bucky of touch. The asset had always been starving for it. Was it weak of Steve to give in?

"I still like that," Steve said. " But only that, got it?" He waited for Bucky's nod of confirmation. "C'mere, Buck."

He was entirely too pliant in Steve's arms, but he seemed content enough.

Each time Steve bit back the urge to praise the asset, the scream built silently in his head until he realized he was crying.

"Stevie?" Bucky sat up and put his arms around Steve instead.

Steve cried harder, curling into Bucky's broad chest and hating himself for accepting the undeserved comfort. "I'm so sorry, Buck. I wish..." But wishing had never gotten anyone anywhere by itself. "I love you. I don't deserve you, but I love you. I'm so fucking sorry." A fresh wave of sobs shook him apart in Bucky's embrace. "I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I'm so glad you're still here with me."

"Yeah, punk," Bucky mumbled against his hair, stroking his side, "'m sorry too."

When Steve woke up, Bucky wasn't in bed with him.

This is my first prompt so I hope I’m doing it right:
My trash heart longs for a fic in which Bucky has a lot of sex with random strange men to reclaim his sexuality and put his trash party past behind him. He only goes for partners who he thinks he could easily defeat in combat though (like accountant types, all kinds of unfit guys) so he’ll feel safe. It all goes well until one guy doesn’t want to play by his rules anymore and Bucky realizes that he can’t fight back until it’s too late. I could go for some kind of bsdm scenario that Bucky thinks he can get out of easily but can’t or even better he freezes completely and does nothing to put a stop to whatever the rapist does to him/ complies with every instruction he gets and it’s purely psychological. Give me all of the “oh shit“ moments when he realizes what’s about to happen again and I’ll be forever in your debt if it’s also some of the aftermath and Bucky being ashamed to admit to it cuz he was supposed to be stronger than this and he blames himself for sleeping around in the first place.
+ for supportive Steve
++ for slut shaming/ name calling (from Bucky himself, others, the rapist)
- no golden showers/ scat please

Steve and post-TWS Bucky need to exfiltrate or destroy something deep inside a heavily guarded Hydra base. What better way in than through the front door?

So Bucky pretends to be a still-brainwashed Winter Soldier coming in from the cold, bringing them a trussed-up Captain America as a prisoner. Hydra are suspicious, of course. They don't know the full protocols to check his brainwashing, so they improvise ways to test his obedience: will he get on his knees and "service" the commanding officer in front of Steve? Will he torture Steve? Rape him? Strap him down in the mindwipe chair and give him an experience he desperately wants to forget?

+ "Rough me up before we go in. We've got to make it look realistic."
+ After a while, Steve's honestly not sure whether Bucky's a superb actor or whether Hydra managed to activate some latent brainwashing. Bucky realizes and tries to give him a sign of recognition that no one else will notice.
+ The two of them have an "abort and start raising hell" signal they agreed to beforehand. Steve never uses it.

Wow. Yes please.

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Page 28 of 68

Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

HYDRA/WS, desperate for sucking dick but only gets it up the ass

Hydra gives Bucky "orgasms"

Re: Hydra gives Bucky "orgasms"

Re: HYDRA/WS, desperate for sucking dick but only gets it up the ass

Re: FILL: "not that bad" gaslighting (6b/6)

Re: Hydra gives Bucky "orgasms"

no-praise kink

Fuckpotato WS loses limbs when he sleeps

Bucky/Hydra/Howlies/Steve Mindbreak hallucinations

Re: Bucky/Hydra/Howlies/Steve Mindbreak hallucinations

Re: Bucky/Hydra/Howlies/Steve Mindbreak hallucinations

Bucky thinks it was all a dream — then finds out it wasn’t (WS/Steve)

Re: Bucky thinks it was all a dream — then finds out it wasn’t (WS/Steve)

rape fantasies during otherwise vanilla sex

Bucky has secret rape fantasies during consensual sex with Steve

Re: Bucky has secret rape fantasies during consensual sex with Steve

Re: Bucky has secret rape fantasies during consensual sex with Steve

Re: rape fantasies during otherwise vanilla sex

Re: rape fantasies during otherwise vanilla sex

Re: WS/Hydra, Immediate Mission Aftermath Rape

Re: Fill: untitled Sam trashing (3/?)

Fill 103/110: Undeniable Plausibility - On to the aftermath!

Bucky gets raped by someone weaker than him

"Brainwashed" WS/Steve - test of loyalty

Re: "Brainwashed" WS/Steve - test of loyalty