Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

[trashmod]

Welcome to the latest, greatest, scummiest iteration of hydratrashmeme. Come on in and please check your sense of shame at the door.

Rules in brief: Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because this is emphatically not a safe space. Link your fills on the fill post. Unprompted fills: make a prompt or a header comment and reply to it with the full text. Continuations of fills from earlier rounds: just make sure you link in both places.

What's on-topic: Filthy and perverted twists on all the quality whump served up by Cap: Winter Soldier. Noncon, aftermath, uncomfortably sexualized violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves.
What's off-topic: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, shippy/romanticized noncon, MCU heroes repurposed into OOC or edgydark delivery vehicles for your fave's suffering. If you've got a prompt for one of those burning a hole in your brain, head on over to mcu_trash.

[Rules in full] [Round 1] [Round 2] [Round 3] [Round 4] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive] [Round 5 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Comments

Fill: The Quiet Game (8-9/?)

[devildears]

Steve kissed him again. Then he hesitated, biting his own lip. 

“Bucky, are you sure you're healed enough yet? I mean... You're not gonna bleed if we do this, are you?”

Bucky closed his eyes briefly and refused to think about his wounds and how bad it had looked at first. All torn-up and bloody, painful fissures around his abused hole which refused to close on its own... Steve didn’t need to know the gory details. 

“I don't know,” Bucky replied honestly. “We're not gonna find out if you keep acting like a virgin. I've shit showered and shaved down there several times this week. We should be fine.”

Steve frowned mock-disapprovingly, catching up on Bucky’s attempt to infuse an awkward situation with humor and cover for his own insecurity about it. “You couldn’t have put that a little more... I don’t know, Buck. Inviting maybe?” Steve quipped. “Sometimes it’s best to leave a little to the imagination.”

“What, too crass for you?” Bucky reached for Steve’s cock and squeezed, laughing at his startled moan. “Don't lie to me. You're still hard.”

“Fine you got me,” Steve said with a long-suffering sigh. “I’m always up for it.”

“That’s right.” Bucky snorted, then he looked at him more seriously. “All I know is, I'm done letting Hydra dictate my sex life. I want you and I don't care about a little blood.”

Steve smiled. “Then I don't either. Just tell me when it’s too much, ok? We can stop at any time.”

Bucky agreed. “Let's do this.” 

---

Steve took it as a challenge. He spent the better part of an hour worshiping Bucky’s body with his fingers and his mouth, licking and sucking at his filling cock to amp-up his arousal before he got even close to his boyfriend’s hole. Getting hard didn’t turn out to be a problem. 

Finally, when Bucky was about ready to blow, Steve squeezed his thighs and spread his legs.

“Breath, Buck,” Steve said, monitoring him for any signs that would tell him to back off in case it got too much.

When Bucky didn’t tell him to stop or tense any more than had to be expected, all things considered, breathing through the nervous flutter in his belly that warned him some sort of bomb might go off, Steve shifted his gaze and looked at the damage there. 

Discovering the scars, faintly white and pink around Bucky’s entrace in the shape of fractured lightning put a dent in things for a while.

Steve stopped all of his attempts at seduction and just looked at the new skin which had grown over the tearing Ward and his men had caused so carelessly. Their cruel sadism only reassured Steve of the righteousness of his plan to kill them all without remorse as soon as he got the chance. They had it coming. Steve had seen the blood. He remembered it.

How Bucky had managed the initial pain without a doctor despite of his injuries was beyond him. The tearing looked like it must have been in a desperate need for stiches and Steve wondered if Bucky had taken care of it himself somehow when he wasn’t looking. He didn’t dare to ask about it, afraid what Bucky’s answer might be. It couldn’t have been more than a field job anyways, with a regular needle and a thread.

Thankfully, the serum wasn’t too picky about hygiene and finesse in the way it worked. It had mended everything back together in the best possible way, and Steve saw the work of it with equal parts of love and grief. 

“I wonder if you're ever gonna look at me without thinking about it,” Bucky said in a hushed tone. He wouldn’t meet Steve’s eyes, gaze fixed on the ceiling. 

Steve bowed down and kissed him there briefly, lips brushing over the sensitive new tissue. Bucky jumped a bit at the initial contact before he remembered to relax. It didn’t hurt. Not physically at least. 

“I don't know but when I do think about it, it's about how strong you are, how brave and how I'll never let anyone hurt you like that again. Ever.”

Bucky shivered. He felt strangely vulnerable like this, all laid out and broken open on an emotional level. It remembered him of the first time Steve had made love to him, the way he would ‘to a woman’ as they called it back then, in their little apartment in Brooklyn...

Bucky had been giddy all day, unable to sit still at work, thinking about their grand plans for the evening. Some guys at the docks had told him that it hurt. A lot. Even with the vaseline. Maybe Bucky was a pervert but he was certain that he’d still enjoy it as long as Steve was the one doing the hurting.

When he was finally home, lying naked in Steve’s skinny arms, he was a little tense after all, overwhelmed by this feeling of weightlessness, and trust, and a little bit of shame when Steve put his hands where he knew he was clean but still...

Bucky’s ass grabbed onto Steve’s delicate artist fingers so hard he thought he might never me able to let go again. He felt so small under the other man’s gaze who seemed to know exactly where to touch and how to press to make Bucky come apart at the seems. It was terrifying.

“Hey, Stevie? Don't hurt me,” he said without thinking.

“What?”

“Just... Don't hurt me,” Bucky whispered.

Steve chuckled lowly. “It's only gonna hurt if you don't start relaxing,” he quipped. His words had no bite.

He patted Bucky’s thigh reassuringly, unconcerned with the effect every twitch of his fingers had, seeming amused rather than irritated by the over-excited jump of Bucky’s cock and his nervous clenching.

People never guessed it but between the two of them Steve was the more experienced one. He knew what he was talking about. Bucky hadn't gone beyond second base with anyone - girls or boys. He didn't want to when the people who threw themselves at him never quite looked like a certain blonde boy he’d been in love with since middle school.

Steve didn't have the same reservations with men that he had with women. Good girls went to church on Sunday and got married young, boys fooled around a bit first. They didn't call it love. They didn't call it anything. It wasn’t like that. 

“I mean, my heart, ok? I couldn’t stand it.”

“Bucky, I'd never,” Steve assured him, laying a hand over his own chest like he was swearing on the Bible. “Never. You’re my best friend in the whole world.”

After that, Bucky kissed him like it was the last time he’d get the chance. When Steve kissed back, he let go of his fears and relaxed, enjoying the most wonderful experience he’d ever had in his young life. Steve felt wonderful inside of him and he craved the intimate connection of two bodies joined together in ecstasy. It made him want to do it again and again...

“I should have been here for you,” future Steve murmured, cutting Bucky’s reminiscing short. His voice wavered with emotion, looking back and forth betwen Bucky’s scars and his face.

Bucky shook his head, unwilling to have another discussion on the matter while Steve fondled his ass. Thankfully, Steve seemed to get his meaning without further words. 

“OK. I’m sorry... Moving on. Sorry. Does this hurt?” Steve asked before he gently swiped over his hole with the pad of his thumb. 

Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. Finally, he looked away from the ceiling and down to his partner. “No. It’s just... A little tender. Don’t worry about it.” 

Steve caught his eyes again. “I’m gonna do something,” he announced lowly, almost a whisper, “if you don’t like it or it feels wrong you tell me, ok?” 

“OK,” Bucky confirmed. 

Steve bowed his head, disappearing between Bucky’s spread legs where he was so intimately on display and licked over his hole in a broad swipe of his tongue. 

“Fuck!” Bucky cursed, arching off the mattress. Yes, the tender skin was delicate but sensitive enough that the soft touch of Steve’s tongue felt like he was lighting something up inside in him. In a good way this time - not like the sharp bite of the stun baton. 

Steve picked up his head. “That a no? Talk to me.” Judging by the smirk on his face he wasn’t really concerned about the verdict, reading Bucky’s body like an open book. 

Ward and the others would never have done something like this for him. It had been brutal and animalistic, full of pain and dominance instead of tender love and care. If Steve wanted to show him how different he was, how good he could be for Bucky, he was doing a perfect job. 

“Bastard,” Bucky sighed shakily. “You know damn well it isn’t.” 

Steve grinned wolfishly and dove back in.

---

It went smoothly for a while. Bucky got really close to coming just from a little rimming and Steve’s thoroughly lubed finger in his hole but when Steve tried to use more, attempting to insert a second finger along the first, Bucky tensed up terribly. He wasn’t sure if it was purely physical or a psychological side effect of the trauma but there was no give. None at all. No way Steve was gonna fit his dick in there without blunt force and reopening most of Bucky’s injuries. He was a little bigger than three at least. 

Bucky was going to stop him and apologize for offering something he couldn’t follow through but it seemed as if Steve had already given up on the prospect. He’d gone back to one finger unprompted. Penetrative sex was out of the question.

“It’s alright,” Steve said and kissed the inside of Bucky’s upper thigh while his finger stroked over his prostate again, gently. The feeling was still a little dull, possibly muted by internal scaring as well. “We’ve got time. It’s only been a little over a week. Don’t stress about it.” 

Bucky tried not to wallow in his own disappointment. “I just... I don’t want them to be the last people with their dicks inside of me, you know? I want you.” 

Steve nodded understandingly, then he frowned. “But I am inside of you. Right now.” 

“Not with your dick.” 

Steve winked. “Only metaphorically...” 

“What?” Bucky asked and laughed shakily. “What does that even mean?” 

Steve looked at him with a bad pokerface, like he was dead-set on convincing Bucky how serious he took the issue. “My feelings. My metaphorical dick, Buck. Didn’t they teach you anything but skirt chasing?” 

Bucky shoved his face away, laughing enough to dislodge Steve’s finger. “God, I’m glad you’re stupid.” 

“Well,” Steve grinned. “I’m only stupid for you.”