Dumpster #5: We didn't start the trashfire

[trashmod]

Welcome to the latest, greatest, scummiest iteration of hydratrashmeme. Come on in and please check your sense of shame at the door.

Rules in brief: Don't be a jerk except to fictional characters. Warn if you want, but read at your own risk, because this is emphatically not a safe space. Link your fills on the fill post. Unprompted fills: make a prompt or a header comment and reply to it with the full text. Continuations of fills from earlier rounds: just make sure you link in both places.

What's on-topic: Filthy and perverted twists on all the quality whump served up by Cap: Winter Soldier. Noncon, aftermath, uncomfortably sexualized violence, mind control, inappropriate uses of Bucky Barnes' metal arm, bad guys doing dirtybadwrong things to your faves.
What's off-topic: a/b/o, D/s-verse, soulbonds, mundane AUs, shippy/romanticized noncon, MCU heroes repurposed into OOC or edgydark delivery vehicles for your fave's suffering. If you've got a prompt for one of those burning a hole in your brain, head on over to mcu_trash.

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Fill: The Quiet Game (15.1/?)

[devildears]

(I hope some people in the trash bin are still interested in reading this & I’m not just spamming at this point...)

Bucky had a schedule. A timetable he created in his head every night as he got ready for bed. He followed it conscientiously from the moment the sun came up. All part of a long term roadmap to his recovery.

Same as his journals, the planning was supposed to help Bucky evaluate the things that seemed important to him and put them in a sensible order. Every day a new routine. Sam had suggested it, long before Bucky immigrated to Wakanda and became the White Wolf. Eventually, it stuck.

There were plenty of things to do around the farm and the hut. Enough to keep a supersoldier busy in Steve’s absence.

On this fine day, Bucky had:

• Slept for a solid 8 hours (no nightmares).
• Gotten up at sunrise as per usual.
• Made a fire one-handedly.
• Brewed his tea (using homegrown medical marijuana instead of Marula bark because of the annoyingly high pain level he was in for today).
• Took his meds (4 blue pills and one red if he was feeling particularly anxious).
• Washed his body. Not in the tub outside and certainly not tending to all parts with equal care like Steve thought he should. Maybe one day he could stand it.
• Brushed his teeth (only mostly without gagging after he hit the back of his throat too hard).
• Ate breakfast made from vegetables he grew in his own garden.
• Fed the goats (or not because they were still out on the pastures somewhere and Bucky had spaced out and forgotten about all of that again because it was one of those days).
• Made the bed.
• Cleaned the hut from top to bottom.
• Fumigated the space with sweet-scented smoke to lose the sharp chemical smell.
• And last but not least, played hide and seek with the children.

All in all, he had done many things that were supposed to make him feel better, like he was in control again.

So, yeah... Bucky had a schedule to follow, alright? His spots were filled.

Antagonizing the guards because Mandlakhe was a backstabbing cunt with no empathy who had no idea what he was fucking talking about, wasn’t on there.

So, he wasn’t going say anything. He really wasn’t but somehow, by their own accord, his legs took him there faster than reason.

How dare he? Bucky’s mind screamed at him. How fucking dare he judge me after what I’ve been through? For the one thing he has absolutely no reason to? The one thing—

“Hey,” Bucky called out with venom once he had caught up to the guy. “Hey, shithead!”

Mandlakhe turned around and cracked a smile as thin as the outer layer of a peeled grape.

“Ah, the Winter Soldier...” he sneered. “What a pleasant surprise. How can I be of service today?”

Bucky glared at him, then he put on an equally fake expression that bordered on creepy Stepford wive territory.

“That’s not my name. But I’m so glad you asked. See, it’s dangerous out there, right? I feel like having protection on my way home. Come walk with me.”

When Mandlakhe didn’t move, Bucky dropped the fake smile. He stepped closer and hissed at him. “Walk with me or I’m calling the fucking king himself to come down here and deal with you, alright?! I’m sure he won’t be happy to hear you’ve been neglecting your sacred guard duties. You know... Being the loyal subject that you are.”

Bucky clapped Mandlakhe on the back with slightly more strength than necessary just to hear him cough. Then he turned on his heal and started walking in the other direction, making his way home.

He listened to Mandlakhe struggle with himself as he went. The guy was shuffling his feet for a good 30 seconds or so until he finally made up his mind and followed him in fast strides.

Bucky slowed his steps deliberately, but never quite enough for the other man to catch up. Other than that, he didn’t acknowledge his presence.

By the time they finally reached his hut, Bucky’s whole body was vibrating with suppressed anger but he couldn’t risk the children overhearing them.

“For Bast’s sake...” Mandlakhe moaned after him. “Would you wait up? What is it that you want?” he asked, noticeably out of breath.

“What do you think?”

Bucky pushed the colorful woven curtain out of the way which covered the entrance of his hut and provided some privacy. They had recently installed it, right before Steve’s departure.

If it slapped Mandlakhe in the face as it snapped back, well, that was hardly his fault.

Bucky stopped in the center of the room. He turned around to watch Mandlakhe trail after him with a curse on his lips. Then he got right to it.

“Listen... I need to talk to you, man! What you said about me to the kids— It’s fucking cruel, ok? I didn’t ask to be assaulted in my own home! Why would you tell your brother that? The fuck’s wrong with you...”

Mandlakhe cleared his throat but he didn’t seem guilty or embarrassed about the accusations in the least. Instead, he raised his chin up high like he was gearing up for a fight.

“This isn’t your America,” he announced loudly, voice hard and cold enough to give Bucky a chill. “I can say what I want here to my own flesh and blood. You don’t control us. My personal opinion on the matter... It doesn’t concern you.”

Bucky stared at him open-mouthed.

“Yes, it fucking does! What you’re teaching these kids is complete bullshit and it’s dangerous, man! I mean, ‘men can’t get raped?’ Seriously? Is that something you read in a magazine once? What do you know about it?”

Mandlakhe shook his head and snorted at him in barely hidden disgust.

“I do not know, and I do not care to know about it, but I am sure that you had your reasons to go with them and play along instead of calling for help as you should have...”

Bucky’s blood started to boil.

Seriously. What the hell?

“They had guns!” he shouted with blazing anger, “Loaded ones! They put them against my head, against the children’sheads. Do you really think what they did to me was consensual? That’s not how it fucking works!”

“Yes, it is!” Mandlakhe hissed. “A real warrior would have died before servicing the enemy the way you did! Cowards don’t earn my respect. That’s all you need to know...” he scoffed with his arms crossed in front of his body.

“Bullshit!” Bucky screamed louder, shaking with suppressed rage and the injustice of it all. He’d given them so much...

“That’s such bullshit! If I’d let them kill me instead, your kid brother would be dead now, wouldn’t he?!”

Mandlakhe turned away from him, trying to leave like he couldn’t be bothered.

Bucky stopped him with a rough hand on his shoulder, fingers digging in hard. He shoved and turned Mandlakhe back around with the force of an enhanced being on the brink of a nervous collapse.

“Wouldn’t he? Answer me! He’s six goddamn years old!” Bucky cried, ignoring the tears in his eyes which were threatening to fall.

“Do you realize what they would have done to him before the end? —No?! Cuz’ I sure do! I know exactly what they would have done! So, fuck you and your stupid pride! What kind of a brother are you anyway? You’d rather have him go through that just to scrape his shredded brains off the walls?!”

Mandlakhe kept glaring at him with unmasked hostility and shook his head again, in disbelief.

“Answer me, man!” Bucky demanded.

“No,” the warrior hissed and poked the other man in the chest reproachfully. Bucky barely managed not to flinch back.

“No, I wouldn’t! But you were their fighter, were you not? The Winter Soldier? A famous murderer for their cause! You could at least have killed the men when they were distracted! If not before it happened then later when they were sated and drunk on their victory over you. How could you let them get away with it?! I would have killed them or died trying! Where is your honor?! Don’t you care what people say?!”

Bucky laughed at him without any humor and threw his hand up in the air.

“Oh my god, so that’s what it’s all about then? Your fucking reputation?! Your shitty pride?! You sure you wanna talk about honor to me?”

At that, Mandlakhe’s hand white-knuckled his spear and he stomped his feet like a child.

“My brother lives with these images for the rest of his life, and yet here you stand! Given our charity! Alive and well! You did nothing. Nothing!”

Bucky had to look away. He’d done plenty. Enduring the rape and keeping the children quiet had been no small feat - whether Mandlakhe was ready to acknowledge his sacrifice or not. He’d never asked for charity, and he’d never gotten it. He’d never—

Bucky felt his control slipping. This guy needed to stop talking before he put him through a wall.

“Shut up,” he said, clenching his jaw tightly. “Just... Shut up!”

“Why did you let them escape if you did not want them to come back here?” Mandlakhe jeered, gaining ground. “See? Surely it was not so bad then!”

“Jesus! You really think that was fun, huh?! That I couldn’t get enough of it?” Bucky went on, hating his shrill voice for breaking the way it did.

He took another step towards Mandlakhe to looked him in the eyes and make him understand. It was all right there, the whole truth: The pain, and the hurt, and the humiliation.

“Do you know what it’s like to be torn apart down there?” Bucky asked, his tone getting more vicious with every word.

Mandlakhe had the audacity to roll his eyes and dart him a disdainful look as if Bucky had said something inappropriate.

“Course not... That’s what I thought. So, let me clue you in on a little secret: It hurts like fucking hell! They went at me so hard, I needed goddamn stitches! They shoved their dicks and their weapons inside me dry, as for as they could go, like it didn’t matter anyways! It wasn’t exactly a party, alright? I wasn’t even hard! I was bleeding all over the place by the time they were finished! Hell, by the end of it, I could hardly even walk!”

Mandlakhe gave him another unimpressed but deeply disgusted look. Then he snorted and tried to turn away again.

“Yeah, that’s right, dickhead!“ Bucky said. “You still don’t believe me, do you? That’s rich. You know what?”

Bucky grabbed his arm and pulled him along, towards the wall where the Hydra soldiers had guarded the children. He could still see their little faces, frightened and without a lick of understanding about what was going on.

„Why don’t you take a long hard look at my scarred asshole then? See if you’re still convinced that men can’t get raped after all.”

Mandlakhe started to struggle for real, trying to break free from Bucky’s hold.

“What?! Are you crazy?! Let go of me!”

Bucky didn’t listen to him, shoving him forward towards the corner where the mattress lay on the ground.

“Fuck it, I’ll do you one better! You want a turn to get even for what I did to your poor family? Is that what it’s gonna take? Fine! Sit back and enjoy the freak show! Cuz’ I gotta tell ya’, everyone’s been there by now and one more sadistic fuck getting his rocks off on my account is not gonna make a difference!”

“I hope Rogers is not the jealous type,” Ward had said as Number 5 and 6 tried to work their way into Bucky’s aching body together, ripping the delicate skin apart while he muffled a tortured scream, “otherwise, this might get awkward...”

“No! You will let me go, right now!” Mandlakhe protested again, trying to shove him off and losing his spear in the prospect. It hit the floor with an ominous clang.

“What’s wrong?! Cheer up, buddy! This is your lucky day!”

Bucky let go of the man abruptly once they had reached the mattress and the warrior tumbled to the ground without grace.

This was the exact spot. The room hadn’t really changed at all since that day except for the new kitchen table.

Bucky should have burned it all down.

Mandlakhe pushed himself up into a proper position but he didn’t try to leave again for some reason. He just sat there transfixed and watched as Bucky pulled the blue-striped Shuka over his head in one go.

Bucky threw it at the man’s feet like an accusation.

The warrior seemed frozen, caught in some kind of weird fascination. His eyes traveled here and there, staring up at Bucky’s naked body, aghast.

Bucky was used to the horror. His whole front was covered in scars, some fading, others thick and standing out. Whip marks, burns, cuts, and bullet holes. Every single one of them told their own painful story.

His back was much worse.

“What? Are you gun shy now?” Bucky snarled. “Come on. I’ll bend right over for you! Let’s see if your theory holds up. You can even bring that spear of yours and fuck me open with it. You’d be doing me a favor really. Guy like me? Who knows... Maybe I’ll like that, too!”

“Bucky,” Steve said out of nowhere with an eerie calm.

The two men nearly jumped out of their skin as they turned towards the noise. “What the hell is going on here?”

Re: Fill: The Quiet Game (15.1/?)

[(Anonymous)]

oh god I'm such a fan of Bucky's scars