hydratrashmeme | Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Holy shitballs, look at us go. Welcome to Captain America fandom's resident wretched hive of scum and villainy: ROUND THREE. AKA Bad Guys Do Dirtybadwrong Things To Your Faves, AKA the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme. As usual, BLANKET NON-CON AND NSFW WARNINGS apply: just assume going in that everything in this landfill is unfit for human consumption.

Rules in brief: don't be a jerk except to fictional characters, warnings for particularly fucked-up garbage are nice but not required, thou shalt not judge the trashiness of thy neighbor's kinks unless thy neighbor is trying to pass off their rotting banana peels and half-eaten pizza crusts as a healthy romantic dinner for two, off-topic comments may be chucked out of the dumpster at management's discretion, management's discretion decrees that omegaverse, soulbond AUs, D/s-verse, non-superpowered AUs, and dark!good guys AUs are off-topic.

[Round 1] [Round 2] [Fill post] [Chatter post] [hydratrashmeme Pinboard archive (maintained by

greenkirtle)] [Round 3 in flat view (comments in non-threaded chronological order, most recent last)]

Round 3 is closed; comments and fills in existing threads are still welcome, but all new prompts go to Round 4.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*

Steve woke up when the overhead lights went out. After a few long seconds of darkness, the dim emergency backup lights went on, along with a woop-ing siren noise that echoed weirdly through the hallway.

There were gunshots in the background, and yelling. The two guards that remained outside the cell door were nervous, glancing down the hallway and back into the cell like chickens that weren’t sure whether the fox was prowling outside the fence or already in the henhouse.

Bucky was awake and watchful, staring at the guards with outright hostility. The guards looked at Steve and fingered their weapons as the sounds of fighting grew nearer.

Bucky slid Steve’s small body behind him. “Mine,” he said, glaring at them through the barred window of their cell door. “мой друг.”

One of the guards looked at him in dawning horror and then muttered something into his comm. He dropped his hand to his sidearm. Steve felt Bucky’s muscles bunch up in anticipation.

Their boss must have relayed orders back to them quickly, because after a whispered argument the two guards did a quick match of rock - paper - scissors. The shorter one lost. The loser squared his shoulders -- no, Steve thought, that was unfair, they were clearly bothlosers -- and approached the door.

“Okay, you two. I’m just gonna come in there and -- ah --” Words failed him for a moment, and he pulled out his phone and squinted at it. Then, in a moment of breathtaking overconfidence, he said something that sounded like ‘aught-knee-mat’.

Bucky stiffened. Behind Bucky’s shoulder, Steve rolled his eyes. The kind of idiot who would rely on Google Translate to pacify an incredibly dangerous assassin supersoldier was not the kind of idiot von Strucker or any of the other HYDRA leaders would keep around. God they must be getting desperate. Maybe these guards weren’t even officially HYDRA. Maybe they were brought in by an evil temp agency.

The door swung open.

Bucky launched himself off the pallet and broke the guard’s neck before he’d taken two steps inside the room. The guard must have chosen the wrong Russian verb, because his body lay slumped in a heap on the cement floor, spine twisted at a horrible angle.

The other guard was standing frozen outside the door in shock. Bucky put two bullets in his chest. He’d moved so fast that Steve hadn’t even seen him grab the dead guard’s pistol.

Bucky listened for a few seconds while the gunshots and yelling moved closer to them, and then hauled both the bodies inside the cell. He rifled through their pockets, coming up with spare ammunition (pocket), an empty pack of cigarettes (discard), ID cards (pocket), gum wrappers (discard), strawberry lip balm (pocket, after brief hesitation) and a set of keys he tossed to Steve. Steve started flipping through keys, looking for the match to his manacle and his gag, while Bucky stripped the smaller of the two guards and set his clothes neatly aside.

By the time Sam arrived at the door to their cell, Steve was fully dressed but still wrestling with the contraption that kept the gag locked around his head. Sam was running so fast he rushed past them the first time and had to backtrack. “Steve!” he shouted. “Steve, are you -- oh, Jesus.”

Sam took one look at Bucky standing in front of smaller-Steve with a pistol in hand and a meaningful look in his eye, and he retreated to the other side of the corridor, keeping his own weapon pointed at the floor. “Hey, man. Uh, is Steve alright? How are -- things?”

Steve thumped Bucky on the shoulder but didn’t get a response because Bucky was too busy giving the scary-assassin eyes to Sam. Slowly, telegraphing all of his movements, Sam holstered his weapon and spread his empty hands. Bucky didn’t move -- if anything, he got more intense, perhaps expecting some kind of superpowered attack now that Sam’s hands were free.

“Mmff!” Steve yelled in exasperation, poking his head out from behind Bucky. Bucky was vibrating with tension but he let Steve slip out to approach Sam. Sam cut the straps of the gag off with some kind of laser gadget, and then handed Steve a pistol and a few clips of ammunition.

Steve spat the gag out, but he had to work his jaw around for a few seconds before he could say anything.

“Everyone’s here,” Sam said, as Steve tried to get his jaw to work again. “You had us worried.”

“Stark?” Steve asked.

“Top floor, intimidating the staff into telling him what they did to you. He says, and I quote, ‘This is too easy, but not in an “It’s a trap!” way.’ Unquote.”

Steve’s brow furrowed as he parsed that. Star Wars. He knew that one.

“Natasha’s in the command centre with Clint, talking to the, like, two dudes in this entire building who are even remotely competent. Jury’s out on that, maybe only one of them is, because the other one just keeps demanding we give him his coffee back and I can’t tell if he’s serious or not. And Hulk is--” Sam was interrupted by a deafening roar from several stories away. “Hulk is smashing the lab. I think he got bored.”

Steve thought about the scientists shrieking about first authorship while they were jabbing him with needles, and allowed himself to feel a little bit smug.

“So, what’s the plan?” Sam asked.

Steve looked over his shoulder at Bucky and realized he hadn’t moved from where he was standing in the doorway of the cell. His face was doing something complicated as he looked out past the door. Steve walked over to grab Bucky’s wrist, taking a deep breath.

“Mine,” Steve said, and tugged him forward a step. “Mine.”

Bucky hesitated for a minute, looking torn, and reached back to shove his books into one of his cargo pockets. Then Bucky allowed Steve to pull him out the door, wearing an almost-smile that Steve hadn’t seen in a long time.

Steve held on to him all the way back to the Quinjet. He wasn’t gonna let go this time.

It wasn’t so bad being small again, Steve thought, as Bucky pulled him into his lap in the Quinjet and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Steve could feel Bucky’s chin resting against the top of his head, Steve’s ear pressed to Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s heart was beating steadily.

Re-seruming could wait a few days. This had worked out great.

***

(piglet here)

holy shit this is amazing I love you sooooooo much! The humor and the kindness and the filth and .... just everything. <33333 First authorship and the lip balm and the google translate and Skinny Steve kicking so much butt and the cuddling and possessiveness...

(and the gag. omg. You know how much I love gags halp.) \o/

Basically this is the best thing ever.

Aaahhhhh I'm so glad you like it!!! It was the expression on Bucky's face, in your art piece, that I really got caught by. I wanted to know what was going on, you know? And then I made a list of all the things my id wanted to see in a shrinkyclinks trash piece ... and this happened :P

BLESS YOUR ID it is the most amazing!! \o/

(I'm sometimes hesitant about shrinkyclinks because I don't like it when WS is all super brutal and uncaring and Steve is scared and confused. So I'm super glad that (a) Steve is feisty and (b) WS is kind and possessive in the best of ways.)

((When I drew it I'd imagined WS whispering gentle comforting words, so I'm super glad that the feeling of care and tenderness transferred over in the art somehow))

Plus the sex is super hot!!!!

(I wish I could write hot sex. But alas, the only things I seem to write is failure-to-have-sex for various reasons. *side-eyes current wip*)

Oh, this is GLORIOUS.

YAY! \o/

SCREAMING AT THE BRILLIANCE OF THIS TRASH!

"A minor oversight in the design of the containment area meant that smaller-Steve had simply wriggled out of the now ridiculously-oversized restraints like an angry ferret escaping a paper bag, and punched the nearest technician in the nuts."

SO FUNNY AND SO VERY ODDLY TOUCHING (Bucky gets to take his BOOKS)

You get 10% of my apartment dumpster in perpetuity.

I mean, smaller-Steve is still the same Steve, just -- y'know -- smaller. And probably angrier. They really should have taken that into account before proceeding.

Something about the skinny!Steve/Winter Soldier pairing just twangs my heartstrings. (In a disturbing-sounding minor seventh, I suppose, given that my response is pure trash).

OF COURSE BUCKY GETS TO TAKE HIS BOOKS, WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DO YOU THINK I AM

"Steve was ready to punch God Himself to keep Bucky safe."

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

"I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL"

Steve Rogers, human @dril post

YOU ARE AMAZING!

I love your writing, it's so funny and wonderfully descriptive at times.

"Their jubilation was dampened by the discovery that Steve's smaller self might no longer be Captain America-sized but was still 100% Steve Rogers, and Steve Rogers was now mad enough to spit nails. A minor oversight in the design of the containment area meant that smaller-Steve had simply wriggled out of the now ridiculously-oversized restraints like an angry ferret escaping a paper bag, and punched the nearest technician in the nuts."

This is just pure gold, I squeed, and you have more wonderful expressions like that.
"
I also loved the actual sex scene, and how they're just sort of having a moment there, and the guards are completely oblivious to it.

I'M SO PLEASED YOU LIKE IT! :D

The evil intern who tested those restraints pointed out the design flaw to their evil supervisor at least once, but evil supervisors never listen, tsk.

Those guards were oblivious to EVERYTHING. It turned out to be fatal. *shrugs* (Somewhere, evil HR is saying, "You try to hire good people, but what can you do.")

This is hilarious and adorable! I love how unimpressed they both are with the guards, like the Winter Soldier's judgmental face at the "Call Me Maybe" ring tone and Steve wondering if they were brought in by an evil temp agency.

[H]e wasn’t sure whether to thank the leftover serum in his veins or his appetite for cock. Steve, asking the important questions.

Wonderful.

The guards are just so profoundly outmatched by Steve + Winter Soldier, and they're so puffed up in their own evil egos that they don't even realize it. I just imagine GOB from Arrested Development going: "I've made a huge mistake" at like five different points in this story.

:D

Yes, Hydra, Steve has always been a greased weasel with a penchant for fighting dirty. Learn your history! Sheesh.

Every part of this is glorious, glorious filth. You managed to hit almost every one of my trash buttons and quite a few of my normal buttons all at once. This is a gift.

I confess this is pure shrinkyclinks id for me, so I just identified all my buttons and smashed them until the wiring gave out. Pure trash! I'm glad you liked it! :)

Marvelous and sweet. Love Bucky's tentativeness at leaving the cell. And the way he reacted to the orders at the beginning. Very, very good.

Secret sweetness hidden in the horrible, horrible trash :D Thank you!

This had worked out great.

Bahahaha, Steeeeb! I love everything about this fic.

Just imagine that gif of the dog sitting at a table while everything goes up in flames around it. "Steve, you've been captured, experimented on, de-serumed, beaten, chained up, gagged, had incredibly non-consensual sex with your brainwashed BFF, and then watched him murder two people without batting an eyelash. How are you coping?"

And Steve is all "THIS IS FINE"

Given the setting, I can't believe how wonderfully sweet and sexy this fic is, and Steve's thoughts are so funny!

I'm so glad you liked it! There's something very inherently sweet -- and trashy, but also sweet -- about protective Winter Soldier. Especially with smaller-Steve. He's ordered to, y'know, TAKE CARE OF HIM [evil goon laughter] and WS just goes straight to "OKAY YES MISSION ACCEPTED"

WS:*pets softly*
goon: no i said TAKE CARE OF HIM
WS: *tucks in blanket*
goon: no i said--
WS: *makes cocoa*
goon: goddamnit i'm coming in there i'll do it myself
WS: *murders gently*
other goons: O_o

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dumpster #3: The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't

Re: FILL: [Humans as Gods] con't